6th November

DONEDONEDONE!
Phew!
I wrote 13.5k today to catch up for being lazy and only writing 5.5k yesterday, and hit 50,000 words at 8:22 this evening! I'm so pleased. 6 days! That beats last years by like, a day and two hours. I'm proud. =D I also started a new novel yesterday, which is so much better than the first one. Shh. That explains the 13.5k day without death. >_>

Now I can settle back to a nice 3k a day and do some work for uni. I really need to do some work for uni. >_o Haha

50,000th word: "You're". How dull.
51,000th: "a". Not much better. XD
Sentence: "You're a young man!" Even worse =P

Ah well.

Sleep now. And uni work. And sleep. I have a poorly back. xD

*dies*

4th November

Today has been a day full of ups and downs, that's for sure. More servere homesickness, but since today has been my day off (well, strictly speaking I should have been doing reading, but oh well) I managed to hit my goal of 10k. :]

That puts me at 1k ahead of last year's schedule, even with that bad start. Maybe I will be able to do it in 6 days. Then I can feel better by doing lots of work for university. : )

Anyway. I'm super tired, so here's an excerpt:

“Goddamnit! Lockdown!” Her panic was contagious, and my heart began to thump so loudly it almost drowned out the alarm.

“What the hell set it off?” I demanded, facing each of the others in turn before finally resting my gaze on the locked and bolted window in front of us. “And how the hell are we going to get out?”

“Front door,” Lyn breathed. “We have to get out there - it’ll be the only one not yet closed.”

Before I had the chance to question her queer logic, or even demand a further explanation of our trouble, she had grabbed me by the arm and was pulling me out towards the main staircase. Above us we heard the scraping of chairs and a shout of dismay in the voice of a man, but this only made us move quicker.

We reached the front door in what seemed like seconds, the thudding out of feet the only way I had of keeping time. We flew down the staircase, manuscript carefully tucked away under Kysin’s arm, and found that Lyn had been right in her assertion. The front door was wrenched open with visible relief from all of us, and we fled out into the darkness of the night gladly.

We ran until we reached the cars, out of breath and exhausted. Panting I doubled over, resting my hands on my knees as I fought to regain my breath. Lyn beside me coughed. I began to laugh, uncontrollably, with the feeling of pure pleasure rippling through my body. We had done it! This was the first step, and we had won. Things could only get better from here, and then those other government oafs would simply have to believe me.

“What’s so funny?” Lyn asked angrily, tossing her head like a displeased horse. Leaf dropped to the floor beside his car and shook his head. “What’s with the damn cackle?”

“I never thought myself of a thief,” I spoke through my laughter, hiccuping until my chest hurt. “And I don’t think I’ve ever seen Leaf move so quickly in my life!”
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day too. I just hope my back stops hurting so bad. Damn this silly unversity chairs! > : (

Words written today: 9986
Total word count: 31,014

3rd November

So, last night was something of a disappointment, because I was attacked by severe homesickness. Luckily I managed to catch up today, which is good because it means I'm on target for hitting 50k on day 6 - one day earlier than last year! I just have to keep it up.

I don't know how much of this my poor back can take (it's seizing up like crazy), but I'm determined to give it my all. I also put an excerpt up on the NaNo author page of mine, if anybody cares, or is even reading this. I think I'm talking to myself... >_>

Anyway. Except:

It was almost midnight when I finally heard the doorbell ring. Lyn had been gone for almost eight hours - not that I had been counting - yet when I let her in she didn’t seem at all tired. If anything, in fact, she seemed more lively than she had earlier, and bounded into the foyer with a grin on her face.

“Morbid, much,” I commented, but she ignored me. Already I was fond of the dynamic that was growing between us, and found myself hoping desperately that she wouldn’t disappoint. I imagined she would make a fantastic questioner.

“Job done.” She jumped through to the sitting room and sat herself down on the same sofa she had occupied earlier. I watched her for a moment, allowing her to catch her breath, and then descended on the arm of the chair, like a wolf on its prey.

“Do tell me how it went,” I pleaded. It had been my intention to assert my authority here, claim importance and show my desire for knowledge, but I was so riled by the thought of just revenge that I couldn’t help myself. “Tell me. Did she cry?”

“Not much,” Lyn admitted, picking at something in her teeth. “She didn’t believe me at first, and we argued for a bit. Then I hit her and tied her to a chair, and she seemed more willing to listen. She said she was sorry, and she wouldn’t tell anybody about your dad - I assume that’s something you don’t want to talk about? And then, well, I just gave her a good last moment by making her watch me dance naked.”

“What?”

“I’m joking.” Lyn rolled her eyes. “I just shot her, okay? Is that good enough?” She huffed loudly and folded her arms across her chest in a childish manner.

“I’m beginning to think this was a bad idea,” I ventured, but Lyn stopped me.

“I did what you asked, and cleaned it up nicely. Nobody will even know she tried to go home. She’s buried out in a nice patch of cemetry outside one of those early little villages in East Side. They’ll never know.”

Word count for yesterday: 6,290
Word count for today: 9,486
Total word count: 21,028

1st November

NANONANONANONANO! =D

So, of course, NaNo started yesterday, and while I'm not up for a long update, I'll say that I didn't get as much done as planned, but am enjoying myself. I had a lovely time at the Notts NaNo meet, and now have my own pet rock - and then spent the evening with Tom and friends, doing Halloween things and then writing. It was great :)

Now I'm back in Norwich and should WRITEWRITEWRITE!

Here's a small exerpt of what's happening so far:

Outside I tried to hold my breath, panic rising at the thought that I had drunk enough to make myself sick. I hadn’t had that much! I could count on one hand the amount of drinks I’d allowed myself tonight, and they hadn’t even been strong ones. I gagged, body doubled over as I hovered in the gutter, trying my best to keep from vomiting.

“Shit,” I swore, my stomach lurching again. “Not good, not good...” I took a deep breath; feeling my ribcage rise and fall was enough to make me feel violently ill again. Head spinning, I struggled to keep myself upright, a sharp piece of brick biting into the tender skin on my palm. I clutched the hem of my dress, focus drawn from my stomach, but to no avail.

I didn’t even get the chance to ask for help before I felt my legs go inexplicably weak and I collapsed to the floor in a heap. My head hit the concrete hard, stars whooshing into vision against the black of the night sky. The music of the party was too loud, my body too tired to move. I lay on my back, arms sprawled out, and let my vision go black. The sickness subsided slowly, and I was left empty and cold, my body fixed in a half-state of levitation. I brought my knees to my chest and closed my eyes.

The only thought that was tangible enough to grasp, was how much I hoped I hadn’t ruined my dress. Little did I know, that was going to be the least of my worries.

Words written yesterday: 5,234
Wordcount overall so far: 8,743

22nd October

So, the countdown to NaNoWriMo 2009 begins!

I didn't forget about this blog, but I've been really busy lately. I've had another assignment to get sorted out before NaNo, as well as arrangements to go home for next week (because it's my reading week =D).

Also, of course, there has been NaNoWriMo preparation to be had. >D This year my idea came pretty late - but it was actually my last blog that got me thinking. A changeling child, an Alice in Wonderland spin... And, I came up with this:

In the world of Fane, the Changeling race are struggling to adapt to the rules of the modern world. In this new and growing world outside their own, children are harder to steal, knowledge harder to glean - life just isn't as prosperous as it once was. The rulers of the quarters of Fane (West, East, North and South) are doing their best to save a world they know is dying - and for West that means she will fight to the very last before she sees her fellow rulers collapse, no matter what the cost in collateral. Some call her mad; others avoid calling her anything at all.

Lo, a young Human working in the city, falls asleep one night under the stars, only to wake in a world where nothing is as it seems. Threatened, she will do whatever it takes to get back home - wherever that really is...

Yeah, the synopsis is a bit of a cop-out, but it's something to work with. Basically, a girl in her late teens get kidnapped by some kind of accident (i.e., her changeling family are very scatterbrained and their daughter is not a baby any more...). She has been working in a strip club, so has seen many things, but at first is convinced she's been drugged. The people are different, with rainbow coloured tinted skin and strange mannerisms, and everything is not as it seems. And, of course, there is a take-over bid and world danger. =D You know it's going to be good.

It's better than nothing, right? I don't think it will be as good as last year, but it should be fun at least.

I wrote a character sketch for West the other night. I'll post it here, and TRY to be more active between now and NaNo.

	Promotion The day I got my promotion was the day I stopped worrying about what everybody would think of me. It’s a difficult task, deciding to throw away a habitual life-time of pestering and preening, just to be sure that somebody likes you - but I made the jump because I knew that I wouldn’t need to care any more. And, when I say ‘promotion’, I mean nothing more than a lovely little jump up the social ladder. It was an accident, really. That’s what I tell myself. I guess I was just in the right place at the right time. A morning in early August, cool and bright. I’d been stood idly by one of the great bay windows in my father’s office, listening as he chattered incessantly into his intercom-phone. I’d been waiting for him for a good thirty minutes by this point, and he showed no sign of letting up with the conversation. The worst thing was: he wasn’t even talking business. “No, Marianne. No, no, not at all! She’s a lovely girl. -What? Yes! Don’t be silly. Of course I’ll let her know. Will you? Really? Of course...” And it went on like this, the same, over and over and over and over- In the end, I just walked up to him and put my finger on the receiver. “Oh, Wisteria, honey! I was having a conversation with poor Marianne. You know how rude it is to interrupt people when they’re talking. Why couldn’t you wait a little longer?” “You’ve been talking to ‘poor Marianne’ for half an hour longer than I care to listen to you talk to her. Why did you ask me in here if you’ve nothing to do but chatter away like some half-wit moron?” Dad always hated it when I talked to him like he was stupid, even if it did seem that this was the case. He lowered his snowy eyebrows into something of a frown, the shimmering skin around his lips growing taught as he held back a nasty response. I would have smiled, but there was a reason he’d called me here, and it wasn’t for this, so I held my tongue of my further comment and folded my hands on my hips impatiently. “I called you here to discuss a few matters with you regarding those new jobs opening up in the ladder. You know the ones I mean?” I shook my head. Office grunts like Wisteria West didn’t get to know these special kinds of information. We weren’t important enough, apparently. My dad took a moment to shoot me a funny look, and then changed his tune. “Well, then I’ve got news for you!” A beaming smile made its way across his face, and he leaned forward to tap my arm genially. Dad and I don’t get on at the best of times, so this contact was disturbing in itself. I shook him off. “Tell me, then,” I grumbled, folding my arms across my chest. “I’ve not got all day.” “You have now, daughter of mine,” Dad crowed happily. “They’ve been talking about a new system of government, based on votes-hereditary, which I’m sure you’ll have heard about-” I hadn’t, but I nodded anyway, wanting him to cut to the chase, “And the votes are in!” He paused expectantly. “What? Are you expecting me to say something witty?” I raised an eyebrow in annoyance. He didn’t seem to mind, simply leaned back in his expensive leather armchair - new? - and tapped his finger on the table in front of him. “Are you going to tell me what’s so exciting?” I asked again, stifling a yawn. If I was here any longer I was pretty sure they’d fire my ass and it’d be all his fault. “I’ve been chosen from four thousand government employees to be the new face of government for the west of Fane!” The grin on his face expanded, as did my annoyance. “You?” I scoffed. “Ruler of government?” “At the end of the current term,” Dad admitted. “I’ll be one of four new rulers of Fane. Doesn’t that sound marvellous? It’s what I’ve been working towards for years! And, now, it’s finally here! Goodness, your mother would be so proud. I wish she were here to see it...” “It was your obsession that killed her in the first place,” I muttered darkly, pouting. “Well, congratulations, I guess. I don’t suppose there are any perks for a girl like me in this new system of yours?” I asked lightly, highly doubtful. Dad had never much cared about me, or my job. To him I was a disappointment, simply because I was born with the wrong spirit. How could I help it if he’d made a mistake? Being a grounded Changeling was hard enough in the world of business, I didn’t need his pressure too. “As a matter of fact,” Dad commented drily, “there is something quite interesting about these new positions. I mentioned votes-hereditary, right?” “Right.” “Well, I’ve done the voting part, which means that the West family is in power for life! Or, at least as long as we are good for the people. Isn’t that smashing?” It took me a moment to comprehend what he was saying. Working my jaw to sooth my stomach I shrugged my shoulders. “What exactly does that mean?” “Well, if anything were to happen to me, naturally you’d be the new ruler of the west of Fane. It’s hereditary, like those Earth monarchies we used to hear so much about. You know?” “If anything happened to you...?” I repeated, a nasty feeling broiling in my stomach. “If I were to die, or become very ill suddenly, you would have to take my place.” Innocently Dad chuckled to himself and lit up a pipe. Mirroring him, I returned the smile. Little did he know what I had in store for him. Silly half-witted moron.

9 days until NaNoWriMo 2009!

8th October 2009

October is here again! You know what that means, right?

...

NANOWRIMO IS COMING! Haha. I'm excited about it this year, as always, although there is a lot of uncertainty surrounding how much time I'll have to write (what with my creative writing course demanding a lot from me) and whether I'll actually have an idea by November. It's entirely possible that I won't have an idea, which will be the first time in... Well, ever.

I think I'm having trouble because I've had to do a lot of work on my portfolio for my creative writing class recently, and getting a GOOD idea for that was hard and a lot of effort - so an idea for NaNo is also hard. Not to mention I've still got an unfinished novel that I need to FINISH, and which I don't really want to abandon. I guess I didn't really plan my year out very well, did I? XD Ah well, I'm sure I'll work something out.

Perhaps a story about a changeling child,
Or an Alice in Wonderland spin,
Or maybe a story about a person from a different world getting stuck in the local prison system.

Hey, maybe a combination of them all! It doesn't matter; it'll be a bit of fun. I look forward to it though :)

Tonight I'm going home to see my mum and my sister, and Tom. I get to see my DOGS AND CAT TOO! I miss them so much after not seeing them for three weeks. It's going to be good.

On the train I have a lot of reading to do, for my course, and maybe some writing too, depending on how long it all takes. :P But, it's going to be a nice relaxing journey, hopefully.

Also, I should start blogging more. After all, isn't that like... the tradition?
:3

Something like that. :D

I'll update soon!
~ Toodles
xx

19th September 2009

So, I would feel exceptionally guilty about not updating this place in so long if I hadn't been so busy over the last few months. I've not really had much time for the internet (as I didn't think I might), what with Jor coming, the huge party, doing loads of AWESOME stuff, Jor going, getting ready for exam results - EXAM RESULTS - GETTING INTO UNIVERSITY!! and stuff like that. You know, the whole shebang.

Speaking of university... OHMYGODILEAVEFORNORWICHTOMORROW. It's the scariest thing ever, knowing that I'm about to leave home and I may not ever come back for good. I'm at Dad's house at the moment, spending some last-minute quality time with him (or at least trying to anyway) and getting ready to go home at 4ish to pack Steve's car with all my shit. I have a lot of shit.

In fact, I have so much shit that I'm pretty sure it won't all fit in my room. I mean, I have a suitcase full of clothes, two boxes of food and toiletries, two boxes of bedding and bathroom stuff etc., and two more boxes of shit. Just shit. XD It's going to be insane! We're supposed to head off quite early though so we can get to Norwich at around 11ish. We can move into our accommodation from 10am, and I want to get there as soon as possible because I want to get unpacked and meeting people. I'm scared.

Mum's going to help me settle in, though, and then I'm meeting Becky (SHE GOT IN TOO) and we'll go exploring or something. Probably not for long since I have a ticket for the fresher's icebreaker in the evening and I don't think she wants to go much. Hopefully I'll get along with my new flatmates and they'll be going as well. :) Hopefully. *fingers crossed*

Other than that, though, I don't have much to talk about. I started writing a new novel, I guess, but the chances of that getting past 60k anytime soon are quite slim. I've not had much time to write, nor have I really wanted to. I'm just enjoying this stage in my life, and as soon as I'm settled down again I should be able to get back on it.

Also, the NaNoWriMo thread (one of them at least) is up on Gaia. I saw it and nearly wet myself. :D Can't wait to get involved in that again. =D

But, for now, quality time with Tom and Dad.
Toodles!
xx

27th June

JORDANA IS COMING ON MONDAY! Eeeeeeeeee.

XD I'm so excited I don't think there are even words to describe it. We're going to drive down to London (Gatwick) tomorrow afternoon so we have time to rest before picking her up, and then get to the airport for 5:30am. :D Then we've got a lovely long drive back to Derby in the rush hours traffic, haha. But, WHO CARES?! It's going to be so AWESOME it won't even matter!

Holy Jesus. It's all I can think about.

I'm going out tonight to Danni's birthday party. We went into town dancing for her birthday in May, and we're going to the British Legion for a proper party tonight. It's going to be good, though I won't be drinking because I only have a fiver left of my money. Oops!

Ah well, that's probably best. I don't want a hangover tomorrow when we go to get Jor, because that would be baaaaaaaad don't you think? :P

Anywho. I think I want a nap before I go out. So, I'm gonna nap for an hour, shower and get ready. I just hope that Dad can find the party place. >_> Silly.

Maybe I'll update during the next two weeks, but I doubt it. I'll be having far too much fun for the internet. =P

Toodles!
xx

11th June

Oh for goodness sake! I've been so busy I've completely forgotten about this place. I have SO much to update about! I think it's impossible to do it all. I'll have to try and be brief.

One: I'm in the middle of exams right now. These are my final exams at Sixth Form. Ever! Unless I have to come back next year because I failed, which I definitely hope will not be the case. Really, really truly. My exams finish on Monday (I have three exams in one day... >_o) but once they're over it means I can get on with writing the final few scenes for Medina's novel and starting Roboto for the SuWriMos which started on June 1st. :D I can't wait to get out of school, but at the same time I'm really nostalgic about it all, and I just know I'm going to miss it. :(

May Ball was a laugh, as was the after-party, at which I got so drunk I fell down some stairs! But it's okay. The teachers who went to the after-party were more drunk than me. Mr Murray, my history teacher, was so drunk he could barely speak by three in the morning, and he spent £150 on drinks without even realising it! He's insane, I swear. Mr Read, my psychology teacher, went around kissing everybody. He was really that drunk. X3

Two: As for writing, I can't wait to start the third novel in my trilogy. My MC actually has a name now (Minerva), and a backstory. And a surrogate daughter. Whodathunkit? =3 I'm at 124 with Medina's novel currently, and I think about another 10-20k max will finish her off. Then I'm all set for a summer of writing! :D

Three: JORDANA IS COMING TO STAY WITH ME HERE IN ENGLAND! Holy hell! I'm so psyched. The person I've been talking to, and who has been my muse for the last five years, is finally coming to England! We've got so much awesome stuff planned for the two weeks that she'll be here, such as a massive belated 18th birthday party for my step brother Isaac and me (it's a masquerade ball!); taking her to a theme park just after she arrives; taking her around where I live; and, finally, this leads me onto my last tanget: We're going to London to see The Phantom of the Opera!

Four: YES! That is indeed another musical I will be able to cross off my list! I'm super excited about it, as it's taken me a while to get my courage up to spend more money on another show (especially after I spent so much on going to see Kerry's last show in Wicked - more on that in a minute...). But the idea of Jor coming to England, and going to London, prompted me to ask her if she'd like to see a show. Of course she said yes. I'm very excited about it. Seats in row O of the stalls. I've no idea how good they are, but at this point I don't really care.

Five: Kerry's last show at Wicked. What can I say about that? Oh, my, god. Only that it was perhaps the best day of my life. Alisha, Becky and I went down to London on the coach on the morning, and spent the whole morning and most of the afternoon doing whatever we wanted in London. We went to Baker Street, and went into the Sherlock Holmes museum there - which was AWESOME - and then we went shopping for a little while. We went to Hamley's again, explored the whole store, and then stopped for a coffee. Then, we went to see Wicked. Again, I don't really have any words to describe how awesome it was. I mean, I've seen the show before, but this was just... Amazing.

Kerry's performance was stunning (I can think of no other word) and you could truly tell it was her last show. She really seemed like she was enjoying it, and whenever she came onto the stage or started or finished a song the audience went completely wild. There were some really hardcore fans there, too, all painted green and stuff which was amazingly funny to see. It was a heartbreaking moment when Kerry said "For the last time, I feel truly Wicked." All of the Wicked fans were crying because of that, because it really hit home then that she wouldn't be coming back. It was really sad. D: And then, there was interaction between actors that you don't usually see - usually it's hidden behind a mask of character, a face that they must put on whether they're feeling the music today or not. On Kerry's last show, the whole cast seemed to be in a strange combination of mourning and celebration. A celebration of Kerry (and other leaving cast members) time in the show, and how it had affected them, but a simple mourning for the show without them.

Oliver seemed so upset during As Long As You're Mine, he held Kerry so tightly in his hug that I'm sure she must have been struggling to breathe. They clung to each other, and then with plenty of teary-eyed smiles and characterised speech, they were on with the show. Dianne, on the other hand, had a little more of a hard time keeping herself together. During the duet For Good, and during the finale, she was crying so hard that she could barely keep herself upright, and had to walk the long way around the stage to make sure she was presentable for the final scene with her and Madam Morrible. It really added to the effect that the show is trying to portray at the end, and I have to say it really was the best I have ever seen.

At the end of the show there was a thank you speech, mostly spoken by Dianne who said goodbye to all the leaving cast members, and gave Kerry a big personal thank you. There were many tears here, from actors and fans alike, and it really was a moving moment. Dianne professed that Kerry had been a great friend since the beginning, when she joined the show in London two years ago, and in her own speech Kerry thanked Dianne for being so great, and for really helping her get into the role (I get the impression her first partner as Glinda wasn't so good... XD). It was a sad thought that she wouldn't be performing with this people again any time soon, since she'd performed with them pretty much every day for three years. :O

She thanked her fans, too, which was a real sweet touch. Somebody in the audience screamed out "Kerry! I love you!" And in the middle of her speech, she stopped, laughed, found them in the crowd with her eyes and replied with a not particularly hesistant "I love you too". XD It was amazing to see such willing interaction. She said that she couldn't look at Diane, or else she would cry. :P

And, guess who was in the audience? BRIAN MAY. He was sat so close to me, I could see his freaking HAIR (though you'd have to try pretty hard to miss it XDD). It was altogether an awesome experience - though I've probably gone on for far too long about it.... >_> Oh well.

You know my fangirlish is Wicked-related. :3

So, here's my updated list of shows. Hopefully I'll keep this blog more alive once the exams are over:

Wicked (4)*
We Will Rock You (1)
Mamma Mia
Chicago
Phantom of the Opera
Les Miserables
Avenue Q
Lion King
The Sound of Music
Blood Brothers
Oliver!
La Cage Aux Folles
Grease
Hairspray
39 Steps

Six: Finally, I'd like to throw a big hug out there to my boyfriend. He's a writer too, and has made me realise over the last three months that being single isn't so great after all. <3

I think it's time to go to bed, now. Really, I do. I promise to keep this place more up to date from now, though. Especially once I go to university. I don't want to miss out on getting down all these awesome memories. <3>

Toodles!
xx

28th February

Guilty guilty guilty. Again. XD Apologies, as usual. I've been very busy.

But I have good news! I'm writing again! Medina's novel is coming along - with a fair amount of difficulty, but that's only to be expected - and I'm set to hit my goal of finishing the novel sometime in May. I hope I can get it done before then because I'd quite like to have all of April to revise for my exams, but if worst comes to worst the latest I'll probably finish it is sometime in June. It feels good to be working again. I don't feel anywhere near so lazy as I have done recently.

Since starting writing again I've written something like 12.7k, which I'm extremely proud of for saying I didn't write a thing on this novel for four months. Hell, I didn't write ANYTHING for three months... So, this progress is fantastic progress. I'm hoping I can speed up again eventually, but I think getting back into things slowly is probably the best way for me to deal with things when I'm having so much trouble. On the other hand, writing slowly ensures that I can take into account a lot of the feedback I've had recently (not a LOT of feedback, but it's stuff that has been pretty hard-hitting, and made my question my ability to write quite severely and made me incredibly shy about putting pen to paper, or words on a screen), and I actually like a lot of what I've written in the past few days. I like my description, though I'll admit that my scene transitions are not perhaps the smoothest scene transitions ever written. XD

Whatever. Writing is writing, right? :D

And here's a lovely big extract to celebrate my final blog-return-ness. :)
Spoiler alert!

“Shit,” Miaan swore, even more loudly this time. Medina felt her heart drop to her stomach, so fast and hard she thought she might faint from impact. “I found her.”

“Neon?” she asked faintly. Ellette rubbed the small of her back absently, the water running in rivulets under her clothing, and craned her neck.

“You found Neon?”

“I found her. It’s - shit - it’s not good.” His voice became muffled as there was an explosive clatter coming from inside the room. Ellette winced and Medina felt the younger girl’s whole body grow tense with the movement.

“Is she - is she okay?” Ellette asked, her voice echoing out through the rain.

“No.” Miaan said nothing else, only came out from the bedroom, his face looking suddenly drawn and much older than it should. Through the heavy dashing lines of water from the sky Medina could just make out the faint marks of tears on his cheeks, and his voice seemed closed with emotion.

All Medina could think was that she could have stopped it. Whatever had happened, she had been there and she could have prevented it. Instead she had run away. How many more times was she just going to run away when things got difficult? How long would it take her to learn the damage that she could cause?

Her legs grew weaker, her vision blurring. It was her fault.

“She’s not okay?” Ellette’s voice was shaky, but definitely stronger than Medina felt.

“No,” Miaan answered. “She’s not okay. She’s dead. They broke her neck; killed her.”

“I told you,” Medina murmured. They moved out of the rain, away from Neon and back towards the kitchen where the lights were brighter and everything seemed much more surreal. “I was sure that something was wrong, and I did nothing. I didn’t do anything.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ellette started, but Medina wasn’t listening.

“I could have stopped it but I didn’t. I could have done anything, but I didn’t...”

“Medina, listen to me, you’ve not done anything wrong.” Ellette stopped in the centre of the hallway, careless of the broken glass she was now standing on. “Look at me Dee. Look at me.” Medina avoided her gaze, but Ellette drew her face back with the steady guidance of a hand under her chin. “You did nothing-”

“I did nothing. But I know who did. I know who did this.” Her eyes became glazed, her face unfocused. Then, she narrowed her eyes and frowned, her spiky features shifting menacingly.

“You do?”

“Yes, and I’m damn well going to make sure that they pay for what they did to her.”

Mrs. Whitbeck's Daughter - a prompt exercise

A writing prompt. Something new. I think I like it.

Mrs. Whitbeck’s Daughter

They had been her sister’s shoes - the little white sandals with the sunflower buckles, and fresh, un-pulled velcro fastenings - but they are Germaine’s now. She can recall how jealous she had been when her mother had brought them home, in a gift-wrapped box with a pink ribbon. The ribbon was the colour of the lining of the shoes, and immediately Germaine had wished that she could have them, even if just to touch. Sally had worn them everywhere, even to bed on that first night, and for weeks would only take them off for the special things. A walk on the beach, for example, was a special thing. But Sally was a sister too nice to be jealous of for long, and she had let Germaine wear the shoes too - just to try them on. They were too big, the straps dwarfing her four-year-old feet, and she had felt silly. Germaine remembers this now, the feeling of her feet sliding against the soft interior of the shoes, her toes barely even poking from the end.

Now the shoes sit beside her, dirty and worn on the soft, yellow sand. Sunlight plays across them, highlighting the little sunflowers - now no bigger than Germaine’s right thumb nail. She watches as a breeze stirs in the air above, and the sand jumps as if in protest. She watches in the distance as waves roll onto the shore, repeating the same motion of calmness, time after time. She does feel calm now that she is out here. Her mother is at home, cooking, or cleaning, or making herself busy and flustered. Germaine does not like the atmosphere of the house any more, not without Sally. It seems too warm in there, sometimes, stuffy and like she can’t breathe. The beach is the only place where she can come to breathe.

The air is cool and nice on her face, which she turns skyward, letting the sunlight wash over her like a warm hand, a touch of gold and angel-light. Sally used to love the beach, used to take the shoes off - as Germaine has done now - and paddle in the ocean, holding her dress with one hand and waving frantically with the other. Germaine had always watched, always followed the motions, said the words and looked after the shoes. That was how things worked.

Now there is nobody to watch, and Germaine is lonely. There are only the shoes, and the empty beach, and the rolling surf. There is the breeze, but that is not a person, not somebody she can talk to, and the sunlight. There is sand she can touch, feels cool beneath her fingers, but even this reminds her of her sister.

Everything reminds her of Sally. Especially the shoes. She thought that by bringing them here, putting them back on the beach and waiting, she might be able to think without the sadness. There is always sadness. When her mother laughs at home, at something trivial that Germaine has done, there is a beautiful explosion of glitter, and light and noise, and then she covers her mouth suddenly, as if remembering that Sally is dead, and that she should be sad. Germaine thinks that this is contagious, because now nothing is funny.

The shoes aren’t as pretty as she remembers. They’re not as clean, or as cute, and they are too small for her now. Even too small for her. She pulls her knees to her chest and stares out into the distance, the blue and gold view blurring into a hazy line of white dots of light through her eyelashes. She can hear a bird, somewhere, and some children playing on the other side of the bank, but here the beach is empty.

No, not empty. There is Germaine, and there are the shoes.

And there is Sally.

Germaine does not need the beach to see Sally; she does not even need the shoes. Sally is there, she has been told, in spirit, and now she can feel her. With each gentle brush of the wind against her face there is Sally’s hand, and Sally’s laughter, and with the soft sand beneath her feet there is the comfort that her sister had to offer. Even in the sea, way out in the blue, Sally is swimming, smiling. Germaine does not need the shoes, and perhaps this is the realisation that she was looking for when she came to the beach.

She will leave them here, for somebody else to find and to love, and then she will go home to Mother. Because six-year-old girls do not run off to the beach by themselves without good reason. She had a reason, and now she will leave. Mother will be angry, no doubt, but Germaine doesn’t care. This is what Sally would have wanted: she is sure. There is still the sadness, but Germaine thinks that this is okay. It won’t last forever.

Climbing to her feet, brushing the sand from her white summer frock, she looks out to the ocean again, smiling, and waving to an imaginary sister swimming in the water. And, bare feet padding on the cool earth underfoot, she begins to make her way home. Breathing.

3rd February

:DDDDDDD

...

Kitty has the flu. *emo*
And is still at school. Goodness knows why.

1st February

I feel guilty. :(

I haven't updated in daaaaaaaaays. Weeeeks. Almost a month. (Well, not quite, but you know...)

I suppose it's because I see that there's very little to write about when all I do every day is the same pattern over and over again. It's sad, really, because I'd like to get some variation in there, but I generally don't have the time. The most exciting stuff that has occurred recently is the hair cut I got on Thursday, and the 18th birthday parties I've been to on the last couple of Saturdays. I also got my eyes tested again on Friday, and they've told me that my eyes aren't as good as they were a year and a half ago and that I need new glasses - and in truth, I already knew all of that anyway.

I spend all of my time working for school, or thinking how I should be working for school (like now), or sleeping. I spent about a third of my time sleeping. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm always tired. Perhaps I just need to stress less. - Actually, I'm trying that, and it's working to a certain extent. It's difficult not to stress though, because there's just so much to stress about.

Like exams. I had my psychology exam on January 21st, which actually went pretty well, but there was so much to learn for the exam itself that I found myself just eating, sleeping and breathing psychology for a few weeks. Now it's over, I'm really really glad, but now we're back into the full-time balance of three subjects again.

I got accepted into East Anglia University for English Literature (they didn't want me on the creative writing course, but they offered me a place on the straight Lit course, with creative writing modules, so I don't mind too much) and so I'm just going to sit around until March, when I get my exam results for General Studies and Psychology, and then I'm going to reply to the universities and let them know about my choices. It'll most likely be East Anglia as both first and second choice - English Lit being my first choice, followed by American Literature with creative writing as my backup. The other universities are nice, I'm sure, but they don't appeal to me as much as UEA does. I really want to end up there.

Speaking of English Literature, I got the first draft of my coursework back this week, which was a comparison of the presentation of the protagonists' conflict with society in The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath), and The Bluest Eye (Tony Morrison). Mrs Archer had previously look at the essay and told me that at least a couple of paragraphs were written at undergraduate level (a great complement), and then when I got back the full marked version I was told that she was lost for words (which NEVER happens). Even without any changes she marked me at having full marks on the assignment, which like... rarely ever happens. I was absolutely ecstatic. It made me really look forward to next year, especially if university is going to be as enjoyable as that coursework was. :)

I'm going to miss home though. D:

Anyway, dinner time now. And then I have English homework to complete, unfortunately.

Toodles.

xoxoxox

12th January

Now playing: Vanessa Carlton - Heroes and Thieves

I'm blinded by these Heroes and Thieves at my door, and I can't seem to tell them apart anymore. Just when I figured it out; darling it's you I'm without. Well I'm stubborn and wrong, but at least I know it. I keep movin' along, and hope I can get through this

So, it's time for some writing. I haven't really done much recently, and tonight when I stumbled across a website full of six-word-long stories I decided to have a go at some for myself. they're great fun, and a decent way to just write whatever comes to mind, making it fit the six word framework.

Here are some of the ones I wrote tonight, for better or worse, posted live:

1. When she awoke, she saw him.

2. Don’t you know I miss you?

3. I don’t know you any more.

4. This is the best of me.

5. I can’t find you. Reach out?

6. I need you to need me.

7. A flicker of light behind you.

8. Give me time. I need it.

9. I think I lost something. Help?

10. Do you know I hate you?

11. A shot in the dark. Bang.

12. Pianos and prostitues line the streets.

You should try some yourself. It would make me happy if my blog comments were full of six-word stories? Anybody?

You know you want to.
:O

xoxox

... I'm without your comforting logic like, these days are the ones I'll miss, and I seek a solitude that I can't find without you

10th January

Exams, Romeo & Juliet and current news here we go! :D

So, I know my updates aren't particularly close together any more, but give the small amount of time I have to myself to actually write these updates, I think it's amazing that I'm even updating at all.

So, anyway, in one of my last updates I think I mentioned that I was going to see Romeo and Juliet performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford, and that went ahead on Thursday night, so I can update about it here. Firstly, though, Thursday was also the day of my first General Studies exams (one and two, both an hour and fifteen minutes long - so we were under exam conditions for two and a half hours). They had to move the exam forward for half an hour so that we could sit the exam before going on the trip to see R&J performed (because there were a lot of sixth formers on the trip), so we started at 1:30 and finished at 4pm. The exam was easier than I thought it would be, but that doesn't make Monday look good - they'll probably make it harder just to spite us, and that's the Maths and Science paper. Oops.

Anyway, as soon as the exam had finished we all had to rush out to our coach, and then travel to Startford. The show was due to start at 7:15, and we got there at 6:45, so we had plenty of time to wander around Stratford town. We (Sarah, Becky, Georgie and Hannah) went into Sainsbury's, bought some sweets and chocolate brownies, and then headed to the theatre. We were in the Courtyard Theatre because both the Swan and the other one are undergoing renovation at the moment. It's a nice theatre, though.

We arrived there at about 6:30, and so wandered around the gift shop for the rest of the time. I bought a pencil which says "2B or not 2B" on the side - I thought it was rather funny - and a programme. Then, when the teachers started to arrive we went and stood outside. There was a momentary panic when we realised that the teacher who had our tickets had not yet arrived (and this was literally two minutes before the show was due to start), but she arrived just in time, gave us our tickets and we went into the theatre. Sarah, Becky, Georgie, Hannah and I had seats in the stalls, on row C. We were so close to the stage (one of the round horse-shoe type traditional Shakespearian stages) we could see the actors really well. Some of the drama students were up in the circle, which looked pretty cool too.



The show was awesome. Romeo could have cried for England; the way he could turn his tears on and off was pretty damn awesome, and the setting was 1940's, so all the costumes were pretty damn sweet. All sombre colours, red lipstick and neat hair, haha. Benvolio was damn hot. I seemed to be the only one who found the dirty jokes funny - possibly because I was the only one to understand them - and a great source of amusement all night was the fact that the actors were spitting like camels. XD Because of the lighting, and the fact that they didn't have microphones and so had to talk really loudly, meant that you could really see the fact that the actors were all spitting at each other. In fact, one actor even managed to spit when he wasn't talking! It was pretty damn hilarious, especially when Romeo could be seen to fire this great GOB of spit into the air. We could see it on the stage for ages afterwards.

Mercutio was fantastic, and we were all GUTTED when he died. Peter, the comedian of the show, was adorable. I loved him, especially when he burst into great sobs. It was so exaggerated, it was awesome. Romeo was good, but he didn't show too much emotion in his eyes. Juliet was alright, though the death scene was over a little too quickly for my taste, and she wasn't really that dramatic. Bah, I loved the whole show.

It was clever, as well, how they did the whole show with such limited props. Basically, all they had was a bed which they wheeled on for Juliet's bedroom scenes (and which they walled off with a cage-like thing for the death scene in the mausoleum), some knives, some bar stools and the costumes. Very clever. :)

Afterwards, we swiped some of the confetti from the stage (like the geeks we are) and went to go and stand outside. We were all buzzing, but we got even more excited when we saw Benvolio (Daniel Percival) cutting through the crowd. Like the crazy fan girls we are we squealed, and ran after him. We managed to get him to stop, and then we got him to sign our programmes. Omg. It was EPIC. XD Two teachers caught up with us asked "Why have you stopped?" saw Daniel and were like "Ooooh, okay. We'll meet you at the coach". LOL. It was wonderful.

We then headed back to the coach, still buzzing with excitement, and headed home. We didn't get back home until about half twelve, so at school yesterday I was practically dead. Never mind, though, it was worth it.

Annnnyway. Other news...

OMG YEAH. Tonight I booked tickets for Wicked again. I'm going with my sister and Becky on May 9th, for the 7:30 performance. You know what that means? :OOOO

I'LL BE THERE FOR KERRY'S LAST SHOW! Holy shit, it's going to be awesome. We'll go down to London in the morning, shop during the day and then see the show. I reckon it'll be pretty cool. Especially because Becky hasn't seen Wicked before - I'm not even sure if she's been to the West End before... I'm already looking forward to it.

Also, because I feel guilty about not blogging about writing for a while, I've been getting some really good feedback from somebody on FictionPress. I started writing a new story randomly (something I can just write on for the shits and giggles while doing exams) where I'm rewriting the story of Sleeping Beauty, and this person really liked it. Since they read that they've been giving me really positive feedback on a lot of my pieces of work that are posted on there, so I'm pretty pleased with that.

Other than that, I have little to report. Exams are taking over my life, as they do twice a year, so I'd better go and do some revision, since other than buy birthday presents and spend three hours playing pool with Alex, Joe and her friends today, I haven't done anything productive - and I've done nothing to do with school... >_>;

3rd January & We Will Rock You update

Pretty damn awesome show. I knew I was going to enjoy it, and I did. Very much so. I have to confess that Wicked is still definitely my favourite musical (not hard when I've only ever seen two musicals live, but whatever) but WWRY was still pretty damn awesome. I took a picture of the theatre (and a picture of us ouside the theatre, but we won't go there because I'm way too ugly to be on the internet).


I also have a picture of the Wicked theatre I feel the need to upload finally.... >_>


Anyway! On to the update about the day. :D

We started our day quite early today, but it wasn't early enough that it was painful. Up at eight, leave the house for half nine ready for a 10:18 train from the midlands to St. Pancras in London. We had first class tickets, everything was incredibly smooth-going, and we ended up in London direct on time at 12:05.

From St. Pancras train station we slid through the tube part, got on the Picadilly line and headed for like... the second stop along, and then from there on the District line to Tottenham Court Rd., where the Dominion theatre is located. We arrived there at perhaps 12:30, and after some wandering around Tottenham Court Road we finally decided that we were going to eat at Burger King, opposite the theatre. How original. We couldn't pick up our tickets until an hour before the performance (which started at 2:30), so we didn't have much else to do. So, we ate. XD

Then to the theatre, where my sister and I bought programmes for the show and glow sticks for the finale. We fought over the blue ones, and then headed into the theatre, where we found our seats. We had seats Z 26-30, and they were actually pretty awesome seats. They were about three or four rows from the back, right in the centre of the theatre (I was on the end of the row, which was great). We could see the whole stage, and there were actually no other people in front of us for the next four rows so we didn't have any tall people in front of us. Being as short as I am, that can get incredibly annoying... We could have moved forward a couple of rows, but we were actually very comfortable where we were, so we stayed in our assigned seats, haha.

The performance was wonderful, I have to say. The woman who played Scaramouche (Sabrina Aloueche) was very good - I was actually worried about her, since Scara seems like quite a challenging role to play - and I was particularly impressed by the Killer Queen (Mazz Murray) whose songs were almost flawless and whose voice was like a powerhouse. She had a lot of raw energy in what she sung, and she was great with the quirky sex jokes. Sabrina, I have to say, pulled off the sarcastic Scaramouche very well. I also enjoyed the performance displayed by both Khashoggi (Alex Bourne) who did very well as the smarmy-I-wear-sunglasses-inside-control-dude, and Meat - who was originally played by Kerry Ellis. Meat was actually played by Rachel Tucker who made it to the semi-finals of I'd Do Anything on BBC, and who was Mum's original favourite to win. XD With her following Kerry I was a little worried about her performance of No One But You, but she performed it very VERY well, and her costume was super cool. x3

I think what made the performance even more memorable, though, was the fact that they had a few technical difficulties with Britney Spears' microphone. The poor guy playing Brit (I think it was Ian Carlyle) had problems getting his face-mic thing to work, and so his first song/words were a little shaky. One of the techies had to come across stage, hand him a microphone as he went, and then when Brit went to sing into THAT one, it also didn't work. XD Second microphone later, he was there on stage trying to perform 'karate' moves, dance AND sing all the while holding a hand-held microphone. The other leads on stage at the time were really trying not to laugh. The audience found it hilarious.

What the cast got at the end of the show was what I'd call a half-theatre standing ovation. There were a few very enthusiastic fans at the front who were on their feet well before the finale, and a few kids behind us doing the same, and by the end of the show mostly the back half of the room was on their feet. It was a great atmosphere (but I have to say, definitely more of a Rock N' Roll type thing than a magical Wicked type - I guess that's to be expected, duuurrr).

The show finished at around 5:15, and from there we headed back to the tube, and to St. Pancras following the lines we'd followed on the way. We hit a massive queue of people in the station at Tottenham Court Road though, and in one of the tubes we were so packed in like sardines that you couldn't even turn around. It was actually very funny. I loved the atmosphere. XD

And, of course, from there on home. We got back around half eight, and I've been home ever since. I'm tired now, rather sad about my lack of revision (or any kind of studying) over the past few days, and running out of things to talk about. I think we're done here for the day..

Or not!
Here's a list of all the shows I currently want to see. I'll probably bold the ones I've seen once I see them, and put how many times I've seen them, because then I can keep track of everything and I want to one day be able to say I've seen all the shows I really want to see. XD

Wicked (3)*
We Will Rock You (1)
Mamma Mia
Chicago
Phantom of the Opera
Les Miserables
Avenue Q
Lion King
The Sound of Music
Blood Brothers
Oliver!
La Cage Aux Folles
Grease
Hairspray
39 Steps

I also wouldn't mind seeing (if they ever come to the UK):
Urine Town
9 to 5 (a new production!)

Hell I still want to see Wicked again. >_>

Eh. Knowing me I'll probably add more. Even so, my list is looking a little bare of completion at the moment. How sad. I need to get a job so I can afford all of this. =S

Anyway. I think it's bed time. Or something.
G'night.
x

2nd January

Holleeeeeeeyyyyy shiiiiiz.

Fifteen hours until we see We Will Rock You on stage. =D I'm super excited, because I don't really know what to expect. I've seen a good portion of the first half of the musical on Youtube, sure, but that was over the internet which is obviously slightly different, and it also had the original cast (Kerry Ellis included). I've also got a copy of the soundtrack, also with the original cast, and I love what they've done with all the songs - but still. I hardly know anything about the musical. Unlike Wicked (which we all know I know far too much about...) I don't know anything about any of the actors starring in the show right now, nor do I know if anything has changed since the original production. I'm also super excited, because while I have been to see Wicked three times, this is in effect only my second ever West End musical. =O

And we all know how much Kitty likes musicals, eh? Dad says we have good seats, since they were the most expensive ones, and I hope he's right. It would be awesome if we were somewhere in the middle, near the front in the stalls (I know we're in the stalls, but I don't know where abouts yet since we're picking the tickets up on arrival tomorrow), but if it's anything like Wicked even sitting behind a pillar will be awesome.

I really am excited.

Oh! And, because the theatre isn't in Victoria, we also get to go someplace else to see it. I mean, it's not far away, but to go inside another theatre will be pretty damn sweet. Especially since I've only ever seen one West End theatre. And, if I'm right, I think the theatre has got a big statue of Freddie Mercury on the roof thing, which is pretty epic.

A summary of the show from the theatre website:
We Will Rock You is set in the future, on a place once called Earth. Globalisation is complete. Everyone watches the same movies, wears the same clothes, and thinks the same thoughts. A safe, happy Ga Ga world. The Company Computers generate the music and the kids download it. All musical instruments are banned. But resistance is growing. A hero is needed. Is the one who calls himself Galileo that man, and can he help them Break Free...?



See? Looks pretty awesome, huh?

Of course, I love the Wicked theatre (what fan wouldn't? - look, it's all shiny and green, and Elphaba-ised, ish, whatever. Anyway, both theatres are cool.)



but I think this actually sets the scene for the show quite nicely - from what I've heard/seen.

... Whutageek. Talking about THEATRES now? Holy carp, I really am insane. >_o

I think it's time I called it a night. No doubt there will be a fairly extensive update about tomorrow some time soon - there will probably be less to report than last time, since we're going with Dad and Cath, seeing the show and coming home. There'll be none of this hanging out in London business. T_T

Ahem.
Bed time.
Gooooood night.
:)

1st January, 2009

Happy New Year everybody!

Let's make it a good one, right?

Also, I'm going to see We Will Rock You on Saturday, in London, as part of my Christmas gift off dad. I can't wait. :D
Mum got me some truly awesome gifts, but to write a post dedicated to them now would be rude, since I think I've still got something of a hangover. XD

Maybe some other time.
x

17th December & the Wicked Update

I promised I'd write an entry about my day in London, and I figure tonight is the best time to do that. First things first, though, it was quite possibly one of the best days of my life. My sister and I had been looking forward to going to see Wicked again since we went last time in May, and we'd been saving up much of our money so that we could go again. My sister didn't think that we would go, though, because I told her (quite truthfully) that all of the tickets of the lower price range had gone, and that we simply wouldn't be able to afford it.

I thought that this was honestly the case, and I had almost resigned myself to the fact that we wouldn't be going, when I - on the off chance we might get some money for the cause - asked my Mum if she would mind me taking Alisha all the way to London by myself. It's along journey, and a very big place, and I thought she would say no. I couldn't have been more wrong though, because she actually seemed pretty thrilled by the prospect of us going together, and she said that she would even pay for the show tickets for us (£60 plus p&p each!) on the one condition that she could be there when I told my sister that we were going.

So, on Saturday December 13th, 2008, my sister and I were going to see Wicked, for possibly the final time. When I paid for the coach tickets I made sure we could get there early in the morning, and we would have time after the show too. At 7am on the Saturday morning we arrived at the coach stop for the 7:15am coach to London. It was freezing cold, and pouring it down with rain. The driver let us straight onto the coach because the weather was so bad, and because I'm a wonderful sister I let Alisha have the window seat. We left the coach stop at exactly 7:15 by the coach clock, and after a couple of trips onto the coach by dad to make sure we had all the food we needed for the journey, we settled into the trip nicely. For the first couple of hours Ally and I dozed on and off, because we'd woken up quite early, and at around 10am we made a video on my phone. Our first video of the day.

We arrived in Victoria coach station, London at around 10:30am, earlier than expected, and it was still raining. Since the show didn't start until 2:30pm, we had nothing to do. Originally we'd planned to meet the Wicked cast, and get their autographs, but the weather was so poor that this would have been impossible with only the little umbrella that I had between us, so we went back into the underground station and got ourselves some food. MacDonald's. *eyeroll* I've found that when in London I lose my appetite, though, so I didn't eat much. After that we decided that we had plenty of time, and we decided to get ourselves onto a bus tour of London.

It was about twelve o'clock when we got onto our tour, which was due to last for two hours. Alisha insisted that we sit on the top of the bus, which had a little shield over the top at the front, and the rest was open-air. We sat near the front, so we didn't get wet, but we were still freezing. It was so cold up there I lost all feeling in my feet, fingers, ass and nose. It was awesome, though because we saw a few epic landmarks. However, Alisha began to worry that we were going to be late for the show if we did the whole circuit, so after an hour on the tour we asked the tour guide where the best stop would be to get the underground back to Victoria station, opposite which is the Apollo theatre where Wicked is performed. The tour guide directed us off the bus at Piccadilly Circus, where we walked back towards Oxford Circus, along Regent Street. On the way, we saw Hamley's Toy Shop.

Here we made our second video of the day. Hamley's is the most epic toy store I have ever seen in my life. Not only is it huge, and old, it's lined from floor to ceiling on the bottom floor with stuff toys. Alisha and I went wild, and spent a good fifteen minutes running around the bottom floor. We didn't stay long, though, because we didn't want to miss the show.

A quick underground trip later we were back in Victoria, and ready to see the show. We both bought items from the souvenir shop. I got a new Wicked sweater, and Alisha bought a mug with the Wicked logo on, and then we went to go and sit in our seats. I had been worried that they weren't as good as they could have been, since we had X 3 and 4, near the end of the row on the right side of the theatre. Last time I had been so close to the edge, I'd sat with a pillar in front of my face for the whole show. This time, I'd done well when I bought the tickets, though, because X isn't - as I thought - the third row from the back. It's actually quite far forward, and so we had PRIME seats. We could see the whole stage, and we got some little binoculars to focus up in the faces of the cast. Here we made another video on my phone, showing our seats. I couldn't wait for the show to start, and neither (I think) could Alisha.

The best moment, though, was when the show started. Galinda came hovering down to stage in her giant bubble, and I whispered to Alisha frantically: "It's DIANNE! DIANNE!" since we both love Dianne, and think she's definitely the best Galinda we've ever seen. That was the first moment of excitement. The beginning of the show was flawless, but little did I know it was about to get better. The moment Elphaba came onto stage, I grabbed the binoculars from my sister, and almost cried out in delight. "It's KERRY! IT'S KERRY! KERRY! KERRY! KERRY!" I could hardly contain my excitement. KERRY ELLIS WAS FINALLY PERFORMING. From the moment she said her amazing "Oh, what, do I have something in my TEETH?" to the end of the shown, I had a huge grin plastered across my face. Well, until they performed the sad songs, then I wasn't smiling. XD I spent the whole performance with this fantastic buzzing in my chest, partly to do with the volume of the casts' voices as they sung.

When Fiyero came on, I threw another hissy of excitement whispering "It's OLIVER!" happily as my sister grinned at me. I laughed so hard at points of that show, I don't think I've ever found anything like that so funny before. The show does get better every time you see it.

There were two girls sat behind us who, for one, had bought pretty much the whole gift shop between them, and secondly who were sobbing so hard by the end of the performance it was almost comical. It was their first performance, and it was truly a wonderful one for them to have seen. Kerry Ellis, Dianne Pilkington and Oliver Tompsett all on stage at the same time is enough to make any true Wicked fan happy. <3

After the show, Alisha and I made another video, this time outside of the theatre. It was around half five, and since we'd eaten lunch so early we were really hungry. And, since we didn't have to be back in Victoria to catch the coach home until 9pm we decided we'd head for something to eat. We went back to Regent Street. Here we found a Marks and Spencers (classy, I know), and ate in the dinner hall section. Again I couldn't finish my food, but it didn't matter. I was having so much fun, even the rain couldn't keep my spirits down.

After eating we went shopping, and went into Borders and a few other awesome shops before finding ourselves back at Hamley's. We couldn't resist it, so we decided that we'd give ourselves a limit to how much we could spend, and go in and buy something. We walked out half an hour later with two cute dog plushies between us, which we named London (my doggy) and Fiyero (Alisha's)., and a packet of candy cane sweets with chocolate inside them. After this, we headed back to the coach station to find the departure area, which we were worried about finding.

We got back there an hour early, and sat in the station for a while, making videos, watching our other videos and playing with our toys. >_> What a big kid I am. Seriously.

The coach arrived on time, and we got on it at quarter to nine, leaving at 9pm sharp. On the way back we attempted to make a final video, but by this time we were tired, and my phone was running out of battery, so we left it half finished, and fell to sleep. By the time we got home it was midnight, and we were surprisingly tired. By the time we got to sleep it was 1am. It was honestly SUCH an awesome day. I'll never forget it if I can help it. <3

It made me realise, though, just how independent I can be. I was worried about taking Alisha in case something went wrong, but everything went off perfectly, and we avoided any disasters carefully and easily. It was wonderful, and if I could get the money, and better weather, I'd do it again in a heartbeat, this time seeing more on the bus tour. :D

The sad thing is, the point Alisha remembers best about the whole day was that on the way back to the coach station we saw a man pissing up a wall. XD What a wonderfully disturbed child she is. :B


-- There. I told you I'd update. sorry it's long, but it was so cool it deserves a long entry. Aren't you glad I didn't update about my WEEKEND in London? Goodness, we'd have been here for WEEKS.

As for today, it's been a pretty awesome day. Penultimate day before Christmas break, we had coffee and tea and croissants and chocolats in Mr Summers' English Lit class, successfully stalling him for two hours and planning an essay rather than writing one. Matt baked a chocolate cake - a huge one - and it was ferking WICKED. Seriously.

Tomorrow I have a mini Christmas party in Psychology with Mr. Read, and he's taking photos of us to put on his wall. I wonder if I should curl my hair or not... I don't know. If I can get up early enough I guess I just might try it. That photo will be on the wall for a whole year. It has to be good. O_O

And then I have two weeks off for Christmas, New Year, and to revise for my Psychology and General Studies exams that are coming up in January. I hate exames. >_o

Anyway. Bed time. Tooooodles.
xoxoxox

16th December

A Wicked update to come! When I have the energy. D:

12th December

HOLY HELL.

WICKED TOMORROW!!

*hyperventilation*
Omgomgomg. XD I'm very very excited, and also rather nervous. The prospect of dragging an eleven year old around London doesn't really excite me as much as the prospect of seeing Wicked again does. Hopefully everything will go smoothly, and on Sunday you'll have a good full blog full of fun and hyper stuff. I'm still hoping Kerry Ellis will be performing. I'm hoping even more than we get to meet her outside the stage door, and that we might be able to get photos, and autographs. *collapses* But even if she's not there, it'll be an awesome performance. It has to be. It always is. :P

And now, it's the time where I go to bed because I need a full eight hours sleep if I'm going to have a good day tomorrow. It'll be a long day. >_>

WICKED IN EIGHTEEN HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. OMGGGGG.
<33

4th December

Man do I suck. >_o

Hazel's birthday party on Tuesday, was great fun. Last night... I don't think I have an excuse for not posting. I spent my time at the University of Nottingham last night, though, doing some kind revision and catch up session. Maybe I'll blog properly tonight. :D

1st December

Now playing: Kristin Chenoweth - Because He Lives

Goodness, it's so depressing that it's actually December. -_-' I hate this post-NaNo depression. I don't know what to do with myself. I have time on my hands, nothing to fill it, and no desire to find something else to fill it except writing. I've found a way to avoid doing things for a month, and I don't want to start doing them again, and so I have all of that free time as well. Plus, (not that I'm complaining) my homework levels have been lower recently to allow for revision time.

I guess I am trying to get back into the academic swing of things, though, because I started my psychology revision today, for my exam in January. I have an exam for three topics, and so I started making my revision cards for one of those three topics. Sadly, it took me an hour to make cards for just ONE little booklet of notes. Basically, I'm screwed. *eye roll* Oh well, what else is new?

We put our Christmas tree up today. It's epic awesome. We're also setting up our BlueRay DVD player, so I look forward to watching Mamma Mia (I hear it's awesome =O) on BlueRay on it tomorrow, with Mum. :]

I started reading a little of Black Hour today, and was actually pleasantly surprised by the quality of Medina's third person narrative. Perhaps I'm not so bad at it as I thought, though it's not perfect by any means. I guess I'll just have to put up with it, though, because I refuse to make any major overhauls, I'll just highlight any big issues and otherwise read it as I would read a normal novel (with more awkward stumbling and grimacing, that is). I'm getting Steve to print it out for me when he has the chance, and from then I'll have something more to fill my time while I'm not revising. And then, after the exams in January (and a little bit in between now and then) I can get back in Medina's novel and finish it (hopefully) before the summer exams. :D

Right. It's 11pm, and that means it's time for bed. Late for a normal night, but I'm still recovering from my NaNo sleep schedule. @_@; I can't wait to get back to my early nights. That'll be another way to eliminate all that extra time I seem to have accumulated this last month. :)

So night all.
x

30th November

DONE!!

Holy crap. This month has been a long one. A really long one. And yet, oh so short. I can't believe it's over already, and it's time to return to the normal world of less-than-deathly amounts of caffeine, sleep and effective homework completion. Damnit. I want to go back to my novelling bliss. Please?

The novel is finished, all 116,697 words of it, and I don't think I'm ever going to touch it again, apart from to post it on the internet (with just basic spell check and formatting). I don't think I want to edit it, because although I loved the characters, and the story, I doubt anybody would really want to read it, and to be honest I wouldn't even know where to begin. It's been tough to write, and somehow I think it would be even tougher to edit. Don't even go there. @_@;

Anyway. Today, then, is my relaxation day. Apart from homework, I shall do nothing but watch TV, go for a walk, go out for dinner and enjoy myself. Though, having finished my novel at precisely eleven minutes past one this afternoon, I've had nothing to do since. I'm almost bored. O_O

Well, it's time for that walk I mentioned, where I can mull over what's happened this month, and then think about going back to work on Medina's novel- which I can't do until I print out all of the 80,000 words I have so far to familiarise myself with the story again. So, I'll leave you all with an excerpt, and go. :)

“I’m not joking, darling,” she said. “I wish I were. Mary says that there’s a two week window between finding out the unfinished business and solving it, or I’ll end up in limbo forever. And the worst bit about that is that I won’t be able to phone you. Limbo after the two week period becomes like-” There was a muffled voice as Mary clarified. “It becomes like prison, in hell. With torture. Lots of torture.” Her voice was weak.

“So I need to go to Eula and track down the next of kin of Florence Blouse to get your money back, in two weeks, or else you’ll be damned for all eternity? Literally?”

“That just about sums it up.”

I couldn’t believe it.

“Look, honey, I have to go. My minutes have run for the month-”

“But you didn’t tell me her name, or anything-”

“I have go hon, toodles!”

There was a crackle, and the line went dead. I swore loudly, threw the phone onto the floor and watched as it bounced on the hardwood floor. Danger shrugged.

“What was that all about?”

“My Mum,” I said bitterly. There was no way around this. Whatever higher being there was up there obviously just didn’t want me to rest. Ever. “Hey, Danger,” I said. “Fancy another journey?”

“To Eula?”

“Yes. To finish my mother’s unfinished business.”

Danger thought about this for a minute, and then pulled out her mobile phone. “Sure, why not? It’s not like I’d ever be able to relax in this place again, anyway. Shall I call the crew?”

“Sure. Call the crew. Tell them to pack their shorts and tees. It’ll be hot where we’re going.”

“Road trip?”

“No, just tell them we’re going on vacation, and I’m paying.”

Danger smirked at me and then offered her hand up for a high-five. And then, “Kez? It’s me. Danger. Fancy going on holiday? Eula? Right. Gather the crew. We’ll leave at five.”

I should have known that things wouldn’t get easier. What did I expect? I was a Candy Girl. Since when do things ever work out as planned?

Words written today: 2,525.
Word count: 116,697.

29th November

So, the novel isn't finished. That last chapter took a lot more work than I'd planned. I am, however, set to write the epilogues tomorrow, just in time to finish NaNoWriMo 2008 with a finished novel. It makes me happy.

For now, though, it's 2:30am and I have more important things to be doing. Like sleeping.

Excerpt: [spoiler alert! XD]

“For god’s sake Olive, can’t you keep yourself under control?” Rouge snapped. “What the hell are you laughing at?”

“I was just- they were- look!” She pointed, then, noticing Cassidy on the floor. Suddenly Cassidy wasn’t laughing, in fact, she was scrambling to her feet, still holding a number of wires in her hands that had been trailing along the floor, clutching at them for some support. My heart lept and I felt my hands grow cold in panic.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rouge turned on her. “I told you to get out of here. Blue, get her out of here! For god’s sake! Can nobody do anything right in this place? If you’d just do as I asked then we’d never have half of these problems. Stop standing there like an idiot and get her out of here!”

Cassidy, though afraid, didn’t flinch as Blue headed towards her. Rouge was still gripping the control box for the electric chairs in her hands, the lever hanging loose as though it had not been fitted carefully enough. Cassidy seemed to be looking at it, and then she spoke, calm and curious.

“What do these wires do?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.

“No, don’t touch those! Put them down!” A sudden change, and was Rouge was waving frantically. Her head still tilted to one side Cassidy brought the wires a little closer together, and watched as Rouge almost had a heart attack.

“What happens if I put them together?” she asked. “Will it reverse the flow of the current?”

“No,” Rouge said quickly. “And besides, the power box isn’t even on.”

And then Cassidy shook her head. “You’re wrong,” she said. “Look, see? You’re careless.”

With that she pressed the two wires together, and before any of us had the chance to react we heard a faint buzzing, and Rouge began to shake uncontrollably. I closed my eyes, clung onto Danger for support, burying my head in her neck. There was a cry of pain, inhuman and terrifying, a thud, and then there was silence.

When I opened my eyes, everybody but Danger had moved further into the chamber, and they were all gathered around the middle, where Rouge had been standing.

“Is she?”

“I think she is.”

“I wonder how...”

“Cassie-”

“But how?”

“Electric currents.”

“Science.”

“Rouge?” Olive’s voice broke our jumbled examining, unsure and scared. “Rouge?”

“She’s dead.” Blue, who had watched the whole scene from afar without much interest, now approached the younger girl and laid a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”

“It’s not okay.” Olive’s face crumpled, and tears sprang to her cheeks. “It’s not, it’s not.”

“It is okay. I’m sure we’ll see her in hell.” For a brother, he didn’t seem particularly grieved by Rouge’s death, but then I assumed that he was in shock. Either that or he didn’t agree with her moral values. But the fact that she had gone to hell; well, that was something we could all agree on.

The shop was ours.

The world was safe.

I couldn’t help but think that it was a little anti-climactic, though.

And Cassidy as Hero? Who’d have thought?

Words written today: 6,760 =O
Word count: 114,193

28th November

Now playing: Tracie Thoms - Let Love Begin

I don't think I even deserve to write a blog today, because I've been rather unproductive, but to be honest I think part of this is due to my usual pre-completion blues. Rather than the rush that a lot of people get from being near to the end of their projects, I get all nostalgic and teary-eyed, and then can't force myself to write. I lose all motivation and have to slug through the end. It's happening again right now, and though I thought I might be finished by today, I think I'll move that date forwards to tomorrow. I have the final chapter to write, and two epilogues (which aren't really that important). I'll do them tomorrow. I promise?

XD

Instead of writing, I spent my evening singing badly and watching videos on YouTube. One, the video of Idina Menzel on This Morning in October, made me laugh too hard. She was talking about her job as a wedding singer before she hit Broadway, and there was one incident where while she was in the middle of singing this guy on the dance floor started having a heart attack. She stopped singing, but her manager urged her on all like "the band never stops playing, don't stop singing! Keep singing!" So, she started singing again and then the bride came up to her and was like "you're so heartless, my uncle is having a heart attack and you're still singing!" and apparently Dee ran straight over to the buffet and started just stuffing her face with eclairs. XD I found that hilarious in itself, but then one of the hosts (I forget his name) was asking her if it happened a lot, if she was like, unlucky and bad things happen to her and whatever, and she said: "What, when I sing do people die?"

I laughed so hard. They also had a discussion about Idina wetting her pants on stage from laughing/singing too hard, and about the time she fell through the trapdoor during Wicked and ended up down A&E with a broken rib dressed in her full Elphaba outfit.

Behehe. That made my day.

Also! The Wicked tickets arrived today! It's such a load off my mind. I CAN'T WAIT. Seriously. I was worried that something might go wrong (mild state of neurosis anybody?) but it's okay. I have all of the tickets, so everything should go smoothly. December 13th! Holy shit! =O

Okay, back on topic. Excerpt (from whatever little I actually wrote):

King nodded. This was getting tedious. I shifted from foot to foot boredly, scanning the four Directors in front of me and then smiling viciously. Queenie glared at me, and Princeton began to quiver, his face contorted with fear. It was a shame really, the fact that I was going to have to kill him, since he had always been so fond of me. I had grown rather attached to the idiot, I have to admit. Perhaps I could be more lenient- No. No, I mustn’t get ahead of myself.

“Darling, can you pass me the bat, please?” I turned over my shoulder and smiled at my brother. He was obviously uncomfortable with being here, even though I had allowed him to wear a mask to hide his identity. I had argued that it wouldn’t matter if they knew who he was, since they were going to be dead soon anyway; the fact that he wasn’t comfortable with the murder in the first place didn’t really help, I guess.

He passed one of the baseball bats to me, sliding it into my hand and then slinking back to the wall where he hunched his shoulders over even further and seemed to disappear into himself. I winked at Antoinette and then sidled over to the table.

“So, shall we get this over with?” I asked. Queenie cringed, but it seemed they had already come to some silence agreement to let me do whatever it was I needed to do. Little did they know that I fully intended to go all the way to death, whether they reacted or not.

They didn’t even put up much of a fight.

Words written today: A lousy 518 words
Word count: 107,551

27th November

Now playing: Eden Espinosa - I'm A Star

I love this song more than is healthy...

Making progress!
Almost there!
Might finish tomorrow, or Saturday. :D

Excerpt:

“Don’t move an inch,” I demanded. “Move and you’re dead.”

“Aren’t we dead anyway?” Jack asked lazily, trying to cover his fear with carelessness. Princeton elbowed him in the ribs, but he didn’t quiten down. “You’re obviously intent on killing us all anyway, so why should we make it easy for you?”

“Easy?” The four of them were currently tied to each other, and to their chairs, around their table. They had been so easy to surprise, I hadn’t even had to knock them out to tie them up. Olive and Blue stood behind me, with an unimpressed-looking Indigo, Antoinette and some nameless drones Blue had picked up from an agency somewhere. We were going to have to have them unconscious to get them to the lair, which we had furnished appropriately, but this was just too much of an opportunity to miss. “I think it’s as easy as it’s going to get, to be perfectly honest, lads- oh, and Queenie? Sorry about your arm. We really did try to make it a little more painful.”

Words written today: 3,397
Word count: 107,033

26th November

Now playing: Shoshana Bean - Home

I know, I know, that blog yesterday was absolutely shocking. But, I don't care. I hit 100k, and I'm pleased. I think this is the earliest I've ever done it, and I think I'll be able to finish the novel this month. No, scratch that, I will definitely be able to finish it. I have one and a half chapters, and then two epilogues to write. And then I'm done. I'm currently writing Rouge's last proper chapter, and it's kind of touching, in a good way and a horrible violent way. XD But, that's just Rouge all over.

And then we have the confrontation between the two MCs. It'll be the first and last time they ever meet. How cool is that? :O AC will wonder what all the fuss is about, and Rouge will wonder what the hell is going on, and why she wasn't informed. =P And then, the epilogues will tie up some random loose ends (well, as much as they can be tied up in NaNo), and that will be the end. If I finish early I might... write something random, maybe work on PaLS for a day to fill up the time, or something. And then I'll print off Medina's novel and get stuck back into that again. But, only relaxedly because I'll have exams to start revising for, and then exams to sit. It's all good though, overall this NaNo has been great. And, I'll hopefully have a finished first draft to show for it as well, which is something I haven't had since the adventure with Merce in 2006.

Get this, my 100,000th word was: ALONE. Baha. Poor AC.

Anyway. I'm tired. So, like, here's an excerpt:

Olive seemed somewhat bewildered, but she nodded her head and smiled. I reached into my pocket and withdrew a small velvet box. I placed it in her palm, and for a moment she just looked at it. Then, wiping the blood from her hands and onto her skirt, she opened it carefully. Inside there was a small silver ring, with three rubies set carefully, sparkling in the dim lights of the lair. Olive sucked in a deep breath, gazed at it for a moment, and then opened her mouth like a fish out of water.

“Oh Rouge,” she breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s red,” I said. It didn’t matter that I was stating the obvious, making a fool of myself. I was in love, and that was the only excuse that I needed. “They’re rubies. To remind you of me. You know, because Rouge means-”

“Red. I know. I learnt French when I was little.” She smirked at me, took the ring from the box and slid it onto the middle finger of her right hand.

Words written over the past two days: 5,103, 3,573.
Word count: 103,636

25th November

100k!!

*collapses*

More coherent blog to come tomorrow.

24th November

Now playing: Les Miserables - On My Own

And now I'm all alone again, nowhere to turn, no one to go to. Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to, but now the night is near, and I can make-believe he's here

Today I feel good about myself. I didn't have any homework, so got in, had a nap and then got on with the writing. 4k later I'm another chapter towards ending this thing. >D It makes me feel good, and so now it's just about bed time. :D I'd write more, but to be honest I don't really feel like rambling, and there's a cat sat on my face, making typing this extremely difficult. It's taken me ten minutes to get this far. =O

Excerpt for the day - here's a bit of not-quite-sex:

“Oh hush, you,” I said, reaching out to slap her bare arm lightly. Even despite the snow that was still falling outside she had chosen to wear a vest top and a skirt short enough that if she bent over I could see her underwear- or lack of it. Not that I was complaining, but the distractions were something I could do without. It was crucial that we managed to pull this off, because otherwise I had no idea how it would all work out in the grand scheme of things. If I could kill the morons, how would I ever get rid of any of them?

“Don’t you like to hear the truth?” Olive said, coming towards me and wrapping her arms around my neck. “Does it make you feel inferior?” Inticingly she let her lips linger on mine for a moment, and then pulled away, bouncing into the centre of the large, square room. I took a second to make sure that our trap was secure, and then jumped after her, grabbing her around the waist and tickling her. She giggled happily, squirming away from my touch, and together we danced around the room laughing loudly.

“Shush, shush,” I said, not really caring whether she listened to me or not. I pulled her close, pressed my lips against her and then let my hands wander down her back. She made a tutting motion, pulling away, and then grinned.

“You’re such a tease!” I cried out, reaching for her. She danced away from my fingertips, sliding this way and that as I reached out after her. Her skirt bobbed as she moved, her hair loose and wild. I wanted to grab her and make love to her right there, but that would be incredibly inappropriate- or, at least, we didn’t have time.

“Oh, I do try,” she sung and then stuck her tongue out.

While she was distracted I lunged for her, and together we tumbled towards the corner of the room. I pinned her to the wall, kissing her deeply and holding her arms high above her head so that her midriff was exposed.

“Oooh,” she taunted as I pulled out of our kiss. “Fiesty. I like that in a woman.”

“You’re too young to know what you like in a woman,” I said jokingly. “You’ve only ever had me and that damn robot. How would you know?”

“Maybe I’ve had more?” she breathed, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her breath mingled with mine- she smelt like peppermints- and I pressed myself closer to her, our bodies entwined against the wall.

“Really?” I asked with a smirk.

“How many more?”

“Oh, hundreds.”

“Were they better than me?”

“Oh yes, every single one of them.”

“Really?” I kissed her again, and then licked her nose. She tried to keep a straight face, but failed miserably and was soon giggling too hard to speak. “Really really?”

“Yes,” she said in between giggles. “They were all, taller. And they had-”

“Longer fingers?” I tickled her thigh underneath her skirt and she doubled up with laughter, almost headbutting me in the chest. I backed up just in time to catch her, and she tumbled against me, still laughing.

“No,” she gasped. “Your fingers are definitely the longest.”


Words written today: 4,038
Word count: 95,233

On my own, pretending he's beside me. All alone, I walk with him 'til morning...

21st, 22nd &23rd November

Here's a nice blog for the last three days, simply because of internet access problems. Actually, that's a lie. Friday night I didn't blog because I fell asleep while still writing, and therefore didn't bother to blog. I was too tired. Yesterday I wrote a nice amount of words (about 5k or something), and today has been another good day as well. I'm making good progress, and should hopefully be able to finish the novel by the end of the month. Maybe. >_> I love Rouge's scenes, especially her scenes with Olive, and I'm looking forward to the next couple of AC scenes, so it shouldn't be too bad.

After a shaky middle two weeks (at least, the poor story has been suffering, and so has my health) I think today has proved that the final week is off to a good start. Not only am I enjoying myself again, I've worked out pretty much everything that I need to include in the novel before the end. I've worked out where both storylines must end, and it's not too bad actualy because there's a similar amount of plot left for each of them. Then, there is the final scene, followed by two epilogues, and then I have to go back and slide in those blogs that I left out (that I was talking about on Saturday), and I'm done! :D

It makes me happy to think about it. And, although there's more plot left than I thought, I'm still getting there, and still hoping that I'll be able to finish it all off in time. :] Then, I can go back to my serious novel (which I'm missing more than I ever thought possible) in time for Christmas and all of the exams. December will be my take-it-easy month, I think. :)

Excerpt time!

“We just have to try harder,” Olive pointed out. “Look, just because it doesn’t work out first time around, it doesn’t mean you should give up.”

“But this isn’t the first time around,” I said quietly. My nose began to grow numb and so I started to walk, taking steps small enough that Olive could keep up. “This is the third time, now, and I’ve killed people before. I’m not bragging, but it’s not as though I’m some idiot who has just decided that they need to die. I’ve been planning this for years, and yet nothing has happened. Both Queenie and King are both still alive. How can that be?”

“Like I said,” Olive repeated. “Fate. You’ve got to give it some time. Perhaps there is some specific way that it’s meant to be done.”

“But maybe it’s not meant to be done.” I folded my arms across my chest and sighed. “What if I’m not meant to kill them? What if I’ve spent my whole life planning for something that shouldn’t ever happen? I’ve always wanted to rule the world, always wanted to be the one in control, but I can barely even control them. I only started planning for their deaths a few weeks ago, sure, partly because of you- don’t ask me about that- but that shouldn’t matter. Each one of these murders was perfectly planned; I spent hours running through all the angles in my head, working out what would work and what wouldn’t. Come on, Queenie even fell out the window. That kind of stuff just doesn’t happen unless a person is going to die.”

“It was the ground floor window,” Olive said with a small smile. “I don’t think she could ever have killed herself doing that.”

“But that’s my point! She didn’t die, and yet she was supposed to. It makes me feel like I should just give up now.”

“If you give up, though,” Olive said as she held out her arm for a taxi. She knew how much I hated public transport, but I only hoped she would be the one paying. “If you give up on all of this, then what will you do? Is there anything else you could do?”

I thought about this for a moment, and didn’t answer until we had climbed out of the cold and into the back of a cab, telling the driver our address.

“I don’t know,” I answered her, making sure my voice was suitably hushed for such a place. “I’ve never wanted anything else. Ever since I was small, ever since Blue and I were little, I’ve always wanted this. I remember this conversation I had. It must have been when Indie was a baby, and Mum had just fired the nanny, or she quit, or something, and Blue told me that I would never be as powerful as our father. You know, he was very powerful. He worked for the government even before The Directors, but he left when Blue was born...

“Blue told me that I could never be like Dad, because I was a girl. He said that because Papa was descended from the Thau that I would never have a chance to be like him. Magic doesn’t travel through the female genes, he said, and he told me that I would have to watch as he ruled the world...” I trailed off, gazing out of the window as the black and white skyscrapers whizzed past. The snow was falling properly now, and soon there would be a thin white blanket along all of the streets. I shivered. “So, I told him that I would prove him wrong. This is what I’ve wanted since before I can remember wanting anything else.”

“Then how can you give it up?” Olive asked me. “If it means so much to you, if you want it so badly, then how can you let something so small ruin everything?”

I shook my head.

“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I guess it’s just because I’m sick and tired of nothing working out right.”


Words written over the last three days: 14,874
Words written today: 6,188
Word count: 91,197

20th November

Now playing: Kerry Ellis - Behind These Walls.

Best. Song. Ever.

Today hasn't been as productive as I'd like, but was better than I'd hoped. XD

Excerpt:

When his grasp on me slackened I yanked away from him, flinging myself towards the door. In my frantic haze I didn’t realise that the door was locked until Fitz had hold of me again; and still I fumbled at the lock, clawing at the wood, unable to understand why the door wouldn’t open.

“Clever of me, wasn’t it?” he hissed in between heavy breaths. “See, I thought you might put up a fight. You’re that kind of person-”

“Screw you,” I spat, spinning and bringing my knee forcefully into his groin. He staggered backwards, unstable on his hind legs, and then crouched onto all fours. This was his first animal display since our arrival, and despite the situation it still shocked me to remember how animal he actually was. Making a run towards the window, I hurled myself over the top of his desk, scattering papers everywhere and almost impaling myself on the end of a fountain pen. Fitz followed, barking and snapping like a feral dog- which, I suppose, was what he was.

“I guess we’re doing this the hard way, then,” he snarled, leaping onto the desk in a fit of rage. From here there was nowhere to go. The window was barred, the shutters flapping wildly in an attempt to remind me of what I was missing. I tried to scream again, but before the sound escaped my lips Fitz had leapt into the air again, and seconds later he landed on me with full force. This time I wasn’t quick enough to dodge him, and we collapsed on the floor together, his full weight pinning me to the carpet.

“Get off me!” I yelled, trying to beat out against him. I let my arms swing wildly, but he met ever blow with one of his own. With surprising dexterity he flipped me onto my back, pinned down my arms and then repeatedly headbutted me in the stomach, winding me so badly I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I let out another few feeble outcries, but these went unheard, ignored.

“You’ll consider my proposition,” Fitz uttered through gritted teeth, pressing onto my arms so tightly his claws engraved patterns in my skin. I wriggled beneath him, but it was no use. He was surprisingly strong, and had easily come to terms with his animal disadvantages.


Words written today: 3,705
Word count: 80,028

19th November

Not bad today, not good. Saw Easy Virtue. It's almost midnight. Too tired to talk.
Better update to come tomorrow.

Excerpt:

“Ah.” Olive shrugged her shoulders. “Was she supposed to fall from a great height?”

I nodded sadly, my head bowed on my neck.

“Was she supposed to die?”

I nodded again.

“Mhmm. Slight problem.”

“Really? You don’t say.”

“She’s not dead.”
"I can see that.”

There was a silence between us as we watched a number of people file out of the rooms across the way from the green where Queenie had landed, and I watched my plans for her death fizzle out with the presentation of a cold compress for her head and an icepack for her badly damaged arm.

How could this have happened? Twice?

“Fuck,” I muttered bitterly, bringing my thumbnail to my mouth in annoyance. “Why won’t she just die?”

Words written today: 2,007
Word count: 76,317

“Maybe we should try somebody else?”

“Aw hell.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Maybe we should.”

18th November

Belated post. :)

Now playing: Scott Alan - The Distance You Have Come

And when that day has come, when you've conquered what's behind you, don't forget the moments that have come before. And when you reach that place, when you're miles from where you started, don't forget the distance you have come

Last night- as my luck always decrees- was my best writing night in days. I actually hit my target of 3k, and didn't die trying. My Internet died instead. We went over our bandwidth for the month (three hours before it was due to start the new month) and so we got cut off. On the plus side, we now have full Internet again and I no longer have to worry so much about the amount of Internet I'm actually using when I sit on Gaia or update my NaNoWriMo word count obsessively. XD Soon Steve should unblock YouTube again, and I'll be able to listen to Kerry Ellis' new song (from the album Keys by Scott Alan) on repeat. I'm SO getting it for Christmas. I don't normally buy CDs, but this I've decided that I'm going to ask for all of those CDs that I really love, just to show my appreciation. So, at the moment that list consists of:

Keys - Scott Alan
Dreaming Wide Awake - Scott Alan
Wicked In Rock - Kerry Ellis
I Stand - Idina Menzel

I'm thinking of adding another Kristin Chenoweth CD because I like the other one of hers that I bought a few months back. And, as for DVDs I've been pretty sad and asked for Tin Man (because we had it recorded from Sky, but somebody deleted it off our Sky box), Les Mis 10th anniversary show (because I just really wanna see the damn thing), Stranger Than Fiction, and a special edition of The Wizard of Oz, because I know when I go to uni I'm not going to be able to take a video with me; I won't likely have a VCR. A DVD player on the other hand, well, I'm typing on one right now. ;)

Anyway. Enough about Christmas, and Kerry Ellis, and the Wizard of Oz. I'll leave you with another excerpt from the wonderful world of Exos, where my story is getting stranger and stranger by the day:

“Is she actually drunk?” he asked me. Spinning on his backside he shuffled to look me directly in the eyes where I was still crouched next to him. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” I answered. “Look, we’re really sorry we ran you down-”

“I’m afraid that a simple apology isn’t likely to cover it.” He pulled a disgusted face at my appearance, and then looked back at the trailer behind us. “I could have been killed- maimed- in an accident like this, and you wouldn’t believe for a second how much of a problem that would have been. As it is I think I’ve sprained my leg, and you shan’t get away with it. You- all of you- how many of you are there? - You will look after me until I have made a full recovery. First you will deliver me to my house and then you will wait-”

“I don’t think so,” I said, shaking my head sadly. “In case you hadn’t gathered, we’re in a bit of a hurry.”

“I don’t think you quite understand the severity of this situation, Miss.”

“No, let me make it simple for you: We need to get where we’re going, and we need to get there fast. Does that make sense? We need to get there, because there are lives that are at stake, and we’ve come too far to give up now.”

“If you do not come with me, then I shall report you for such reckless driving, and you shall have your vehicle taken from you. I can assure you now that listening to me would be your best course of action.” With an icy level gaze he took in our reactions. Eden was still snorting to herself, and Vivienne had poked her head around the door in time to here this last roll of speech. She cast a confused glance around, and then shook her head.


Also, worrying as it is, Rouge has been getting it on with Olive. This was... not planned? In fact, Olive as a character was never planned. Rouge sleeping with her brother was, and Rouge sleeping with Antoinette I can handle, but Rouge getting very close to having sex with Olive in an air duct while spying on government leader Queenie? It makes me faint just thinking about it. I knew I had to have a little bit of sex, but this is just ridiculous. Even said in Rouge's own words: "Olive’s kiss was rough and took me by surprise. In fact, I think it took us both by surprise." Mhmm, yes love. Whatever. Now I have the dilemma of figuring out if it would be appropriate for them to sleep together properly, and whether I could use a love triangle (square?) to bring about her downfall. It's not entirely out of the question, but I'd always thought of Antoinette as being too loyal, and I don't like the idea of Olive betraying Rouge... And Blue betraying his sister is out of the question. I mean, he'd never do that... Would he? Blergh. If anybody out there is actually reading this, feel free to let me know what you think. XD

Ehe.

Words written today (yesterday): 3,099
Word count: 74,289

And there'll be days when the weight of the world will bind you, and you're wondering if the world really needs you. But keep on goin', keep on driving, 'cause the sign ahead will soon be behind you.

17th November

Now playing: Oliver Tompsett - Anybody Else

Baby can't you see, you and I were meant to be. Yes you and I were meant to be. If I had to make a guess I'd say we'd be just fine

While today hasn't been a fantastic day in terms of writing, at least I've done some. I've almost written the amount I'm supposed to. 2/3 isn't bad, really, I guess. :P

I'm too tired to write much more, again, though, besides the fact that while today has been really rather crappy, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I want that double study period. Becky and I are going to spend the time researching which film we're going to go and see on Wednesday night. It's gonna be WICKED mate.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to see Wicked again. December 13th Matinee. The seats aren't fantastic, but since we paid the full 60 squids for them, they'd better be better than the ones we had last time. They're further back, and still out in the corner, but they were expensive. Blergh. I've booked everything, the tickets for the show and for the coach. I haven't told Alisha about it yet, though, since I want to surprise her. I hope it'll be a really nice pre-Christmas surprise. I figure if we get there are 11am, we can hang around for the cast members again, see the show, and by that time it'll be around 5:30pm. Our coach doesn't leave until 9pm, so I'd like to take her around London on the tube, show her some of the sights and maybe take her Christmas shopping and buy her a present or something. It's gonna be so schweeeeeet. :D I can't wait. It'll be even better if Kerry Ellis is performing, though knowing my luck she won't be. XD

Never mind! I don't care! I just love the show. And I'm so glad I finally sorted it out so that we're going again. It's going to be so much fun. <3

Now, an excerpt:

“I’m fine,” I muttered. “I just want to sleep.”

“All you do is sleep,” Danger said. I felt the trailer tip slightly as she jumped to her feet, and then Kez hit another bump on the road and we all bounced. “You never come out of that shell, I bet it absolutely reeks in there.”

“It doesn’t,” I said, but I didn’t have the strength to argue. “It’s better than being out there.”

“Why? What’s wrong with our company?” This came from Kez. I pulled the covers back off my head and shot a confused glance in his direction.

“Kez?”

“Yeah, I’m still alive, would ya look at that?”

“You’re not driving,” I stated feeling rather dumbfounded.

“No, really?”

“But- I- who is driving?”

“Eden. We switched over for a break. Don’t worry, she’s got the map all set out in front of her, it’s a straight road. She can’t possible screw it up.”

“But Kez,” Danger said, laying a hand on the older man’s shoulder. “You forget one tiny little thing.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Eden can’t drive.”

This piece of information fell into the silence, and then before we had chance to react in any way, we felt the trailer hit another pothole in the road and it bounced off the road. I clawed frantically at the side of my bed to keep myself from falling out as Kez and Danger stumbled into each other and landed awkwardly on the table.

“Eden!” Q shrieked, her voice slipping into ultrasonic. “What the fuck?”

“Hey! Hey!” she called back, hardly phased. “I got it all under control, darlings.”

Words written today: 2,108.
Wordcount: 71,231

'Cause coming home to you each night fills me with a joy endlessly...

16th November

Been ill today. Blergh.

Not written much.
But, it's okay. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and hopefully that'll help me to get better. And then I'll be able to write my little heart out. :)

Excerpt for today:

“God, I wish we had a TV,” Eden moaned. I glared at her. The lack of a television was the least of our worries at the moment. The trailer was falling apart, the window had been boarded up with some wooden boards we had found in a dumpster outside a foodcourt where we had stopped to see if there was any cheap food on offer. We had been unsuccessful with regards to the food, but at least the trailer was a little less drafty now. We’d also had the problem of buying new clothes. The people at the dance club had taken everything else; they’d taken anything they thought would lift a profit, and so now we were driving without TV, radio, or half of the things we had brought with us. Not that we had had much to start with.

“Oh shut up Eden,” Danger retorted. “I don’t think you should be worried about that right now.”

“Well why not?” she asked, short dark hair bouncing as we hit a bump in the road. At least Kez had managed to find that new road map. “I’ve got nothing else to do, have I? We don’t have a fucking TV.”


Words written today: 1,523
Wordcount: 69,084.

15th November

Now playing: I dunno. XP

Today has been much MUCH better.

Too tired to talk. Here is an excerpt:

“Oh dear,” I said, letting the sarcasm spill into my tone. “I thought you loved us, and that’s why you live in our house and eat our food. I guess I was wrong. Blue, can you take her back to her room please? And lock the side door, I don’t want anybody leaving this house tonight.”

“But- Rouge!” Indigo screeched, jumping to her feet and slamming one of her feet to the floor angrily. “That’s not fair! I helped you out and everything! Why do you always do this! You know I’m going out tonight! I told you!”

“Precisely.”

“Then why won’t you let me go out?”

“It gets dark outside too late. I don’t want you going out there by yourself. Especially seeing as you smell like pig. You might get mistaken for a farm girl and raped, or something. I wouldn’t want that happening to my poor beloved sister, now, would I?”

“Rouge, you’re such a bitch,” she spat. “You’re a fucking arse! I hate you.”

“I hate you too. Now, please get out of my room before you get any more of your dirt on the furniture. I only just had it cleaned.”

She swore again, angrily tossing her head, and then in protest she dropped her still burning cigarette to the floor and smushed it into the carpet with her foot. I glanced at her calmly, knowing that she was waiting for an explosion of anger, any kind of reaction that might show my anger, but I kept my face completely straight.

“Oh, now that wasn’t nice,” I said coldly. “Blue? I need you to bring Antoinette up here as well, I want to speak to her about getting that door blocked off. It’s loosing us too much heat.”

He frowned at me, but I shot him a toothy smile and he didn’t say anything. He knew just as well as I did that if I got Antoinette up here while he was gone, then I wouldn’t be sleeping with him tonight, and I think he wanted that more than he wanted to see Indigo happy. So, he strode up to her, grabbed both of her arms and frogmarched her out of the door, glaring at me over his shoulder as he went.

“That wasn’t very nice of you, you know,” Olive reprimanded. “You really shouldn’t treat her like that, especially if she’s your sister.”

“Half sister,” I corrected her. “And besides, she deserves it. She’d only be out sleeping around for a bit of cash anyway tonight, so it’s best if I stop things before they get out of hand.”

“From what I hear you’ve got a bit of a promiscuous repuatation as well. It’s a little hypocritcal don’t you think?.”

“Ah, but the difference, Olive, darling, is that I only sleep with people I know, and I certainly don’t ask them to pay in anything but pleasure.” I winked at her. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I believe I just accidentally arranged myself a date with Annie, and I’d appreciate it if you’d leave me be for a while. Our robot Maimee is free for the evening, if she’s your sort of girl, and if not feel free to amuse yourself how you will.”

“I don’t sleep with just anybody,” Olive said, her eyes wide with shock. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”

“Maimee isn’t just anybody,” I said with a smirk. “Trust me. You’ll regret it if you don’t give her a go. I’ll send her down in a couple of hours. You’ll thank me later.” She got to her feet, eyes still wide and a look of confusion spreading across her face. She’d come a long way since she’d arrived here, though. A couple of weeks ago I think she might well have been horrified, not just confused, and she probably would have left the house immediately. Now, I could see that this wasn’t the case. I reckoned she secretly quite wanted to have some fun tonight, and since I was otherwise engaged I would keep my promise.

“I don’t want you to send her,” Olive said. She locked her gaze with mine, blue eyes swimming with something I might even desribe as a growing lust, and then she looked away.

“We deserve a celebration; I have the perfect plan in mind for our Queenie, so tonight is for relaxing. I’ll send Maimee around at eight. Go and get yourself ready.”


Words written today: 3,899
Wordcount: 67,659

14th November

Blergh. I'm ill, I'm allowed to slack off.

585 words written, in the last twenty minutes. It's all I've done today. Pity me.

And Alex is at like... 76k.
Bitch.
XD

I won't catch up now, what with school, but that's okay. I said she could win this year, anyway. Or, actually, I didn't 'say she could win' as such. She told me she was going to win, going to beat me, and then took it as the law. I won't tell her otherwise, because then we might get sneaky to beat each other, and I don't see the fucking point in that. Even now her word updates are few and far between so I don't know where I stand. I can't be arsed to keep track, though, and chase her words, because I think I'd rather focus in the finishing of the novel, rather than the overall word count.

I've had some ideas, though, for tying the novel up earlier than planned. I've been thinking that I'd rather finish it earlier than later, so that I CAN finish it this month, and then I could spend the rest of my month maybe working on something else, maybe even editing this novel or something. I was thinking, rather than having many more random scenes in the middle I might actually start the wind-down now. I only just got into the action with AC and the gang, and for Rouge, Olive and Blue things have really not even started. I'm thinking... for Rouge, I'll have five more attempted death scenes (each where they fail and they move onto somebody else with hopes of better luck), and then the final showdown for her, and then for AC I'll have a couple more mini scenes, the arrival at Mimi McNeil's house, an important revelation, and then I can have my characters meeting or something. That'll be fun. I also need to go back through and make the original 'blogging' elements stronger, because so far I have two blogs. Mhmm. Yes, I got distracted. XD They'd be better done when the whole novel is finished though, so I'll add those later.

Anyway. No excerpt tonight.

Words written today: 585 words.
Wordcount: 63,760.

13th November

No writing today.

Shocking.

I also REALLY don't feel well at all. .___.

12th November

Now playing: Something on the radio

Tonight has been something of a disappointment when it comes to writing. I did however do all of my homework and take the dogs for a walk with Mum. She's having some issues with her employer at the moment (all to do with the regionalisation of the Fire and Rescue Service, thank you government imbeciles D<) and so we took the time out to go for a walk this afternoon. I then did homework, had a power nap (damn you sleep!), worked on the plan for my English Literature coursework. So, by the time I got around to writing it was 9:45 pm. Needless to say, I only got 1000 words written. It doesn't matter though, because for the last two nights I've done pretty well, and tomorrow night is going to be another bad one because I'm helping out on the open evening for sixth form, for psychology this year. :D I can catch up on Friday.

An excerpt, not that there's really much point:

The hallway we found ourselves in last let out into a room that was very much like a dressing room, filled with girls of around Boo’s age, dressed in similar clothes to our own. Many of them were preening in front of mirrors, brushing their hair and applying makeup so thickly it looked like half of them were wearing a second skin. We stood in the doorway together, lingering, until one of the girls wandered up to us curiously.

“Who are you?” she asked, wrinkling her pert little nose. “You can’t be here, not with boys.” She eyed Kez, Casper and Cooper with a certain element of disgust, and then turned to me. “Mhmm?”

“We work here,” I said cooly, hoping that she wouldn’t question why we were there, in the room with her.

“Oh.” Suddenly we were a whole lot less interesting, and she was about to flounce away, back to her giggling group of friends, when I held up my hand.

“Hey, we’re kind of new here, and we’ve been told to take me friend here outside for some fresh air. Where’s the back door?”

“Back door?” The girl wrinkled her nose again. “Won’t your Radios go off if you leave the building?”

“We’ve got a special permit,” Danger added, nodding her head. The blonde girl in front of us hovered for a moment, unsure whether to trust us, and then she nodded her head, curls bouncing.

“It’s a bit complicated, but I can show you from here if you like. I’m not doing anything important.”

“We’d appreciate it,” I said hurriedly. “Really, we would.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she murmured airily. “Let me get my shoes.”

Words written today: 1,112
Wordcount: 63,184

11th November

Let us take a moment to remember those who laid their lives down for us. -Remembrance Day, 2008. 90th anniversary. Thank you.

Now playing: Avril Lavigne - Innocence

Waking up I see that everything is okay, the first time in my life and now it's so great! Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed. I think about the little things that make life great. I wouldn't change a thing about it, this is the best feeling

Today has been rather odd. =O I got home, did a little bit of homework, fell asleep for three hours, did more homework and wrote. Actually, not odd really, considering the amount of sleeping I've been doing lately. Anyway, tonight I got to have my characters angst due to the sex scene I wrote earlier today, and they're currently in the middle of a break-out. They pulled the typical "Doctor, she's sick! Come look!" *bash over the head with a chair and escape* "Ha, suckerrrr" type plot line, but I don't care how unorginal it is. It works. Sort of.

And now for a mini craptacular excerpt. :)

His kisses were sloppy on my neck, wet, and they raised goose bumps all along the flesh of my arms and my bare legs. I shivered, despite the fire burning in the grate, and he must have taken it for a shiver of desire for he suddenly grew more urgent. He moved his hands along the entire length of my body, kissing and murmuring to himself as he did so. He laid me down, began to unbutton the dress from my shoulders, and then I could no longer hold my gaze above me head. I closed my eyes, and waited.

Moments later I felt a familiar rush of cold air, and his wandering hands made their journey lower, patting and poking in places I had hoped never to expose to a man like him again. I was reminded of my last long-term boyfriend, Lucas, who had been a wonderful man with a great personality, but his love-making left a lot to be desired. Sadly, it was like taking a trip down memory lane, only this time there was a horrible knotting fear in my stomach, I was shaking, and I was utterly uncomfortable.

Master Himes seemed totally unawares of this fact, though, and kept at his incessant poking for another few moments. I felt his breath on my legs as he bent to kiss the tender skin on the inside of my thighs. I found myself wishing that he would just get on with it and leave me be. I just wanted to curl up and cry. I couldn’t do that until he had finished.

The violation came suddenly, then, and I almost jumped away from him in shock. Closing my eyes had sheltered me from his actions, allowed me to believe that he was no longer there and it was somebody else, but the sharp shock brought me around again. I opened my eyes, and he grinned down at me, moving over me.

Instantly I wished I’d kept my eyes closed, though, because now he was talking to me. He was whispering sweet nothings into my ears, expecting a response. I lay there, stony and cold and trying my best not to cry as he moved.

“Come on baby, talk to me,” he whispered longingly. “Come on baby, come on.”

I ignored him, pretending that he wasn’t there. There was nothing there but me in the middle of an empty room. The sensation was all in my imagination. And then I thought of Boo, and the fear that trebled in my stomach was for her. I knew what to expect, did she? I knew how to handle myself, did she? At least he was being gentle for me… Would Boo be so lucky?

Words written today: 3,944
Wordcount: 62,069.

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay. This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now, and I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by...

10th November

Now playing: Idina Menzel - Hope.

See ourselves flying over the moutain, Hope is the bravest most beautiful bird in the sky. Only Hope can light the way, only Hope can heal the heart, only Hope can keep the clouds hiding the moon and the stars

This is honestly one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. <3

Anyway. Today I've had fun with my writing. Although, AC's storyline just got really dark. They've already had their house burn down, been attacked by 'seasonal' zombies, and been chased by the police for breaking into a gas station, so I don't think that being gassed and kidnapped to work for a "dance" club is all that out of place. What's weird is how they're all really relaxed about it at first because they've been there for a week, and they're just being taught how to sing and dance. And all of a sudden, their timetable says "special session", and Boo and AC are like "Shit, what could that mean?" and BAM!. There you have it. Whores in the making.

I'm worried about my mental state. O_O

There was a sofa in front of his desk, and we took it.

“Now, you don’t know why I have called you here, do you?” We shook our heads. “And in that case I must commend you on such brilliant behaviour. We love to have employees like you, quiet and dignfied as you are-”

“You can hardly call us employees, though,” I cut him off, my voice stony with worry. His dark, beady eyes landed on my face and he watched me for a moment, then a smile spread across his face.

“No, I suppose you’re right,” he said. “But I’m not particularly bothered by political correctness, so I’m afraid you’ll have to make do. Now, as I was saying... Upon you’re arrival here I selected you two for this special task because I thought that you could handle it beautifully. You, Eight, are young and beauteous, and tight.” I shot a shocked glance at Boo and saw her swallow hard.


... Seriously, how does that just happen? Well, it's kinda fun to write, at least. Roll on the sex scenes. >D

Words written today: 3,948
Wordcount: 58, 121

If only we were as strong as this bird, spirit would never die. What do we name it? Only one word. Hope is the bravest more beautiful bird, Hope is the bravest more beautiful bird in the sky

8th & 9th November

Now playing: I don't even know... >_o

Yesterday doesn't get a post, because I only wrote 500 words and spent my whole day basically relaxing. Hey, it's practically tradition to do that after you hit 50k.

Today I was back into writing again, 4,088 words written, which isn't as much as I've been writing lately but I think maybe 3k a day is a good goal to aim for, as a minimum.

I'm too tired to post anything else.
But, here's an excerpt for your viewing pleasure:

There were eight women, as I had already discovered, each of them dressed from head to foot in black except for one band of white around their faces. Their clothes, while relatively loose fitting, were cleverly put together and stuck well to the form so that there was optimal movement. The material, which at first I had assumed to be some kind of leather, was actually cotton, and by the looks of it in this harsh light it appeared to be hand-spun. Each one of them was stood in a different pose, arms and legs raised in position for battle or hand-to-hand combat.

Nunjas. There was no other way I could think to describe them, and even now I can only remember their resemblance to both Nuns and Ninjas, equally fiercesome and loveably religious. To be honest, when confronted with a sight like that, I didn’t know what to think. I snuck a glance over to Olive and found her reaction to be almost identical to my own. Her eyes were wide in shock, but it looked like she was amused to a certain degree as well, despite the fear.

“Well,” I said snidely, finding myself incredibly less scared than before. “What have we here? Ninja nuns? Isn’t that against your following, ladies? I’m sure the Lady Aeve-”

“Shut it, you,” one of the women snapped. She was the tallest, the one with the most weathered face, and I assumed that she was the one to have spoken before. Three of the others nodded with their leader, the older ones, and the rest stayed completely impatial to our discussion, their eyes fixed on the wall directly above our heads.

“I think I have the right to know what this physical assault is the consequence of,” I said in a mockingly pained manner. “You’ve tied me to bed for goodness sake.”

There was a silence as the superior nunja thought this over, and then she nodded. “You know what this is about,” she answered by way of explanation. I simply shook my head.

“No, I believe you’re very much mistaken. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve such wonderful treatment.” For the moment I was maintaining my calm relatively well, but already I could feel my levels of anger begin to rise. If these women didn’t let me go pretty soon, I might well explode. I knew this from experience.

“Miss Daniella Park and her loyal lover Sofia Jem,” the youngest of the nunjas announced. She took a step forward in military style before speaking. “You have been charged with illicit activities behind the back of the Church of our Lady Aeve. This is seditious and unlawful, as well as being physically and morally wrong.” Her speech was rehearsed, and made her seem younger than she probably was. I couldn’t give a more accurate age for the habit that she wore in her ninja style.

“I have perfectly no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, my voice growing thin. “I think you’d better leave. Now.”


Words written today: 4,088
Wordcount: 54,163.

7th November - 50k BABY!

Now playing: some shitty song on the radio. I don't even have a victory song. .___.

YES! THAT'S RIGHT! I did it. *dies*

Today, I decided that come what may I would write that 50,000th word OR ELSE. It turns out I didn't need to contemplate filling an empty threat, or think about going into extra time, I sat my ass down at 5pm this afternoon and wrote. And wrote, and wrote. I churned out all but 2k before dinner, and now I'm sitting here, rather smug, knowing that by 10:20pm on November 7th, I hit my 50k.

I didn't know if it was possible, but apparently it is. With time to spare. Now I have three weeks to write as much (or as little) as I like, and try not to kill myself from caffeine overdose, or some such thing. >_o

50,000th word: 'the'. How exciting.
50,001st word: 'pretence'. Better.


An excerpt to put this in context:

I’d taken the bonbons from the Emporium myself. I’d hand picked each and every one of them, made sure that they were perfectly round, beautiful things. I’d been so tempted to try one, almost put one in my mouth to savour the wonderful, flawless flavour, and had to remind myself of the symbol that they would become. They would be the first expression of my freedom from the government, my first call-out to The Directors to watch their backs. They were perfect because I chose them to be.

And then, they were tainted. Each and every one, thirteen bonbons tainted by my hand. I went out and bought the arsenic myself, under the pretence of needing rat poison, and used a seive from the kitchen to make sure that they were all dusted evenly. Perfectly. Perhaps Blue was right, perhaps I’d lost part of myself in that meeting room, when they’d placed the brown envelope in front of me and exposed my failures for what they were. Perhaps I had lost something, my sanity maybe? My mind?

I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. The bonbons were perfect.


Another excerpt for the hell of it:

I always find that I have my best dreams in the moments after dozing off. I still feel the weight of sleep closing in on my, and my imaginings are vivid and realistic. The colours are always brighter, the dialogues more beautiful- or at least more pleasing to my ‘drama gland’- and the people always seem to glow.

Chris was not glowing. That was the only indictation that this wasn’t a dream. The colours were bright, the dialogue certainly appealing to my sense of drama, but the glowing? Well, that was missing.

“What?” I jolted out of my half-sleep to find a crowd of people in front of my bed. Kez appeared to have stopped the trailer, and he was just making his way from the driver’s booth when I came to.

“What is it?” I jumped down from the bed, the sounds of spluttering, coughing and gasps of shock assaulting my ears.

“Do the Heimlich!” somebody cried worriedly, and then a chorus of “Yeah, do the Heimlich manoeuvre! Quick!”

But for all the speech nobody seemed willing to do the manoeuvre, and so the coughing just kept on coming. I moved around Q, who was stood motionless in front of me with a hand pressed to her mouth in horror, and then I saw him. It was at this point that I realised that it wasn’t a dream, because nobody was glowing.

Today I have written:
-A death scene involving skittles
-A (not so) high speed chase (involving two trailers and a 'rusty bucket' police car)
-A plot to take over the world, one arsenic covered Bonbon at a time.

Words written today: 8,042.
Wordcount: 50,075. :)

6th November

Now playing: Heart - These Dreams

These dreams go on when I close my eyes. Every second of the night, I live another life. These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside, every moment I'm awake, the further I'm away.

Today has ben one tiring day. But, I've managed pretty well. The kids have reached the first stop in their mission to save the sweet shop, alright, though it's taken them a while to get there. I have the first death scene coming up shortly, as well as (hopefully) a plot to kill a government leader in the villain's storyline. This should be interesting. As for word count, I'm doing pretty well, I guess, for saying that we're only six days into NaNoWriMo. XD If I work hard tomorrow and don't suffer any horrible incidents that might keep me from writing my planned amount, then I should be set to hit the bit 5-0 tomorrow. I hope all goes well, because it really would make me feel fantastic to be able to say I'd reached the 50k in just a week.

Tomorrow I'll have to write 9k, which could be a bit of a challenge though. D: I get in from school at 1:30, tomorrow, after an hour at bookclub which will leave me sufficiently relaxed, so hopefully I'll be able to churn out at least 1.5k before Alisha gets home from school at 3:30. And then I have a little time in between her getting in and her leaving to go to a school disco- when I will stop to do her makeup- and then after that I should have the rest of the evening to write. I don't know if it's a realistic target, but I think it's one that I could reach with enough hard work and effort. If only I'd written more on Monday. *eyeroll*

Anyway, now for the excerpt of the day!
Why yes, the prose is getting worse. You're going to need glasses by the time I'm through with you! XD

“Then I think we’ll just go home. I think that’s the general consensus on the matter-”

“Oh but you mustn’t!” April cried shrilly, her arms flying in an animated move of warning. “No! You mustn’t do that. You mustn’t even think it.”

“Uh, why?” Danger pulled a face. I thought she might be about to hit the other woman, which I would definitely have commended. I could feel myself growing pale, all thoughts of being home in the next few days wiped from my mind completely. In fact, I was so distraught by this revelation that I thought I might just cry.

“Because if you even so much as think these negative anti-prophecy thoughts, you will die.”

“We’ll die?” Casper asked incredulously. “Like, literally? Or metaphorically? Because if it’s metaphorically I think I can handle that-”

“No. You. Will. Die.” April laid her sheet of paper on the table, on top of the gardening handbook, and then shook her head sadly. “You must listen to me; this is of utmost importance in your quest-”

“But what if we don’t want to do the quest?” Vivienne whined. “What if we don’t care about the damn shop and just want to go home?”

“Oh quit with the angst,” Boo cut in, speaking with a loud, harsh voice. “This is our duty, yeah? We should do it.”

“But we could die,” Cassidy said, suddenly deciding that it wasn’t quite so fun any longer.

“You probably won’t die, you know.” April smiled thinly. “It’s very rare that it happens. Dying.”

“For most people it only happens every seventy-eight years,” Q pointed out. When met by several icy glares she clamped her mouth shut and took a step back.

Favourite non-excerpt lines:
“Well, it might narrow things down a bit, eh?” April smirked. “Look, guys, you need to take this more light-heartedly. You seem like you like to have fun, so what’s so different about this? It’s a quest, an adventure, where you get to battle evil foes and fight for the prize. Why, when I was your age I would have loved-”

“Yes, but now we’ve got television.” Danger popped a piece of bubblegum in her mouth. “Have you get any more to tell us?”

Words written today: 5,837 (so far)
Wordcount: 41,296 (so far)

Is it cloak and dagger, could it be Spring or Fall? I walk without a cut through a stained-glass wall.

5th November

Now playing: Something random on the radio.

I could write something really witty about the elections (Yay Obama!), or I could make some comment about Guy Fawkes' Night, or what's on TV, but, I'm just going to do this:

35k! *dies*

I'm tired, and every part of my body hurts except my face. Blergh. It's all worth it though! I feel like a machine! (Never mind that spanner that somebody threw in there last week, we seem to working -fwjiomg- fine?)

Lines for today (the best shit you've ever read):

Wait, did I say quiet street? I meant mostly quiet but with the odd sound of muffled footsteps and a few odd moans and coughs. Moans? Grabbing onto Danger’s shoulders for moral support, I poked my head around her side and let my jaw drop at what I saw. They were shuffling, like humans, but their faces were drained of all colour and life.

“Holy crap!” Kez cried in shock, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “What are they?”

“I think they’re... old people.” Cassidy’s face was a mask of horror as she took in the scene. “They’re old people, right?”

And, from Rouge:

“I never said it was your fault,” I countered. “I just said that I hated her, and that I wanted a hug. Why do you always take everything to be so much more important than it really is? You read into things too much.”

“It comes from having an evil overlord-wannabe as a sister,” he said sadly. “You’ve really screwed me over, you know.”

I got to my feet and sauntered over to him, rubbing my hands through his thick hair. He froze under my touch, and then leaned against me, as though he was letting everything go and was more than ready to let me love him.

“You see?” he added quietly. “You’ve really messed me up.”

“I’ve done no such thing,” I murmured, leaning over so my breath tickled his ear. “Why would I do that?”

“You’re making me commit sin,” he answered earnestly. So earnestly, in fact, that I found myself giggling.

“You’ve been listening to Indigo again, haven’t you?”

“She makes some good points, you know. You just never listen to her.”

“That little bitch,” I said fondly. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’s not one of us, not really related to us. Having the same mother doesn’t count, you know.”

“Of course it counts,” he argued. “She’s still our sister.”

“Bastard sister,” I cracked. “Sure. I’ll start listening to her when hell freezes over. Now, can I have that hug or not? I’m really feeling the need for some love here.”

Words written today: 5,206 (so far)
Wordcount: 35,514 (so far)

4th November

Now playing: Katy Perry - Hot N Cold

We used to be just like twins, so in sync. The same energy now's a dead battery. Used to laugh 'bout nothing, now you're plain boring. I should know that you're not gonna change

I downloaded Katy Perry's album. I love it. : D

And, after an interesting day at school I think I'm doing really well. I've really enjoying writing today, and the 5k that I've written really doesn't feel like it. This puts me way ahead of my target, so I'm going to run with it and see if I can't get 50k by Friday. That would be wonderful. *bounce*

I got my characters drunk tonight, which was amusing, and I had Rouge's bosses threaten to fire her. It's kinda funny. She's all like "But you CAN'T fire me! I'm special!" and they're all like "Ms. Noir, you're the Health Food Coordinator. It's hardly special. -Oh, and while you're at it you can have an assistant. Maybe she'll take your place one day". I love it. XD

Torture is the best kind of therapy.
And, now for another craptastic excerpt.

“I’m a HERO!”

That produced laughter all round, even from Boo who was looking rather queasy. Eden cackled to herself before falling back on her bed, and I wiggled my eyebrows enticingly.

“You can’t be a hero without a hero name, though,” Q called back. She’d just cut through from the driver’s box up the front of the trailer and was making her way towards her bed, considerably less drunk than the rest of us, but still looking rosy-cheeked and generally quite relaxed.

“A hero name?”

“Yeah, you know. Like Superman, or Cat Woman, those foreign guys that we always hear so much about in the news. If you’re going to be a hero you totally need a hero name. Like, an alias?”

“Yeah, I knew what you meant, but what kind of hero name could I have?”

“Geek Girl?” Danger snorted.

“Fat chance,” I said. “Not likely. Ew.”

“What about AC cooler,” Eden cracked.

“Shut up,” I whined. “Don’t make fun of my name, it’s not funny.”

“That’s not your name anyway,” Q pointed out. “Stop complaining.”

“What am I going to do without an alias thingy though? I can’t be a good superhero if I don’t have a name, and I can’t have a name because I’m not cool. I’m too drunk. Can’t we sleep now?”

“No!” Danger cried. “No, if you’re gonna be a hero you need to be one now. That means you’ve got to stay up late or something.”

“Is that written in the rules?”

“It is now.”

“Crap. Okay, give me a name! I’m going to be such as awesome superhero. I’ll be able to fly, and sprinkle magical dust on people to make them tell me the truth, and I’ll hand homemade candy to all of the kids to make them happy and stop them from being all evil and stuff. Does that sound like cool- do they sound cool?”

“Yeah!” Eden yelled enthusiastically, making the trailer rock so hard that I nearly fell over and ending up sitting on the table, on top of the playing cards. “Yeah, and you’ll bake evil cookies that the villain can’t eat or they’ll get poisoned, and you’ll be able to solve all your crimes really quickly because you’ll be able to bribe them with sweets. That’s pretty damn sweet.”

“Candy Girl,” Boo snickered. “Yo, that sounds like something on one of those fifties infomercials. ‘Buy Candy Girl today and she’ll stay sweet on you for always’.” She burst into laughter, but nobody else joined in. We all looked at each other excitedly.

“Yeah,” I murmured. “Candy Girl. That’s actually kinda-”

“Cool, and you could be really-”

“Famous.” Q smirked. “Boo, you’re a genius.”

“Yeah man,” she answered, and then frowned. “Wait, why?”

“Candy girl. That’s frickin’ awesome,” Danger laughed. “And it’s very fitting too don’t you think?” She raised her eyebrows, still grinning. “Like, we’re on a quest to save the world- Madam Butter Rum’s World- and we’re going to save all the candy in the store as well.”

“Dude, it’s like it was meant to be.” I pulled a face and then collapsed back on the table. “I’m going to be a hero, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Danger slapped her thigh happily. “I totally knew you weren’t a loser.”

“Right,” I said happily, glad that I’d finally figured out how to lock away that horrible boring part of myself. “Whatever. Sure you did.”

“Candy girl.”

“Epic.”


Words written today: 5,201
Wordcount: 30,291

You, you don't really wanna stay, no. But you don't really wanna go...

3rd November

Now playing: Katy Perry- Waking Up In Vegas

Don't be a baby, remember what you told me. Shut up and put your money where your mouth is, that's what you get for waking up in Vegas. Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes, now, that's what you get for waking up in Vegas

So far so good! Today, aside from some extremely emotional shit I've been going through and won't divulge over here, has been fucking awesome. In terms of novels that is. XD Today I didn't get up until 11:45, making the most of my last lie in before school starts again, and then I got myself started writing at about 2pm. It was a little difficult to get started, but I found once I started doing some word wars again the words came quite easily. They're of a questionable quality, but hey. Words are words. :D

So, I now have a grand total of... *drumroll please*

25,000 words!


*parties*
I think that beats last years day three struggle by a fair bit, and I'm very proud of myself. I also think that this novel is going to be quite long, and although I don't REALLY like anything in particular from today, I'll put up a little excerpt thingy anyway. Because I know how much you like to read my shits. :P

(Once again, all typos are intentional. >_>)

“What about if we have questions?” Kez slid the prophecy towards her across the table. “You said you’d answer our questions.”

“I shall try to answer them.”

“Okay, then, what does it mean?” Kez was growing dark in the face, and it was clear that his dislike of the woman had not been at all hampered by the disaster that had occured in his Big Top.

“Ah, that I can’t tell you,” she answered with a smug smile. “That’s not my job.”

“There’s somebody else who has that job?” Vivienne, who looked as though she hadn’t sleep in more than one night after her ordeal involving a kettle and a box of matches rubbed a hand through her hair. Her blonde roots were beginning to show and she looked incredibly annoyed.

“Of course there is.” Oracle reached up and patted in one of her other pockets. “I have her details here... Hold on...” She fumbled around for a moment, and pulled out another piece of paper, equally crumbled and as old as the first. “I’m afraid she’s a little behind the times though, and doesn’t have a phone number. To get your answers you’ll have to go and visit her in person. She runs a little hotel in the south of the city. It’s only a couple of days travel from here, I should think.

“It’s been a while since I last visited her- we were both still in mini skirts back then- but I keep in contact with her via letter. Or, at least, I did until there was that postal strike. They still won’t deliver her mail to that hotel.”

“So we’ve got to go and find a woman in a hotel to ask her more questions about the prophecy on a piece of paper?” Kez asked, his lips barely moving as he tried to restrain himself. We were all tired, and this wasn’t helping. She could at least make it simple for us couldn’t she?

“Exactly!” Oracle cried, her voice breaking at it reached a pitch too high for human ears. She clapped her hands together happily and grinned her trademark stupid grin. “You just have to go and see her, and she’ll know what to do.”

“Right.” Kez sighed and then waited a moment. There was silence as we all became lost in our own thoughts, nursing our respective drinks, and then Oracle coughed.

“Now, if there are no more questions, I still have a coffin to buy. Do you think I should go with a dark coloured wood, or something a little less bold? I was thinking if it’s dark it will stain less, but I’d very much like it to look nice in the church for the ceremony-”

“Orrie,” Danger interrupted and laid a heavy hand on the old woman’s shoulder. “We don’t care. If I were you, I’d leave now before somebody dropkicks you out of the nearest window, hmm?”

“Well, well,” Oracle muttered in lighthearted disgust. “Grumpy much?”

“No, just sleep deprived.”

“Well, you have my number if you need me,” she said as she got to her feet, her unfinished tea sitting where she had left it. What a waste of money. Waste of time, space and effort as well, but the money was important if we were going to be travelling... “Although, you mustn’t call me after Sunday because they’re going to cut the phone lines, or replace the number or something. My neice is moving into my place after the funeral.”

We watched her go together, twelve pairs of eyes firmly fixed on her back and wishing her all the grisly death and violence in the world.


Words written today: 7,186
Wordcount: 25,082

Why are these lights so bright? Oh, did we get hitched last night?

November 2nd.

Now playing: P!nk -

I'm the instigator of underwear, showing up here and there uh oh. I'm always on a mission from the get-go, so what if it's only 1 o'clock in the afternoon: it's never too soon to send out all the invatations to the last night of your life

AWESOME day today. Seriously.

I've written 7747 words today, and it hasn't even really hurt me too much. I also rediscovered my love for word wars. HoyeshIhave. <3

I wrote for a bit, didn't get far but by introducing a new character really enjoyed myself, went out for dinner, wrote a bit more, and then started warring. Now I have chapter three completed, chapter four completed, and a first paragraph for chapter five. And the real action is just about to start. I'm happy as... a happy person on happy pills. >D

NaNo + alcohol really isn't good for the brain... >_<

I'll leave you with a little food for thought. Typos included, and TOTALLY on purpose.

“Oh, Eden, push your legs together,” I moaned and covered my eyes with my hand. “That was more of you than I ever wanted to see. Why did you dress like that?”

“Because I was a vampire, duh,” Eden said pointedly. “Vampires look like that.”

Danger laughed and put out her cigarette in the ashtray. “Honey,” she said to me, “Halloween is just a short nickname for 'International Dress-Like-A-Slut Night'. Didn't you get the memo?”

I shook my head, the joke lost on me for a moment, and then I smiled.

“I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t talk to me,” Eden muttered, crossing her legs in a more ladylike manner than before. “I mean, I tried everything.”

“Well, face it, dudette, maybe she just doesn’t like sparkly vampires, hey?”

“I wasn’t even sparkly,” Eden whined. “I was all black and dark and dangerous. I even pretended that I wanted to eat her and she wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Like I said...” Danger laughed and then got to her feet, straightening out her skirt. “Anyway, if she didn’t want you then she can’t be worth it, can she?”

“No, you’re right.” She sighed and then bent to pick the shoes up off the floor, almost falling off the sofa as she did so. I reached out to grab her arm but she only handed me my shoes. “Here,” she said happily. “I borrowed them. I hope you don’t mind, but none of my shoes screamed vampire quite like the patent leather. I sort of cracked the heel a bit on the way home, because I didn’t realise it was this late- Gracie told me that it was only last night, but it’s not last night it’s tomorrow, so I got confused and tried to grab the underground, and my foot got stuck in one of those grate thingies that the air comes in from, and I fell over.

“It’s nothing that a shoe-maker guy won’t be able to fix though, right?”

“Right,” I agreed, not feeling in the right mood to argue with her. I didn’t even know what she was talking about half the time, and she’d lost me after ‘I borrowed them’, so I just nodded and smiled. “It’s fine, I’ll just get a new pair. You keep them.” I handed them back forlornly and then picked up my book again.

Words writen today: 7,747
Wordcount: 17,880

I'm a story to tell the alibi, they wanna go home I asked them why...

November 1st

Now playing: P!nk - This Is How It Goes Down

Gonna run, gonna scream, gonna crawl down on your knees. When you realize that no one's gonna measure up to me, doesn't matter cause I'm over it now

I know, a slightly late blog for November 1st. What can I say? I was busy. =O

I stayed up until midnight and managed to get a good 3k written before actually going to sleep, and then got up relatively early to go to the regional meet. There were loads of us there, it was awesome. Though, we had to leave early because Alex wanted to get home. I hate that. I guess next week I can stop for as long as I like because she'll be working. Does it sound harsh that I don't mind that? :/ Oops. Oh well. It's November, I'm allowed to be a bitch.

After the regional meet Dad took us to the cinema at the Quad- because I hadn't stayed at the meet, I could go- and we saw Space Chimps. Sure, it wasn't the best movie ever but it made me laugh in quite a few places, and it had Kristin Chenoweth (blatantly playing the best part) in it, so that was a bonus. Then we went out to Markeaton Park for the anual bonfire celebration. It was a big early this year, and it absolutely pissed it down with rain. We got soaked.

By the time I got home I felt like a drowned rat, and not even in a good way if that could be taken in a positive light. >_>

Anyway! After that I stayed up until 2am and wrote another 7k. So, my total for the first day came to a nice, round, 10,000 words. I'm pretty happy with my wordcount, but, I think I need to figure out a way to get back into my story. I need to get more attached to my characters, get inside their heads. I used to be so good at it; what happened? :(

There will hopefully be another blog later to update progress. :D
As for now, perhaps a little excerpt.

“Morning Vee,” I greeted her. “Morning Cassidy.” Cassidy nodded a blonde head but said nothing in response. “There’s a bit of confusion and-” I felt the tears welling up again and had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying out.

“Oh, honey, what’s up?” Vivienne questioning worriedly, covering the distance between us easily and sweeping me into a hug. Of all the people that worked in the circus and sideshow- which helped to fund Madam Butter Rum’s crazy new candy ideals- Vivienne and her sister were the two that I felt were easiest to talk to. Some of the others scared me more than I’d like to admit, but aside from being incredibly talented with horses and stupidly flexible, neither of these two girls had anything about them that I could be scared of. Well, except for Cassidy’s obvious mental disarray which she explored through a classic stereotype known fondly among us as “blonde”.

“Everything,” I cried, wrapped my arms around her. She was nicer to hug than Q, and always seemed much more welcoming. “Look, the whole building is gone! The whole Emporium is gone, and nobody has a clue where it’s gone-”

“Gone?” Vivienne frowned, and then craned her neck to peer around the corner of her trailer to see the store. “Gone. Oh goodness. Cassie, look!” She turned to her sister and waved her arm frantically at the hole left by the building. “The whole damn building has disappeared!”

“Wow,” Cassidy mouthed, her jaw slackening as her blue eyes widened.

“Is that why you came over?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, sniffling. I wiped my nose on my sleeve and then shrugged my shoulders. “I wondered if any of you had heard anything; it can’t be possible for a whole building to disappear overnight and for nobody to have heard anything, can it?”

Vivienne cast a thoughtful look at her sister, who was still gawping at the spot where she could now see trees and church spires instead of concrete blocks, and then shook her head angrily. She seemed to be mad at herself, though I don’t think I could have said why.

“No, I didn’t hear anything. I slept like a baby all night. Cassie?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh,” I muttered. “Damn. Can you ask around? See if any of the lighter sleeper heard anything? We’ll meet at the Boheme in an hour and see what sense we can make out of all of this. I’ll head over and help Q get these kids home, and- make sure you get Kez to come over. He’ll know what to do.” Or at least, I hope he’d know what to do, since he was the Ringleader of the circus, and surely he had more power than any of us to decree our next actions.

As for me, I was utterly bewildered by the events of the morning, and my stomach was churning with the of effort of stopping myself from throwing up the breakfast I had eaten this morning. I’d known the tingling hadn’t been because of that curry.


Wordcount: 10,079

I'm gonna rage, stay out really late, gonna hang with all my friends you hate...

31st October

HOLY CRAP.

1 hour until the beginning of NaNoWriMo 2008!
I'm... not as excited as I have been before, but looking forward to it anyway. I've not finished all the homework I wanted to finish, but it's okay, I still have a few days before school.

SHIIIIIT.
XD

No blog yesterday because I spent the day/night with friends. We played squash at Dragon's, where Lauren got us in for free, and then we ate junk and watched movies all night. There could be some amsuing photos on facebook soon >_>

But anyway. I WILL post a blog about London eventually, it's just going to take a lot of effort to write because so much happened. I think that if I leave it for a while, I may forget the unimportant details and just be able to post something a little more interesting for you all.


As for right now:
1 HOUR UNTIL NANOWRIMO 2008.
XDD
I'm shitting myself. I don't have a plot or anything... But, I think I'll start with Rouge. Just a little scene, and then I think I'll set the rest of the novel in the autumn. It'll start on Halloween, I think, and have an introduction to Madam Butter Rum's Sweet Emporium and AC, Danger, Q... a few of those people, and then I'll get into action a little more tomorrow, I think.

I don't know how long I'll be able to stay up, but I think that 1am should probably be my cut off. I need enough sleep that tomorrow I'll be able to do some writing without dying of sleep deprivation, so, yeah. >_>

Now, I'll take a nap for an hour, and get myself ready for the madness. Holy cow. X3

60 MINUTES EXACTLY BY MY LITTLE COMPUTER CLOCK UNTIL NANOWRIMO 2008!!
<3

29th October

Shit a brick.

I can't be bothered to blog tonight. (Today? Holy shit. TODAY. It's October 30th).

Can I panic nao?

*cries*

2 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

27th October

Now playing: Wicked Original Broadway Cast - No Good Deed

One question haunts and hurts, too much, too much to mention: Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye? If that's all good deeds are, maybe that's the reason why no good deed goes unpunished

I owe you all a blog update, one all about the antics of London, and my shopping trip today with the girls (and Joe >_>) but, to be quite honest, it's going to have to wait until I have more energy. I was going to blog it today, and even told myself that I really really should or else I'd be a loser, but I think I'd rather be a loser than be so tired I can't function.
X3

Why yes, I am that tired. I'm surviving on a little over 18 hours sleep for the whole weekend, and that does not bode well for somebody who would, on average, sleep over 30 hours in a single weekend. XD

So, I'll update when I have more energy. :]

Toodles~

4 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

One more disaster I can add to my generous supply?

23rd October

Now playing: Emilie Autumn - Juliet

Meet me beneath my balcony and say 'no one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day'. Underneath my balcony I'll say 'no one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day'.

Excited about tomorrow and the weekend now. It's going to be great. I'm going to make sure I keep a little journal about everything while we're gone as well. A whole weekend in London. Epic.

>D

Hazel's house by 3pm. We're going to stuff our faces (or not) and then get on the coach by 6:05pm. We should be in London by 10pm ish, and then we've got to hop on the underground and make our way around the system for a little while, so we can get to our hotel. >D I hope it all goes well. I'm quite nervous as well, since we don't really know where we're going... XD

Best get some sleep. I want to be alive tomorrow. =P
:D

8 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

You're in my stars you know, don't need no crystal ball to tell me so...

22nd October

Now playing:

How old are you? I'm older than you'll ever be. I've been dead a thousand years, and lived only two or three. I don't mind telling you : my life was ended by your hand, the kind of murder where nobody dies. But I don't suppose you'd understand. Call off the search; we've found her.

I really should learn to make these entries before I get tired, shouldn't I? It's pathetic really. It's 10pm and already I'm dying to get myself to bed. Year 13 in sixth form really does take it out of you. I guess I never really figured how much it would drain me. And this does NOT bode well for NaNo... XD

Tonight, as well as having Alex and Hazel around to plan everything out for the weekend, I managed to also sit myself down, write an essay and do a little NaNoWriMo planning. I decided that I wanted to have twins in my novel at some point this morning, having known that I wanted one of the twins to exists for a few weeks now. I couldn't decide at first which personality to give to which twin, which took some time to figure out, but now I think I've sorted it out. Cassidy (who is no longer the gang-fight daughter (that's now Ginger)) is going to be the intelligent twin, the one who always comes up with the routines for their acrobatic shows etc. and Vivienne-You-Can-Call-Me-Vee is the 'blonde', not-so-intelligent one. I think it should work well, and I think they might accidentally end up becoming central characters... >_>; Shh, don't tell Ginger, Danger or Q. They might hurt me while I sleep. -ninja-

Anyway. Other than the NaNo planning, and the excitement for this weekend (which is building up nicely now), there's only one more piece of information of any importance. And that, ladies and gentleman, and is that I have managed to nab a spot on the school trip that's going to Stratford to see Romeo and Juliet! Performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company! *scream of excitement*

I was gutted when I found out that we English Lit. students wouldn't be going, but the Lang and Lit kids and the Drama kids would be. However, once I'd resigned myself to this inevitability, an opportunity presented itself when Sarah said to me that her teacher had mentioned that there were five spare tickets. I almost raped her in excitement, asking her to ask said teacher if it would be possible for me to go. And it is. And I am. £27 it costs, but compared to the £130 minimum I'm dishing out this weekend for the London Scene with the girls (and Sam), I think £27 is entirely reasonable, and not at all expensive. XDD

I just REALLY REALLY want to go.
It's all good. Mum agreed.
: D
*does a happy dance*


And now it's bed time. >_o

7 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

If I am Lolita, then you are a criminal and you should be killed...

21st October

Now playing: Les Miserables - At The End Of The Day

At the end of the day you're another day older, and that's all you can say for the life of the poor. It's a struggle, it's a war, and there's nothing that anyone's giving. One more day standing about, what is it for? One day less to be living.

I know, I know, I missed a blog yesterday. I swear there is a good explanation for it. Or, rather, a lame explanation but an explanation all the same. (Jeeze, how many times can I use the same word in one sentence?) Anyway, last night when I got home I went straight to the writing corner and read a nice big chunk of No Plot? No Problem! (such an AWESOME book, by the way, I read it every year before NaNo comes around now) and then read the rest of The Hound of the Baskervilles. I never realised how awesome that book was, either. It's shocking.

Anyway, either the coffee I made myself as a treat, or a nice dose of PMT (I hate that time of the month...) lead to an extremely aggravating headache. I was in bed by 10pm, which is early for me these days, and so I really couldn't be bothered to mess with my head any more than necessary to make a blog entry.

There. Lame excuse ahoy! :D

About today... What happened today? Very little really. I could regale you all with tales of school and other random shit that's happened to me today (what little there is), but none of that is interesting enough to warrent me writing it down. Aside from doing a little writing in my study period and finishing up writing the character sketch for Rouge at the point she decided she was going to take over the world, I have done nothing creative and therefore nothing that deserves to be put in this journal.

I got in from school, and promptly decided that I was going to have a nap. Which I did. I slept until 6pm, and then was still doing homework until twenty minutes ago. It's pretty pathetic really, but at least I feel relatively cheerful thanks to that little period of uninterrupted sleep in my nice warm bed. I think I'm coming down with the flu. >_> whatever, I'll push it off. I really, really, REALLY will. There is nothing in hell that would make me miss school now, I can't afford to.

So, however boring my life is, at least I can now start counting down the time until NaNo starts. Yes, that's right! 10 DAYS UNTIL NANOWRIMO 2008 PEOPLE!!! I don't think I've ever been so excited in my whole life. Except from this time last year, and, the year before..... XD I'm such a dork.

So, 10 days to go means it's time to really knuckle down and get some planning done. Or, in my case, surf the forums for any possible dare that I could use to make my plot even more wacky and insane than it already was. I'm also getting ready for my weekend in London. I hope I'll get some random inspiration while I'm there, since I love London so much. I don't think I'd like to live there, but a whole weekend there is going to be FUCKING AWESOME. Yes, that's right, it even deserves a swear word of appreciation.

And don't forget. I hate anime. :)

As for that character sketch...

Beginnings

The gentle patter of raindrops on the glass windows echoed through the nursery, casting long thin dripping shadows along the walls. Blue and I were bored, as usual, and sat together in front of the fire which had burned down a number of hours ago and was now only smouldering embers. Our mother had come in and taken Indie out to nurse her in private, and with the nanny having quit last week when she realised that my mother was going to refuse her next pay check, Blue and I were left to our own devices.

The weather, however, decreed that we could do very little to amuse ourselves other than hide in our room and pretend to like each other. Back then, and I’ll glad admit it, Blue was an annoying little brat, and I was a selfish, determined equal. We hated each other.

The nursery was growing cold, and rather than sit in his armchair like normal, Blue left my side and resigned himself to shivering under the covers of his bed, peering out with dark, intelligent eyes. I drew my legs underneath myself and settled down to make use of my evening by reading some book or other- I forget which, now, it was so long ago.

The scene becomes imprinted upon my memory at the point when I was rudely interrupted from my musings by the family cat, a little white ball of fur named Wiggles, who climbed onto my lap and began almost instantly to make himself comfortable and purr loudly with content.

“Hey, look,” I had commented, setting my book aside. “I’m Dr. Masterville.” I sat myself up straighter and began to pet the cat in a rhythmic manner, making reference to our favourite character from a familiar comic. “Look, Blue, look. Isn’t that funny?” I petted Wiggles some more, and giggled to myself.

“You don’t look anything like him,” Blue corrected me. He raised an eyebrow in a rather annoyed manner.

“Why the hell not?” I demanded with a measured amount of indignance. I thought I looked very much like Dr. Masterville, and to my young mind it seemed that Blue obviously just hadn’t read enough of the comics.

“Well,” he considered, and slipped the covers from his head to his shoulders. “For starters you’re a girl. Dr. Masterville isn’t a girl, he’s a man. Like me.”

“You’re not a man,” I told him. “You’re a stupid little boy. I do look like Dr. Masterville. I’ve got the cat and everything.”

“You’re not evil enough, either,” Blue carried on. “You’re too girly, and you squeal too much. Girls like the colour pink and don’t like getting muddy or wet. Villain’s have to be stronger than that because they have to be brave. You’re not brave.”

“I am too!” I retorted and stuck my tongue out angrily. “I’m braver than you anyway. You cried yesterday because you saw a spider in your room.”

“It was a big spider-”

“And you still wet the bed.” I smirked.

“I do not!” Blue cried and huddled himself back up in the blanket. “You’re a girl, anyway. Girls suck.”

“I am not.” I shook my head and stuck my tongue out again. “I’m every bit as man as you and I can prove it.”

“Oh yeah? And how?”

“I bet you I’m taller than you.”

“Nuhuh.”

“I bet you I can run faster than you, too. I bet I can play the piano better, and I bet I’m cleverer than you, so there.”

“Nope, nope, nope,” Blue swore, eyes darkening. “Besides, you’ll never be as powerful as Dr. Masterville. He owns the whole world, and all the people in it, and he could make everybody do exactly as he wanted. You couldn’t do that.”

“I could so!” I argued. “Why couldn’t I?”

“Because you’re a girl-”

“You already said that.”

“You didn’t let me finish. You’re a girl, so you’re weak and a loser, but you also don’t have as much power as Daddy did.”

“What’s he got to do with anything?” I questioned. “Why bring him into it? He’s been gone since you were a baby- I think he didn’t like you.”

“Daddy was a des- descen- Daddy was related to that man who used to rule Exos. The Thir? The Thau. He was related to a real villain, a real powerful man, and he was powerful too. You won’t be like him.”

“Why won’t I? I can be powerful, too.”

“Not you can’t. You’re not like Daddy.”

“I could be.”

“No you couldn’t. You’re a girl.”

“Shut up!” I shouted at him. The cat jumped from my lap as I clambered to my feet. “Shut up Blue! You’re stupid, and I will be powerful, and I’ll show you how evil I can be.” I stomped over to him and hit him twice on the shoulder. He cowered beneath his blanket, only his eyes peeking out of the darkness that cloaked him.

He didn’t say anything at first, and the only sound was the rain on the glass of the nursery window, but then he poked his head out from the covers again. With something like a meow from a cat in pain he shrugged his shoulders and spoke.

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes,” I swore, still fuming. “I will prove you wrong. You don’t know anything.” I shoved him once more and headed back over to the armchair, poking the fire angrily with a poker on the way. Flames jumped upwards and then died down again.

I couldn’t understand why Blue thought that I wouldn’t be able to do it. The only explanation I could come up with was that he wanted me to be weak and stupid like all those other ladies, like Mum, and I didn’t want to be like that. If I was like that, then he would have all the control, and that wasn’t fair. I was bigger than him, older than him. I deserved to be able to prove him wrong.

“So,” I said, sitting myself down in the chair with an air of grace and authority. “Want to make it a bet, then?”

Blue shook his head.

“Okay,” I told him. I spoke with the sincerity of youth, but little did I know how important this promise to myself, and to him, would become in my life. “You’re on. I bet I can prove you wrong. I bet I can be just like Dr. Masterville; I’ll own the whole world, and everybody in it.”

“You will?” Blue asked meekly, the bedclothes still held tight around his head as if to keep out the words I was speaking.

“Yep.” I grinned. “I’ll even own you.”


Yup. You know you love Rouge and her awesome violent, competitive tendancies. :D

10 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

At the end of the day you're another day colder
And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill

19th October

Now playing: Natalie Cortez - What I Did For Love (A Chorus Line)

Kiss today goodbye, the sweetness and the sorrow. Wish me luck, the same to you. But I can't regret what I did for love, what I did for love. Look my eyes are dry.

POST 100!

Yes! I actually just hit post 100 on this blog. After two years. XD That's pretty pathetic, but it makes me smile anyway.

*ahem* So... The planning for TAoM is coming along nicely. I did some basic character bios today, so I can keep track of my generally main characters. AC and Rouge got longer, more detailed, full-on biography sheets, but the rest of the characters just need the basics to get them straight in my head. I learnt some interesting stuff about my characters this way, though. Apparently Cassidy grew up in a gang, one of eight children- five of whom died before turning twenty- and has a dead sister called Juliet (I like that name). Casper now has a name (he being the other one of my two male characters, after Chris); Chris is still 2D and boring, but hey, that's just how it goes; Danger has five siblings (which I wasn't aware of until today) and she has a gay crush on AC. Mhmm. Where did THAT come from? Q longs to be noticed by Lyndon, a character I've yet to plan out, and is the super intelligent one (apparently).

This is all good, but I still have the problem of not having enough male characters, and I've yet to come up with characters for the sideshow/carnival that'll be travelling on the quest with them. And, I've not even thought about Rouge's party yet.
...

It doesn't matter. I'm getting there. >D

Also, I'm tired now. Maybe I won't blog any more tonight. =O

We did what we had to do. Won't forget, can't regret what I did for love...

18th October

I know. It's poor.

No entries for the last few days.
I don't even have an excuse. *eyeroll*

I've been busy, but no more than usual, I guess. I've not done much writing, although last night I did work on a character bio sheet for Rouge, which turned out quite amusing. She appears to have sex on the brain, all the time. XD

Erm, what else...
So, last night I got an email from UEA saying that they had got my UCAS form, and that they'd be in contact with me shortly. I was quite close to dancing around my room. No other university has emailed me or anything yet, which makes me want to go to UEA more than ever now. I mean, I REALLY want to go.

As for NaNo in general, I've never felt more unprepared. XD Today I'm thinking about going through and making really simply bio sheets for ALL of my characters who will be going on the "quest" because otherwise I won't be able to keep them straight, and then I need to work out which plot points I'm going to allocate to AC and which ones to Rouge. Other than that, though, I don't want to plan anything else because I'll get myself all bogged down and bored. I want NaNo to be all about running with random ideas even if it doesn't work out. So, maybe the feeling regarding lack of preparation isn't a bad thing. Maybe it's exactly what I need. I need to loosen up.

-_-

We just made cookies (my sister and I). Chocolate chip ones, and gingerbread ones. Though, I ate too many, and now I feel sick. Dad and Cath went out and left us cooking, and apparently when they got back they thought they might have to put out some fires, or something. They thought that the food would at least be burnt, which wasn't the case. In fact, it was only the cookies that Alisha put in AFTER dad got back that ended up burnt, and that was because we were eating lunch and she forgot about them. XP My gingerbread ones turned out splendidly; Dad ate about four of them, before being told that he should stop or the diabetes might kill him, Alisha had a couple as well, and even Cath had one and said how nice they were. *feels smug* If only I hadn't had two of them, plus a chocolate one, plus sandwiches and crisps. *feels ill*

Blergh.
Maybe I'll go lie down and think about my characters or something. I hear we're going for a walk in a little while... =P

Toodles.

Coming back for MORE?

Now playing: Idina Menzel - Let Me Fall

It's October again, leaves are falling down like rain. One more year's come and gone, but nothing's changed. Wasn't I supposed to be someone who could face the things that I've been running from?

I sent my UCAS form off tonight. Paid for it, and everything, so now all I have to wait for is Mr Kilgour to do his thang. =O

I'm watching Cold Case now, ready to go to bed. I just thought I'd post something up here, first.


KISS AND MAKE UP

"And why the fuck couldn't you tell me this before you let the monkey outside?" Rouge threw her hands up into the air and advanced on me quickly.

"I- I- the monkey wanted o-out?" I didn't know how else to defend myself, but I knew I had to say something. When Rouge got into these moods it was quite easy for her to get violent, and I had more than enough scars already. I didn't need any more. By age six I'd already counted five-hundred-and-six of the damn things, and that was before she got "damaged".

"For fuck's sake, Blue. You really are pathetic, you know that?" She began to pace up and down the Sun Room, her skirt swishing angrily around her legs.

"I know," I mumbled. All I'd done was let the monkey outside in the snow. How much harm could that do?

"God! And he actually agrees with it!" She let out a little bark of sarcastic laughter and slammed her fist against her palm. "I really hate you sometimes."

"I know," I said again. Really, what do you say when your older sister is ready to castrate you and stick your living-breathing body into a boiling vat of acid?- and I'm not exaggerating that, I've seen her do it.

"Shut the fuck up!" she shrieked. And then, before I could react I felt the whoosh of air as one of my sister's priceless vases was thrown at my head, flowers and all. Luckily, when she gets angry her aim is poor, and I was able to dodge it.

"Hey!" I yelled. "Come on Redd, there's ab- absolutely no need for that!"

"No need? No need? I'll show you no fucking need!" She grabbed another one and hurled it at my face, and then another which made contact and glanced off my shoulder. I'm surprised she's even got any of the damn things left.

"Shit! That really hurt!" I grabbed my shoulder and rubbed at it furiously whilst backing myself into a corner. It would probably be okay so long as I made her feel like she was in control.

"Oh, I'm sorry did my antique vase smash all over your shoulder? How clumsy of me. Here, have another one!" This one hit as well, bounced of my chest and knocked me backwards. And, sadly enough the only thing I could think was 'Thank God she's not using the cutlery again', because that had been an interesting experience.

"I'm sor- sorry," I said. "Real sorry. I won't do it again, I promise?"

"You sure as fuck won't!" she screeched and hurled something smaller at me. I realised upon impact that it was the monkey, and that she hadn't thrown it, the bloody thing had jumped itself like a psychotic fur-ball on a suicide kick. I pulled at the creature angrily and attempted to toss him to the floor. He bounced away before I could, though, and up into his mother's arms. "Oh, sweetie," she murmured softly. "Did he hurt you? You're a fucking bastard, Blue, you know that? A mother fucking sweet-faced bastard."

After a few moments she looked up. Chiz jumped from her arms and scampered away, and she smiled at me sweetly.

"Come here," she said. "You're bleeding."

"It doesn't matter," I said with a shake of my head. "It's only a cut."

"No," she whispered moving closer to me. "Let me have a look at that." I knew that to disobey her would be disastrous at this point, so I let her come closer. She rubbed at my arm gently, and began to trail her fingers up and down my face where a shard of the vase had grazed my right cheek. "Poor, poor baby," she whispered. It became a mantra, a soothing comforting mantra for both of us.

She kissed me once, and then again, and then pulled me down onto the bed. I could never understand why arguments always led to sex, I really couldn't.

--

I went to an interview once, for a place washing laundry at one of the local hotels. They asked me whether I'd be happy to work full hours, and actually sleep on the site, and I was only too happy to oblige. I'd have done anything to get out of that house. "Do you have any family?" they asked me, and I told them about my sisters. "So why do you want to come down here, then? Is there a reason?" they'd questioned and the only thing I'd been able to say slipped from my lips before I was ready to admit it.

"Why yes," I'd told them, "There is a reason, really. My older sister is a psychopathic sex-obsessed bitch with ambitions to take over the world, and my little sister is a glorified whore, so I don't like to spend much time with them."

Needless to say, I didn't get that job after all.

But I swear this is not who I'm meant to be

14th October

You know, it occurred to me this morning just how much I love this blog. It's silly really, because even after writing in it for two years I've only just figured out WHY I like it. And, even now, I'm still not sure. People don't really read it, not much anyway, so that can't be a reason why I'd want to make my little ranty posts... And I have another blog on livejournal, but I don't ever actually update that, so it can't just be the prospect of having some place to blog... I think I've grown rather attached to the thing, actually. I've been blogging since October 2006 now, which is two years ago to the month. I started the blog before I really began to enjoy NaNoWriMo, and now I can honestly say that when I get bored and I read back over this blog I actually enjoy doing it. I read things I wrote when I was half asleep, or things I wrote back when school was still easy. Boy, if I knew then...

So anyway. I promised a longer update today, since my blog last night was little more than a glorified in-your-face-I-managed-to-write. I guess I run out of things to talk about, though, because school just doesn't seem to be an appealing topic at the moment. I suppose I can talk about UCAS though...

I finished my person statement a while ago, now, which means that as soon as Mr. Kilgour (our head of centre for Derby Moor) checks over my form and reads my reference and such, I can get my form sent off to all the universities I'm applying to. They say that first come isn't necessarily first serve, but in my opinion, when you're applying for a course as competitive as the one I want to go for, it's best to get the statement and everything in as early as possible, in case you start to look lazy. Tonight when Mum gets home I'm going to ask her for her credit card (would you believe it costs £17 to send the form? How stupid! Imagine if you got all rejections; that would be like paying to get REJECTED. That would suck). Anyway, yeah, I'm hopefully therefore going to get that sent off later, then, and tonight I'm taking my sister up to see Derby Moor. Because we moved house, we're now in the catchment area for DM, even though I went to Littleover, which is the better schoool. We're hoping she'll get into LCS, but if she doesn't then DM is her only option, so it'll be good for her to have a look around so she can convince herself that the school isn't as bad as she thinks... Even if it is pretty bad. :/

Tonight I also have two pieces of homework to do, but that's okay. As soon as we get back from the open evening I'll get those done, and then I can work on another character sketch I started earlier. It's another AC scene with her mother, but this time it's set during and just after her mother's funeral. I thought it might be interesting to introduce Q as a character in this environment, because until now I haven't done anything with her in it.

I should probably cut this blog short now, actually. I'm due to go to back to school in three minutes for my last lesson of the day (I had lunch time off), and I've got a history lesson to work on my individual assignment. I'm studying Witchcraft in Early Modern Europe, so it's pretty awesome getting to work on it. I get to listen to music while reading, too. :D

Anyway!! Really now. I'm off. I might blog again later, but if I don't I'll at least post a couple of those sketches I wrote last night.

Toodles. <3

13th October

Today was awesome. I wrote two character sketches, and did no homework. XD

Too late to blog now, though. I'll do it tomorrow. >3

12th October (The REAL post)

Now playing: Wuthering Heights - Hayley Westenra

Out on the wiley, windy moors, we'd roll and fall in green. You had a temper like my jealousy: Too hot, too greedy. How could you leave me, when I needed to possess you?

So, today has been a pretty cool day as well. Today I didn't really do a lot, to be honest with you. I didn't wake up until 11am, and then I basically sat around all morning. I had a bit of an argument with my sister, who was being unreasonable, and my mother, who was arguing with everybody today, but other than that things went pretty smoothly. I sat around on the computer for most of the day, watched the latests episode of Bones from Thursday night which I hadn't gotten around to watching yet (I'm saving Cold Case for one night this week when I'm feeling particularly free of homework and other obligations), and then it was more internet until about half six this evening. At this point I decided I'd go around and see my friend, who I hadn't seen for a few weeks.

I spent a couple of hours at her house with one of her other friends, and we watched Eddy Izzard videos on youtube until we laughed so much we got a bit sick. >_o I headed home then, and sat around on the internet for a bit longer. The relaxation was what I needed, and it really did me good.

After a conversation on one of the NaNo threads I decided it was finally time to write my synopsis for my NaNo novel, which I've been putting off for a week or so now, and so I sat down and did that. It actually turned out pretty well, I think. It's longer than I'd planned, but it shows what the story is going to be about for both of the main characters, which is pretty effective, I think. If you want to read it, you can find it here: My NaNo Page

Whilst writing this synopsis, which I did totally on a whim, I came up with the inspiration for a character sketch for A.C. I decided in that split second (you know, as you do), that her mother was going to be a ghost who kept harassing her over the phone at the most inappropriate times, and of course this spawned a whole sketch conversation between the two of them. It's only 500 words, but I really enjoyed writing the whole thing.

Words written today: Five hundred and something, again, plus a synopsis.

Lines for today: Again, pretty much all of them. I think my favourite line tonight, though, is... "ust because you’re a non-living non-breathing trickle of residue on the phone line it does not give you the right to harass me like this every morning before work."

I hated you. I loved you, too.

12th October

That's right! You guessed it!
It's Character Sketch time! *wheeeeee*

I'll probably make another blog later. Maybe. >_o

LONG DISTANCE PHONE CALLS

“Yes, okay Mum, tonight when I go to bed I promise that I’ll make sure to lock the front door before I sleep.”

“You see! That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

“No Mum. I just don’t see the point in locking the door when there’s an alarm on anyway, and the chain’s across. Danger doesn’t go to bed until way after I do, because she doesn’t need to be up until after me-”

“Danger? Who is Danger?”

“Oh for goodness sake, Mum. We go through this every day. Just because you’re a non-living non-breathing trickle of residue on the phone line it does not give you the right to harass me like this every morning before work. One of these days you’re going to make me late!”

“It’s my duty to look after my youngest daughter,” my mother prattled. I put one hand to my forehead and sighed. What was worse than getting up early on a Monday morning for a dentist’s appointment before work? Getting up early for a dentist’s appointment before work, only to have the phone ring just seconds before I left the house. I thought today she might have forgotten, or at least that by leaving early I might avoid the conversation.

“Mum, I’m your only daughter,” I corrected her. “And besides, I’m not so little any more. Don’t you think it’s time you left me alone for a little while? You didn’t ring me this often back when you were alive, so what’s your excuse?”

“I have a lot more free time on my hands, now,” my mother complained. “It’s not like you’ve got anywhere else to be, anyway! Wouldn’t you rather talk to me instead?”

“Not really Mum,” I said to her honestly. I switched the phone to my other ear and attempted to apply another layer of lipstick in front of the hall mirror before leaving. It didn’t matter that it would only get messed up in the dentist’s office anyway; I wanted to make a good impression. “Look Mum, I told you yesterday. I’m not heading straight for work today, I have that appointment, and I’d hate to do it but if you don’t let me go I’m going to be late and I’ll have to put the phone down on you. Can we do this later, please?”

“Oh I wish you wouldn’t brush me off, so! You always act like you’re so old, and you don’t need me any more. And all I was doing was ringing up to make sure that you were okay and that you hadn’t been raped, or worse burgled in the night!” she let out a gasp of shock, and I could picture her shaking her head in shame at the gossip that might ensue.

“Sure, I know you care less about me than my money, Mum, but seriously. I am old enough to look after myself now. Come on, let me go or I’ll put the phone down. You can ring me later, I promise. When I get in from work. How about that?”

“Oh alright, alright,” she muttered airily. “If you really must go I guess I’d better not make you late.” I checked my watch. I was already late. Rolling my eyes I made a move towards the table on which the phone cradle rested. “I’ll call you tonight then, Apple. Mhmm?”

“Yes Mum, you can call me tonight. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good bye lovee! Good bye!”

There was a brief buzz as she residue dissipated, and then the line went dead. I have to admit, she really was making this difficult for me recently. With a toss of my head to dislodge a curl that had gotten itself stuck to my ear, I set the alarm and left the building, wondering if she’d ever just leave me alone. It really was difficult to move on and grieve when every day I could expect a phone call from the woman who was supposed to be dead.

It made me wonder, really, if it was just me. Do I attract the weird things in life? I think I must.

11th October

Now playing: It Matters To Me - Karmine Alers

If you go down burning what do you have to lose? You're so scared you can't see the truth, but I see the rainbows that you can't see. If it don't matter to you, it matters to me. Remember the times, we laughed till we cried...

Haven't really posted much here lately. I've been too busy enjoying the freedom of not having to write much at all. Today I tried out Holly Lisle's How To Beat Writer's Block, which was actually pretty effective. It got me working through the issues in the trilogy, and then proceeded to make me want to write another character sketch. The one I've written today is shorter than the first one, and from AC's point of view. It's a more general thing, not an actual scene from AC's life, but I sort of like it anyway. <3

As for school, it's busy as all hell as usual, but it's okay. Today I worked my way through the biggest piece of history homework ever, and I felt so good for it all of today, then. So I was then free to do whatever I wanted for the rest of the day. I read a chunk of The Hound of the Baskervilles for my enrichment book club, had a nap, and surfed the internet for the rest of the day.

Now, despite it being only midnight, and me not getting up until 11:30 today, I feel so tired I could literally drop to sleep right here at my keyboard without much effort at all. In fact, it would be less effort to sleep here than to do anything else. And yet, I can't sleep because I'm talking to people. I like talking to people. >_o

Anyway. I'll put the sketch here, because it's only short. Enjoy. (Or not, whatever).

RAINBOW DISASTER

The rainbow of brightly colour candies lined the walls of the sweet shop on 57th street. They could be seen even from across the street, lit by neon strip lighting across the front of the shop that read “Madam Butter Rum’s Sweet Emporium”. Every morning from the day I got the job working at that place I would feel an unexplainable desire to get inside as quickly as possible, since without the lighting, even early in the day, the street looked empty and barren. The cold greet streets were washed out and dull, and the only thing I knew would bring brightness and beauty back to the street was to get inside and turn those fantastic neon lights on.

Even when I had been working there for weeks, months, I still found myself drawn to the lights on top of the building. After much pestering I managed to get Madam Butter Rum herself to agree to add a new light to the outside of the shop. It was a classic candy wrapper image, bathed in wonderful rainbow glory. In the winter it shone like a bright light in the darkness, like the story of the Goddess Aeve coming down to Exos to bestow upon the good believing people good fortune, luck and happiness. In the summer, during those hot, sultry summer nights in the city, the lights were like a guiding beacon, showing the children that there was an end in sight to the mad heat. They would come here in there hundreds- not all at once, but they would roll into the shop in a steady stream of bodies, each with money that they couldn’t wait to spend.

Inside the shop there was always air conditioning. I had asked for that to be installed as well, since beforehand it had been too warm, and all of the staff could barely cope without passing out, never mind smile and act happy as we were ordered to. After the air conditioning unit it was easier to be happy though, and the bright lights inside the emporium made the candy glow. Sometimes I used to think on it as a disco ball, throwing out those lights of all different colours. Sometimes I wondered whether it was right for us to be exposed to the colour for so long, wondered if it would desensitise us to the beauty. But after six years of working there, I still wake up every day with the desire to run into the shop and turn the lights on. I love to bring the children into the shop, I love to hand them their candy, watch as they climb onto stools and reach up into the glass boxes for their bags of Pick ‘N’ Mix. I love to be the one who can tell them “You’ve got two more grams if you’re going to give me that much money. Why don’t you go and get some more candy to fill your bag?”

I guess I was just born to work in a sweet shop. I was born to work alongside the rainbows and neon lights that feel like religion. And that was why I felt like my whole life had been turned upside down, when I woke up one morning to find our precious sweet shop, our home in the city, was no longer there. I can tell you now, if Danger hadn’t been there with me that morning, I do believe I might have died from the shock. It was devastation. And you know what the worst part of it was? The worst part of it was that for the first time since starting work in that place, I couldn’t turn on those neon lights and watch the city come to life. This is what death must feel like, I thought. There’s no way a person could live if they were to feel as dark, and cold, and empty as this. The prophecy, then, and the resolution that was made to bring Madam Butter Rum, and her sweet emporium, back to Central City, seemed like the most logical conclusion in the world.

Words written today: Five hundred and something, plus writer's block stuff which doesn't really count.

Lines for today: I like most of them, actually.

Borrow my faith, borrow my heart..

9th October

Took last night off to do homework and watch The Sound of Music. Took tonight off to do homework, watch Austin Powers and draw a naked woman for life art. ;]

I'd write, more but it's late.
Maybe tomorrow I should write something more detailed. XD

7th October

Now playing: Beat It - Michael Jackson

No one wants to be defeated, showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right.

Today has been awesome. Seriously. I managed to hit my goal for 80k at school and then had the rest of the night to do absolutely nothing. NOTHING. I didn't go any homework. I surfed the internet until gone eight in the evening, and then decided that I fancied having a crack at writing a character development sketch for Rouge, my new villain. I wrote the scene where she first buys her mute Talk Monkey pet. I really enjoyed it, wrote 2k, and for the first time in ages I geniuinely like the whole thing. Sure, it would need editing and crap, but I don't care. I like it so much I'm going to post it here. Beware: Crap Ahead. =P

CHIZ


The first time I saw Chiz I knew I’d fallen in love. I remember he was sat by the side of some Gypsy gentleman with a wide-brimmed hat, long coat and moustache that could rival Blue’s teenage ponytail. It was getting dark outside, and the weather was taking a turn for the worst. It was getting colder, and the dark clouds overhead threatened a storm if I didn’t hurry along soon. It was the perfect weather for a carnival.

Blue had told me that morning that I couldn’t have a pet. We’d sat in the Sun Room discussing animals in general, their plus sides and negatives, because Blue loves to talk about things in terms of business deals, and I had mentioned that I wanted to get a pet. I wanted something, an animal preferably, to lighten up the house because it gets awfully lonely in the towers around wintertime. Blue had shaken his head in annoyance, smiled at me and told me that I was always buying things to make the place less lonely. He said we should just downsize.

I disagreed. And so, when Blue argued with me again I did exactly what any other self-respecting independent woman would do: I went out and bought myself a pet. The carnival was in town and had been for a couple of weeks so far, but I’d neglected going that far into the C.C. before the day I went for Chiz. The walk seemed unnecessary effort, and I was far too busy trying to paint the guest room for when Mother came to stay- she didn’t come to stay, after all, but the room does look nicer now that it’s not that hideous orange that Indie painted it the last time- and I hadn’t felt like walking more than two feet from our house, never mind all the way into the centre of the C.C. I would have needed to take the train, and at the time it seemed like more discomfort than I could bear.

But when it came down to it, I would have done anything to prove to Blue that I was right, and that he was just being childish. So, I walked the half-mile to the nearest inner-city rail station, slid on at the back and hoped that nobody I knew would see me. I hate being seen on public transport, it’s so humiliating. I’ve told Blue time and time again that we should buy a car, but he insists again and again that we don’t need one. He says that we hardly ever go anywhere, and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s true. The only time I ever leave the house is to pop into the Palace Corp. to meet with The Directors, and I do that so seldom it’s not even worth it. Most of the time we work over the weblink.

The city was cool and damp, but the carnival was set apart from this biting weather in the dome they’d set up for it. Walking through there was like stepping into some giant bell jar, some bubble with almost-invisible walls. They forgot the roof though, so while the sidewalks were dry, the rest of the damn thing- all the roofs of the stalls and the little counters where they keep the rubber ducks- was soaked through.

The menagerie was located at the far end of the carnival, in a tent the size of our back yard. It stretched perhaps thirty feet in width, and was longer than I could be bothered to investigate. I didn’t head in there with the intention of buying anything in particular; I just knew that I really wanted something to live in the house with me. It would be even better if it could annoy Blue, though, and ideally I wanted something that would give Indigo the heebies. I was about to settle on searching for a snake- spiders seemed to commonplace, and besides which we already had enough of them in the attic- when I caught sight of a young girl.

She was probably no older than eight or nine, only ten or so years younger than myself at the time, and she was waving this great big banner above her head that read something like ‘Anim-azing animals on display. Beside the bar’. I didn’t even know it was legal for them to have a portable bar in a place like that, but being in the situation I was in- public transport really does mess with my nerves something rotten- I decided that it wouldn’t hurt me to have one drink. And the Anim-mazing animals didn’t sound too much of a bore either.

And that’s when I saw Chiz for the first time. The Gypsy man was sat on a barrel nursing a drink that smelt faintly like whiskey, or coffee, or possibly a combination of the two. Chiz was the most magnificent monkey I’d ever seen. He was also the first monkey I’d ever seen, and the moment I laid eyes on him I knew I had to have him.

“Is he for sale?” I asked the man, eyeing up the little ball of brown fuzz cautiously. He looked a little young- I assumed it was a ‘he’ anyway- and his face looked like a smashed watermelon, but I found him adorably cute. He sat stock-still, gazing at me with eyes that could have melted iron.

“Sure is love,” the man told me. “Hickle-back monkey, two years old. He’s an Animi, least we thinks he is. I fink he’s one of them talking ones, but as far yet we ain’t managed to get a peep out of him.” I continued to gaze at him, weighing his posture and his stare with my own. He certainly looked healthy, but if I didn’t know what a Hickle-back monkey was before that day, what did it matter if I thought he looked healthy?

“You want to get him off your hands then?” I asked coyly, twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. I learnt quite quickly in life that if you want anything for cheap, the best way to get it is to act cheap. It never fails.

“We sure do sweet ‘eart. He’s lovely an’ all, but we can’t take ‘em all back with us. You want him?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I played for time, twirling my hair some more and shifting from foot to foot. “I don’t have much money.” I counted what I did have, and that came to just over eighty Exos dollar bills. I wanted to get a drink before I left, and then maybe stop on Fourth Street to see if the new order of boots had come in.

“We was lookin’ for around sixty white,” the man told me. Sixty dollars was probably not bad for a monkey. I’d heard they were expensive; especially for a talking monkey. The little creature watched me intently, eyes following my every action as though he knew exactly the kind of scam I was trying to pull, and he admired every inch of it.

“That’s a shame,” I said, pawing at my mini skirt. I was glad I hadn’t dressed for the weather, for once. The Gypsy man was groping me with his eyes now, but I resisted the urge to shiver with disgust. All in the name of getting back at Blue. “All I’ve got is fifty dollars, and I’ve got to pay for the train fare back home...” One flick of my hair and he was almost drooling.

“Fifty you say?” he asked me. “S’all you gots?”

“Yessir,” I answered in my most earnest voice. “I really want him, too.” The monkey was bobbing his head excitedly now, rubbing his hands together.

“An’ you really want the flea ball?”

“Yessir.” I shifted feet again and brought my hands down to my lap, trying to appear younger than I was. It wasn’t hard; he was all over me.

He appeared to be thinking about my proposition, or rather my appearance and what he could say to his wife when she found out that the monkey had gone for ten dollars less than she’d wanted. He watched me, and I watched the monkey, and finally he spoke.

“So, you gots to catch the train?”

“Yessir.”

“How much white does that cost?” I quickly calculated how much it would cost a girl half my age without a privilege pass, and then clicked my fingers.

“About six dollars for that maybe.” It seemed like the long way around a negotiation, but I wasn’t going to rush him. He could ask me as many questions as he liked as long as I could get my hands on that monkey. I had the perfect little outfit in mind for him sitting in my closet from the time Indigo decided to raid the animal right’s works for contraband.

“So, you want the monkey?” I wasn’t going to get annoyed at him. I wasn’t.

“Yessir, and I have forty four dollars to give you. Can I please have him?” It took all my effort to keep the edge from my voice, and the smile I gave him hurt my face. The monkey appeared to be laughing at me.

“Forty four? You fink that’ll buy the monkey?”

“It’s all I have.”

He thought about it some more, and I imagined I could see his wife at home threatening him with a belt and sleeping on the grass outside their trailer, but apparently even her threats couldn’t hold off my charm. Finally he shook his head and laughed.

“I must be insane, girl, but you convinced me. I take it you know how to look after ‘im then?” I didn’t, but I nodded my head anyway. This kind of thing was what the weblink was for. “Alrigh’, take the poor sod. I’m sure he’ll love you.”

With a smile on my face I handed him the money from inside my bra and allowed the monkey to swing up into my arms. He still seemed to be laughing at me, but now it was in a respectful kind of way.

“By the way,” I said just as the Gypsy began to back away with his whiskey-coffee into the darkness of his stall. “Does he have a name?”

“The Misses named him Solomon,” he said. “I think it fits him.”

“Thanks.” I looked at the monkey with a degree of amusement, and the look in his face told me that he hated his name just as much as I did. “Alright,” I said once we were out of earshot- the bar was much less appealing now- “How about Chiz, and then a cup of tea in the HeartBreak?”

He nodded, and it was settled. Chiz was mine, and tea was on the menu.



Words written today: 3,267.

Lines for today: most of them.

Just Beat It, Beat It

6th October

Now playing: Never Neverland - Stephanie J. Block

In those tales bad guys seldom did win, so the captain was eaten... Mum, let me go to Never Neverland! So I'd pretend, I'm flying away.

A short entry tonight. I'm happy tonight.
I've written 1.5k today, and got to a decent scene. By which I mean a scene where Ellette gets beaten up. >_o I know I'm not very nice, but it does have something to do with the plot, honest! ... Sort of, anyway. I don't think there's actually anything else to say today, other than having an hour for a nap in the evening sure makes for a nice night. <3

I'm going back to bed now. =3

Words written today: 1,521.
Overall wordcount: 78,666 (Only 1.4k to go! =DD)

Lines for today:

"...You know, I hate that man.”

“I had gathered. We did try to blow him up.”

“And Exos how I wish we had succeeded,” Medina replied bitterly.

I'm flying away!

4th and 5th October

Now playing: I'm A Star - Eden Espinosa Someone give me a chance, and watch me break through. I deserve to be seen, this dream feels way overdue. I was born to perform more than anyone knows, I am passion and guts, I want this and it shows! It has been brought to my attention that all I ever do is rant. XD I rant, I moan. I'm boring. =O Today I've yet to write much, but that's okay. Yesterday I didn't write much either, but that's also okay. To be perfectly honest, I have all month to get this last 4k written, and I won't die if it takes me all the month to do it. =] Also, I'm happy. In a contest run by the lovely Holly Lisle (who has some fantastic writing tips on her website www.hollylisle.com) I have won today's prize. So, I should be getting my hands on a copy of her How To Beat Writer's Block. Hellyeah! I could dance. This is great. It's normally worth $50 which is wonderful in itself, but it might just help me enjoy writing again. ;] Holly, my faith lies in you. As for tonight, I think I'll get back to my writing and enjoying myself. ;3 Lines for today: “I won’t sit here discussing my sexual activity with you like a business deal. For goodness sake. I was fine before I met you, didn’t need anybody to ‘keep me busy’ then. You say it like what we had was the most special thing in the world. All it was- well, it was nothing more than a physical exchange. Nothing else. And you knew that at the time, so don’t be giving me all this rubbish about my longing for physical intimacy after you’d gone. If I remember correctly- and I know I do- it was you who talked me into sleeping with you the first time, which proves my point. I can cope perfectly well without a sexual relationship.” “So?” I am more than the average no one - one chance!

3rd October

They say that things always work out okay in the end, more so than you expect. At the moment I'm inclined to actually disagree with that, but I do have to concede that there are moments of light within every dark episode. This week has been a pretty draining one, and I have the distinct impression that this is exactly what life is going to be like for the next year. It's a depressing thought, simply because if this is how worn out I'm feeling after one month, how am I going to be feeling after a whole year of it?

And more importantly: how the hell am I going to be able to sit down and do NaNoWriMo with this much work on my plate? I suppose this is a thought I'm going to have to ignore for a little while. I'll have to condition myself to appreciate the more positive things in life, and stop myself from spending so much time gazing stupidly at the negative elements of every situation. But, even as I think this and make little resolutions to myself that I will honestly think in a more positive light, I find myself unable to do so. It's ridiculous, but the amount of stupid things being thrown at me at the moment is doing more than keeping me on my toes. It's like a dog trying to be a ballerina. It's not working.

So, right now I'm sat here thinking about my week and trying to pull out all of the positive bits. So far I've got... Not a lot. This week I've done all of my homework. Of course, I had some problems with that (involving a teacher getting annoyed at me because of a USB stick corruption that totally wasn't my fault- and HELL I emailed it him anyway...), but let's not think about that. So, I did all my homework. Well, all except for that important coursework that I have no idea how to go about and that stupid personal study for history which is eating my brain out.

I wrote 2,500 words today, which is more than I've written all week. And although this shows today to be a good day, it also suggests that this week has been incredibly poor. Aw hell, another negative point. Today I had a nap when I felt tired, but then of course we can relate this to my energy levels and discuss the fact that at seventeen years old, even with a full eight hour + night sleep, I still need to take daily naps. Does that make me weird? Or is it just because I'm constantly tired, and things are so much better when I'm sleeping? Perhaps I should avoid answering my own questions, because the answers only ever come out cynical and depressive anyway. Either that or I get sidetracked and never actually answer the questions I started out with.

And, to be perfectly honest, I can see nothing more positive about my week. And, this week was a week without much homework, and week that should have been easy. Whatever does that mean for next week? I can only worry because the more I think about it, the more worried I get, and the more worried I get the more I think about it. It's a horribly vicious circle, in which I find myself close to tears on numerous occasions and people simply telling me that it will either get better (my mother), or worse (all the teachers at school). Where do that leave me? *eyeroll*

So, aside from all this useless angst, I suppose there is little else for me to do tonight except sleep it off. Again. I just hope this time that it works.

I guess tomorrow I have my NaNo meet to look forward to. I hope it's one of those cold, fresh days that tastes like frost and autumn, and looks bright and cool. I don't want one of those horrible grey days, with no sunlight and nothing but drizzle rain. At least if it's going to rain (which I hope it doesn't because I don't have an umbrella and I have to walk through the town centre to get to the pub) I want it to rain properly. I want the heavens to open and pour buckets of the stuff from the sky whilst playing a loud thunder rumble and some bright flashes of lightning. No, what I want tomorrow is a nice crisp autumn day. I wonder if, for once, I can have this nice weather when I want it, so I can go out tomorrow all wrapped up in gloves and scarf and wash all the depression away with that biting wind. =P

Anyway. I have rambled for FAR too long tonight, and I'm sure this is getting boring. I could go on all night, but I have to get up in a few hours, so it's probably best that I get some sleep.

Words written today: 2,549

Overall word count: 76,114

Lines for today:

“Miaan...”

“Yeah?”

“Miaan, I slept with Ellette.”

Miaan’s head jerked at her words as he turned his head towards her. “What?”

“More than once.” She began to feel sick; her stomach was churning and all she could think of was the lake, and the rolling waters around her body, and the cool grass beneath her body.

2nd October

It's not that I have nothing to say.

It's rather that I haven't the energy to say it.

1st October 2008

I'll keep this short because the internet is lagging, but, YEY NANOWRIMO THREAD BY DAYS IS UP! I've been waiting for this for WEEKS. I've also written 500 words today, been told by my English teacher that I'm very widely read, and done all my homework. Aren't I just awesome? :B

Wordcount: 73,568 / 80,000
Words written today: 559.

Lines for today:

It was dark in our room, breezy but dark, and I was lying just dozing when I felt her hand on my arm. It was the first time we have made love indoors, because the lake seems to be our special place.

Countdown: 31 days

30th September

I left this a bit late again tonight. I've been too busy.

Today I've:
- written 1k words
- made a cover for my NaNoWriMo novel
- done two pieces of homework and reorganised my psychology coursework
- been really busy.

Get me.

Now, time for bed?

Lines for today:

“So, you’re trying to guilt trip us into going?” Ellette raised her eyebrows cynically.

“Well, that was the plan.” And then Neon smiled. “Is it working?”

29th September

Today hasn't been bad. Although I've only written 600 words, I've written my sexy scene, and now I'm onto the aftermath which will no doubt be harder to write because it's a lot more emotional. To be honest I'm happy with what I've written, it's not bad at all. The problem I'm having is that I've done no homework again today, and although this isn't urgent I'm beginning to feel like I really should do more during the week, even if it's not due in. I used to do my homework when I got it, and now I don't do it until a day before it's due in. That means that if I have trouble with it, I can't ask my teachers.

I should reorganise stuff, really.

But anyway. I left this entry a bit later tonight, so, that will have to be all.

Words written: 642. (Is that all? Whyyesitis.)

Lines for today:

She could remember the moonlight, and the lake, and the kisses. She could remember the sensations of bliss and happiness, the silver wave of pleasure that had crashed over her body. Ellette’s body moving beneath her- she could remember that too, almost perfectly- and her smiling, laughing lips curled like a rose petal.

27th & 28th September - double blog

I'm feeling much better today. And, my friend probably won't be getting better any time soon, but she's as fine as she can be (which turns out to be pretty damn fine xD), and it was nothing that a little bit of alcohol, a late night scary movie, and two MASSIVE bouncy castles couldn't fix, even if only for a little while. I don't drunk much, I but got tipsy and we played the TV-boardgame Atmosfear in the evening. That game is SO much more fun when you've had something to drink and are struggling to add up numbers on a dice. icon_xd.gif

We then spent the majority of the evening running up and down the 25 ft. tall bouncy slide thingy we rented for the party, and dancing around, and doing other stupid stuff. By the end of the evening I was absolutely off-my-feet-tired and could barely stand up because of it. It was fantastic. And the best thing of all was that I didn't have to worry about writing, or about feeling shitty, or anything like that. We just had some fun, some food, some alcohol, some moviez and plenty plenty plenty of friendly laughs and jokes.

This morning I woke up feeling much much better for it. I had two friends who slept over, one of them being the ill one. We ate left-overs for breakfast (I'm going to be eating that food for weeks to come, I just know it; Mum always cooks too much), and then chatted for a while. They didn't go home until 1pm., which was about the time that I actually had a shower, got dressed and sat down to do some writing... That didn't go too well, because at this point the men still hadn't come to collect the bouncy castles. I went out for another final bounce on both of them, and then spent most of the day jus surfing the internet and making a crappy first-attempt banner for my NaNoWriMo 2008 (which y'all better look out for because it's going to be awesome craptacular!

I've been adding to my novel right about now. We've just got to this sex scene that I was never sure about writing, and now have decided to write because it actually fits better now than in the original plan, and I'm feeling good. Although I have three days of writing to catch up with, I won't stress myself out over it because - DUN DUN DUHH - I've just done a word count and realised that I've got 70,000 words on this novel now! That means I have only 10,000 words to write before the end of October. I have a whole month to write 10k. This is good. No, wait. This is fabulous.

I don't need to stress myself out over it, because I only actually have to write 300 words a day to make my goal, and I don't think that will be a problem to be honest. What I think I'll aim to do is to get it done by about the middle of October, and spend the second half of the month just getting ready for NaNoWriMo; I've got banners to make, a synopsis to come up with, characters to develop and a load of dares to collect and subplot-plots to come up with. :]

In case any of you are somehow interested in my NaNoWriMo novel plot (which I don't think could be possibly after the length of this journal, but hey, I'll give it a shot), here are the basics:

Think of it like this: I have a thin string of main plotline which sort of runs down the middle of the novel like a backbone: The government has put a crackdown on “inappropriate fun”, and this includs things like candy, and sideshows, right?

Well.

You see, this is obviously going to create friction. So, these two main characters, Allouez Caine (aka AC, the good guy - you just know there are going to be Air Conditioning jokes) and Rouge Noir (the wonderfully fantabulous villain), are fighting for different sides. AC is part of a travelling side show/carnival, the money from which funds this MASSIVE candy emporium. Of course Rouge, and her brother, Blue, who are working for the government (kind of) have to get rid of them because of this ‘inappropriate fun’ which they can’t afford to let keep corrupting the world. She sends a team to airlift the emporium out of it's place, and it's taken some place far away, confiscated and hidden.

The main bulk of the plot is basically driven by the side show (including lots of carnival freaks and AC and the owners of the emporium) travelling all over to try and find the emporium so they can rescue "nameless character" who sends out their paychecks, and get the government to lift the ban on fun. Throughout the whole thing AC and Rouge will be posting in blogs and videoblogs and stuff with their plans, under the impression that nobody can see it. Of course, AC will discover the “private” part of a blog she has been arguing against on the topic of appropriate vs. inappropriate fun for years, and it’ll be Rouge’s blog with all these details about where the emporium is etc.

There will basically be this massive epic showdown at the end, where there is a battle and one side will win. The winning side will gain jurisdiction over Fun.


And there you have it. My long-winded way of saying "Here, plx read ma shitz plot. Ya?" x3

Anyway! Enough.

Words written today: 1,224 words and counting.

Lines for today:

“Well, at first I just thought you were stubborn. And then I realised that actually you weren’t the bitch you pretended to be. You weren’t quite so cynical, and you weren’t nearly so twisted as you made out. I thought to myself, ‘That girl just needs a friend’, and then that’s what I did. I became your friend. I tried to help you, and then, then I found out that I liked being your friend. I liked being your friend much more than I liked being anybody else’s friend, and I guess that just made me think more about being your friend. I never really thought about the reason you avoided people, though. I just thought you didn’t want to be around them because they were them, and you were you, and those were two completely different entities.”

26th September

My friend is ill. Very ill, actually, and they don't know quite what's wrong, only that it's bad. I've been distracted, and not written. Tonight I feel drained, and to be honest I don't even care. Whatever. Maybe tomorrow, and the party we throw, will be better.

I just have to keep thinking of the bouncy castle. <3

That's all I'll say today. Perhaps I'll write in a notebook in bed, or perhaps I won't. Whichever way, I can safely say that this week has been the worst one yet. D=

25th September

Today has been pretty shitty. Like yesterday. But, let's ignore this little fact and focus more on some of the other things. Aside from having some major problems at school today involving examinations and re-sitting some of them, and stuff like that, and loads of homework and shiz, today hasn't been that bad I guess. Today was my sister's birthday. She turned eleven. It was super cute.

Today I also did all my homework. I caught up on the TV show I missed last night and was rather annoyed about. It was the last episode, but it cheered me up somewhat. Bittersweet. I also watched the first (double) episode of one of my favourite shows (read as, one of the only shows I actually watch): Bones. Tonight I also found out that the new season of Cold Case starts next week. That cheered me up a little. Soon Thursday nights are going to be nice again. <3

Today I haven't written. I know. I feel pretty bad about it. But, hey, I'll catch up tomorrow. It's Friday, and I'm not doing any homework. I refuse. Tomorrow I will catch up with today's word count, and whenever else it was that I didn't write this week (actually, I think it was Sunday, but whatever). Then I'll have totally caught up and I'm sure I'll feel much better.

A positive outlook, I'm sure, is all that I need. For now, though, I'm really tired. I stayed up too late watching Bones, so sue me. I've been interrupted far too much tonight for my liking, but that's okay. When I'm sleeping is pretty much the only time they leave me alone. I'm going to enjoy it.

~x

24th September

I'm seriously pissed off right now.

And if I wasn't so tired I might use this blog to vent about my issues, but as it stands I'll keep myself cut short on the subject. Basically, I never seem to have time for anything. Between school, and homework, and writing, and parents bothering me, and animals (especially Magic, poor baby is bored witless half the time, and naughty as all hell when she has one of her moods. What a sweet puppy) and everything. The things I enjoy are having to take a back seat, but I don't want that. And then people have the nerve to tell me I'm anti-social, or they keep interrupting me whilst I'm trying to do something.

I'm like a ticking bomb. My parents don't understand that, nor does my sister, and I don't want to whine to my friends because that's just... not good. I just know that if people aren't careful they're going to push me over the edge.

I suppose, on one hand, I have written 1,000 words today. I promised myself I would. If I hadn't I would be extremely depressed.

Lines for today:

“Yes. Dee, I think I love you.” The words popped into the open air like bubbles, floating away from them almost as soon as they had been released. Medina found her heart in her throat, and a warm fire was beginning to grow in her chest. A warm shiver, and she still didn’t know what to say. Luckily, Ellette seemed bent on exposing her soul there and then, for all the world to see.

23rd September

Today has been worse than expected, but I guess not so bad as I'd have thought. Tonight, while having no homework, I was expecting to be able to get down to doing some serious writing, right?

.. Wrong. First one of my friends wanted to go for a walk. We did. Then I had to go and see another friend with her over some issues regarding a hotel in London and an anime convention (did I mention that I actually hate anime? XD I've no idea why I'm going. I guess I just want to spend a weekend in London or something). So, I was there until 8:00pm. I ate dinner, helped my mum wrap up some presents for my sister's birthday which is on Thursday, and then I only had half an hour to write. I've ended up extending that time until now, 10:40pm so that I could hit 1,000 words, but now I'm tired and I know I'll regret it tomorrow.

You win some, you lose some, I guess.

It's late. I don't really have time to write any more, even though I'd like to. Perhaps tomorrow might be better? I don't have homework again tomorrow, I don't think, because I've done it already... I suppose I just have to hope.

Lines for today:

Medina’s skin was almost black, and she found for once that she wished it didn’t look that colour; she wanted to look like she normally did, the blackness was disconcerting, especially when placed next to Ellette’s buttermilk skin. They looked like polar opposites, one a negative image of the other.

22nd September

The first day of autumn. Wet, windy, damp, and horrible. D=

Today hasn't been quite as productive as I'd planned, but I guess something is definitely better than nothing. Today I realised something about my villains for my NaNoWriMo project, and that will no doubt make them more interesting to write about, but as for my current project I'm so far not having too much luck with it. I've been feeling a little like my story is too flat, lately, and although it might be possibly because I have yet to write all the scenes that make the earlier ones siginificant, it's making it hard to get the first scenes written in the first place. How suckish.

I guess I'll just have to work harder, to get further, to get to the important bits where everything makes sense.

As they say within the Structuralist school of thought, "Things only make sense in comparison to something else". This is how my novels work. They work with themselves. Now, I just need to get the second half of said selves written.

Words written today: 1,087.

Line for today:

The sunset would have been beautiful, if only she could have seen it all. Instead, all she caught was a glimpse of the reds and golds of the sun as it made its steady way into the grave, spilling through trees to play across the water. She thought that it would have been nice if she could see the horizon; at least that way she would have known which way was up.

It's getting late. I'm not going to write any more, on this blog or otherwise.

Toodles~

21st September

Today we went for a walk. Three miles of walk. And then ate out at a restaurant. It was nice. <3

As for writing.

Well. Technically I've not written any fiction today; or at least I've not written any fiction on my own novel. However, I have spent a good two or three hours of my evening rewriting a prologue for my English Literature homework. We had to rewrite the prologue to She Stoops To Conquer, by Oliver Goldsmith, in a different style, and for a different audience.

I got really really stuck with it, because forced creativity that I'll have to perform in class is not my strong point. But, I kept working on it, and ended up with something that I think is at least decent.

It probably doesn't make sense without reading the original prologue (which you can find on the internet) but I'm going to post it here anyway, because I'm actually quite proud of it, and I don't have a line for the day. :]

She Stoops To Conquer
Prologue Rewrite

Enter MR. WOODWARD, dressed in black carrying a long thin staff, and holding in one hand a book of Fairytales, the other a Handkerchief.

Gather round boys and girls, and I will tell you a story.
Our tale begins a long time ago.
A time when Comedy lived merrily alongside the humans and ‘Price To Pay’ was three dollars-a-pop,
Back row in the theatre with a bag of carrot lollies and a cup of iced tea.
But now our dearest Comedy Rabbit is dying because a Sentimental man named Tragedy has been putting poison in the soup,
And without our sweetest Comedy, a man has no right to the lollies, nor the tea.
Whatever is a creature to do?
Comedy Rabbit is a fact of life, a critter used to the hardships of life but amused and ticklish in every respect all the same. Without our Mr. Rabbit, how does the world spin?
Who does Mr. McGregor throw from his garden for carrot-snatching if not Comedy Rabbit?

I have carrot sweeties to give, a box at the most,
And those always draw the crowds.
It used to be carrots, but now Comedy rabbit is running with the Fever Fairies
And carrot cake isn’t available to the general public.
So kiddies like yourselves got to starve, and listen to a Tragedy In Three Acts
And cry all the way to the end.

I tried to make a sad tale; I tried to conjure a Wicked Queen with warts and
An underbite, and a Wicked Mirror that only tells the truth,
But the real truth is I just like to laugh, and make faces out of carrot sticks.
My tale would go something like “A run in the park is a run in the dark if the Wicked Queen were near; A run in the park ain’t a run at all if you think about the trippy-traps and sticky-ups and lions and tigers and bears. A run in the dark ain’t a run in the park ‘cos a blind rabbit gonna trip up on bricks”
But tales of darkness is something I leave for the Vampires and Homophobes.

I’m not either, or, so I guess I’ll stick to kiddy tales and offerings of the kind of candy that doesn’t rot a soul from the inside out.

In our fairytale wood, a cat or a bunny could cry out for fear
Of foxes or wolves, or hunters or traps,
But Tragedy is hard-hitting like the bumper of a car driving at full speed down the motorway
And often unavoidable--
But! Oh there is a saviour! Here comes a Hero in Green, a Robin Hood of our metaphorical forest.
A healer with the highest power and plenty of the moo-lar to keep us in the business. Look kiddies, he’s got healthy candy and boxes and boxes of carrot-sticks from old McGregor’s garden.
Ain’t that sweet?
Those brightly coloured candies might look tasty,
lickin’-your-lips-tasty with a zing-of-space tasty,
But they’re poisoned like soup.
Comedy Rabbit doesn’t believe in Tragedy Candies; those candies to make you cry
Make you sigh
Make you die
With boredom.
Hero in Green, glittering Gold-smith has the plan. The carrot candies taste good,
Better than soulless candies from that Wicked Sentimental man
With the top hat
And sinister cloak.

Eat those carrots kiddies, and Comedy Rabbit might leap to life
The poison fever slipping into the night
With the dark-dark and run-in-the-park.
But take a silver-plated-bullet candy, then our sweetest Comedy Rabbit might fall
To the third bowl of comedy,
Which was not just right.

20th September

Today has actually been a pretty awesome day. :3

My sister's eleventh birthday is on Thursday, so today she held her birthday party. She had five friends come skating with us, and that was so much fun. I told myself I wouldn't do any skating, in case I hurt myself and broke a wrist or something (which would seriously mess with my ability to do exams and shiz). But, I decided eventually that I didn't feel like writing, or reading, because the music in the skate rink was way too loud, and it was dance music which I struggle to write to anyway. So, I went skating.

At first I was a little unstable, because I hadn't skated in so long, but eventually I got my confidence back, and before I knew it I was skating as fast as the professionals again. It felt good. <3>

It tired me out, though, because I'm not used to it. Now the tops of my legs are a little sore, and the bottom of my feet because the skates I got were falling to pieces and made my feet blistery. I got home, was so tired that I couldn't stay awake, and took an hour to have a nap. And took some headache pills. When I woke up I was in charge of keeping an eye on some of the kids who had come back to our house to stay the night (three of them, plus my sister), so I spent most of my evening chatting with this one guy called Paul, who really is kinda sweet.

And then, finally at 1am, once they'd gone to bed (they're still awake, though, I can hear them) I got to sit down and do some writing. My original plan had been to do homework after, but that hasn't been the case- I'll do it tomorrow.

I'm actually pretty pleased with my output. Considering that yesterday I struggled to even write a word, tonight the words came a lot easier. I'm onto a rather amusing scene right now, with some character revelations and cute bits with the main characters, so I'm really enjoying myself. I've also written 1.5k, which after this writer's block feels like a miracle. Miracle I tell you!

So, now, I'm at 66.4k for this novel, giving me only 14k to write before NaNoWriMo starts. I've also been planning out some characters for said NaNo novel. So far I have two main characters: the villain, Redd (but everybody calls her Rouge because she hates mixing languages) Noir, and Allouez, my hero. Rouge has a brother called Blue (Redd and Blue, geddit?); their parents thought it would be funny. XD

As of yet I have no conflict, and no reason why my hero would hate my villain and quest to kill her, or why my villain would quest to kill my hero, but it's okay. I have a while to come up with something yet.

Now, though, it's 2:40am and I'm tired. I guess I should go to bed, but not before I put up my line for the day. I'm going to start doing this, because I think it might help me have more confidence in the quality of my work, or at least I'll enjoy it a bit more.

Line(s) for today:

Ellette: “Oh, he did. He knew I was a Cuckoo, even if Calina never did.”
Medina: “A Cuckoo?”


Thank you, and good night. ;3

19th September

I had a dream this morning. About nail varnish. O_O


And, today during Psychology our teacher, Mr Read confessed that it was probably he who caused the fire alarm to go off. We were told that the alarm was set off by a door nearby slamming too hard and jogging the glass inside, which set the alarm off. Our form tutor said that whoever set it off "had probably been outside of the room (our psychology room, where the alarm first went off) at just ten o' clock."

Well, guess who went outside of our classroom at ten o' clock yesterday morning to make a cup of coffee?

That's right. Mr Read.

It was quite funny, actually. He then said it would be a little unjust of him to set us homework to catch up what we missed in that hour if it was him, in fact, who had set the alarm off. He said it would be kind of ironic. ;O

So, today has been alright. I had book club today, where we were given two short stories (one of which was the Canterville Ghost, by Oscar Wilde) and told to just read them for next week, ready to discuss. That can't be hard. ;)

Yesterday I wrote 1000 words, which is good because I would have no doubt written more if I hadn't been doing homework for three hours last night. @_@

I want to write some more tonight.
But for now I have a doctor's appointment to attend, so I should be off.

Toodles. <3

18th September

Today, today, today...

Well, I suppose today was interesting if nothing else. Today, at Derby Moor, we had a fire bell go off half way through period two (which for me was my second hour of Psychology with Mr. Read-I-Can't-Really-Read). Apparently, with DMCSC being the scuzzy school that it is (apparently) these fire alarms go off quite frequently because the kids like to set them off. Today, though, was different.

Although the thing wasn't actually scheduled, it wasn't a kid that set the thing off, it was something that the teachers referred to only as a 'technical fault'. Said fault had us lined up in our form groups in the tennis court playground thingy for over half an hour in silence. Then, when they realised that they couldn't get the bell fixed we were told we could sit on the floor and chat quietly with each other. So, in total, we were out there for over an hour. During this time we also missed our break between lessons, which was annoying. We ended up having a shorter break, and eating into our next lessons.

Of course, as always, this means more homework.

Oh how I love homework.

Not.

.___.

I've got so much homework it's not even a laughing matter any more. I mean, I know it's supposed to get harder and all this year, but seriously, is three hours homework really necessary for just two subjects? REALLY?


REALLY?

...


During tutor period today we were working on our personal statements. Mrs Archer says that although mine still needs a tiny little bit of work, it's one of the tightest statements that she's seen in a long while. This meant I had a good twenty minutes of the lesson to do nothing but write. Well, I was supposed to do homework, but I didn't feel like it, so I wrote a good 400 words. Not a lot, but it's something. Now tonight I have about an hour to write some more. I'd like at least another 600 words, because then I can keep up a 1k a day target, despite all the school work and shit that I'm having to deal with.

That'll make me feel good.

But for now, I don't have anything interesting to say because I want to write. So, like. Yeah.

~~

17th September

Hell yeah. I remembered! =D

Not that I have much to tell this time (I'm sure you're glad, yes?) because today nothing really happened. I walked to school listening to Dr. Horrible's singalong blog playing on my iPod, and really enjoyed myself because it was one of those mornings when the air is really quite cold and crisp. I didn't wear my suit jacket, just my shirt with the short sleeves, and let the cold rub icy gooseflesh up my arms. OhyesIdid. So, I got to school feeling really refreshed, made it through two hours of English Literature with Mr Summers without incidence, and then two hours of Psychology with Ms. Seago likewise. I got home, ate, played with the new puppy (she's so fucking cute), did some writing- I'm on about 600 words for today, but I might do some more later, methinks- and then did some homework.

Get me. I'm on a fucking roll! >D

Now, as soon as Alex and Hazel get here, I'm going to Alex's house where we're going to chat about the London Anime Convention, Octover 24-6.

Speaking of which, they're here now. I'ma go now.

Laterz. >3
~

16th September (2)

So. I blew all my energy on homework. Y'know how it is. So, now, I can't be bothered to write this entry, or write my novel. The good thing in this situation is that I have done my homework. That's a first. .__.

I feel I should talk about yesterday, say something interesting or witty, but to be honest, nothing really happened yesterday. I woke up at nine, because I had a double free session in the morning, and then didn't get to school until 10:45 for my lesson at 11:05. It was a wonderful feeling, that; the only problem was that by the time I got to school I felt like my head was going to explode or something. Seriously explode too, like a fucking supernova or some shit. It was not good at all. So, I'm there at school with a double session of history first with Mr. Davis, whom I think is awesome. He's young, vivacious, bouncy and yesterday when he walked into our lesson he was totally hyper.

Apparently he'd just come from the staff room (and he was five minutes late, no less, when he's normally the one harping on about how the bell goes at ten past and how we should all aim to be there only a minute after, etcetera etcetera), but he's had a bit of an accident during his break and split a jam tart down his shirt. White shirt. Red jam. Firstly, how the hell do you spill a jam tart? Secondly, who the hell actually spends his lesson teaching time actually trying to clean it up? It was possibly the most hilarious situation he's ever told us about.

He's so unprofessional with his stories it's insane, but it's okay because he's cool like that. Like the time he pretended to have a mental breakdown in our lesson because it was all part of some kind of role play activity to help us learn about Napoleonic France. Suffice to say I never forgot that lesson, or why the coalitions against France failed at first.

Anyway, so he comes into the lesson late, and after relating to us in no uncertain terms all about his "tart related mishap" (definitely a quote for this years NaNo), he jumped straight into the work for the lesson. I think the jam went to his head or something, though, like he had a sugar high, because pretty soon he was bouncing all over the room. It was almost as funny as the time he got hyper by overdosing on Calpol (Seriously? Wtf.) He started using all these weird analogies, and some of the stuff he came out with was simply priceless.

It encouraged me to get out my notebook and write down all of the stuff he said, so now I have a list of "Davo quotes", including gems like "Sorry, all I can think about are hoes, fat cows and turnips" (on the subject of why he was referring to turnips so much. Apparently he'd just been teaching a bunch of year 9's about the agricultural revolution), "You lose the ability to think when you teach", "History teachers love stories; the truth doesn't matter!" and "Oh! The handbags are out!" (referring to a cat fight between two of the boys in the class).

Another classic from halfway through the lesson is as follows:

Chris: "What's going on out there, sir?"
Mr Davis: "They're just having a riot."

And man the way he said it was just wonderful. He also spent the whole lesson calling the Pittites "Pitties" until he was corrected by Liz, whereupon he knelt down on the floor and sobbed to himself in a mixture of embarrassment, laughter and sorrow. Bless him.

After history I had a less than memorable hour of English Literature. We were just reading for our coursework. Nothing special there, only I had, by this point, a fucking migraine. I tell you, I couldn't wait to get home.




... And you just know you found that interesting.

As for today, I have very little to relate. Double General Studies this morning, with Mrs Arched and then Mr Venkatesh (who is actually nicer than I gave him credit for. I was thinking he was going to be awful -_-). Then I had another double free, when I came home made lunch and did nothing but Gaia for an hour. Finally I had history. With Mr Murray, not Mr Davis. I know, how guttering.

The writing today has made very little progress, partly because of my tiredness (which I hope coffee will cure soon enough), this blog which has taken more time than I had planned for since I've gone on for way too long about a certain teacher, and the fact that I just can't be bothered. I don't know where all my energy has gone from the other day, but after the suicide scene which I enjoyed writing immensely, I don't really have any energy at all for the rest of it. Shame really, since I'm only half way through this novel- actually not even that far year, more like 1/3- and about half way through the trilogy and already I'm getting bored. This isn't a good sign for future writings....

I'll just not think about it and hope it goes away. Or something. But, tonight, no matter how unmotivated I am, I have at least 500 words to write and I'll be damned if I let such a small amount of words knock me for six.

.___.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, off to write we go! With a bucket and spade to fill in all the holes, hi-ho, hi-ho hi-ho hi-ho! XD

Toodle-oo.
xx

16th September

Okay, perhaps not the best start to a new regime...

I posted in my Gaia journal, though? D:

I feel awfully guilty about it, but I know that not posting isn't the end of the world. Hey, I know, I'll make two entries today, and I'll talk about both today and yesterday then.

Since it's only 8am right now, I don't think I've got much to talk about today, and to be honest I don't have time to talk about yesterday right now, so I'll wait until I come home later or something, and totally do this while I'm supposed to be doing homework. >_>;

So, toodle-oo for now, and I'll bloggerup later. =3

14th September 2008

Jesus H. Christ. I haven't written in a while. You lose one day, you lose 'em all, right?

So, it appears as though I have a lot of catching up to do. Let me see, what has happened since my last blog, two months ago...

For starters, I went on the Summer School at Nottingham University, and it was fucking marvellous. I had so much fun, met some awesome new people, and got a taste for university life. Also, I hit 100k on the novel the day before going.

Speaking of the novel, I wrote solidly for the rest of the summer, pretty much. I have a progress chart on a Gaia thread, so I'll put that in here.

July 3rd: 3,573 words written. Chapter Two part 1 finished, part 2 begun.
July 4th: 2,550 words written. Chapter Two part 2 finished, part 3 begun.
July 5th: 2,139 words written. Chapter Two part 3 continued. 100K REACHED! *Does a happy dance* I think I might have to up that goal now though...
July 6th: SUMMER SCHOOL
July 7th: SUMMER SCHOOL
July 8th: SUMMER SCHOOL
July 9th: SUMMER SCHOOL
July 10th: SUMMER SCHOOL
July 11th: SUMMER SCHOOL (Oh, it's good to be back!! I miss people already though... Boo...) - 2,048 words written. Chapter Two part 3 complete, part 4 begun.
July 12th: 2,065 words written. Chapter Two part 4 continued.
July 13th: 2,590 words written. Chapter Two part 4 completed, Chapter Three begun.
July 14th: 2,308 words written. Chapter Three part 1 completed, part 2 begun.
July 15th: 4,170 words written. Chapter Three part 2 completed, part 3 begun.
July 16th: 2,501 words written. Chapter Three part 3 continued.
July 17th: 2,158 words written. Chapter Three part 3 completed, part 4 begun.
July 18th: 0. It's all good. <3>
July 19th: 2,183 words written. Chapter Three part 4 continued.
July 20th: 2,105 words written. Chapter Three part 4 completed, Chapter Four begun.
July 21st (today has been an emotionall difficult day, but success has been achieved): 2,563 words written. Chapter Four part one completed, part 2 begun. Major plot point reached!
July 22nd: 2,158 words written. Chapter Four part 2 finished, part 3 begun and finished.
July 23rd (today instead of writing I drew cartoons of my characters. It's all good. =D): 0 words written.
July 24th: 2,116 words written. Chapter Five begun.
Jul 25th: 2,058 words written. Chapter Five part 1 complete, part 2 begun.
Lost track while on holiday... Made slow but steady progress though!
August 2nd (three hour delay at the airport plus a four hour flight means productivity!): NOVEL COMPLETE!! I've cut about four thousand words out. I hit 140k, and I'm now back down with a final count of 136k. =D Go me! *Throws another party*


Yes, it is true. I have finished the novel! Also, I've renamed it. The new name of this novel is now Purple Mist, so that made me happy.

Since I finished the novel within the summer, and I still had a good chunk of the SuWriMos left, I decided to tackle the second novel in the trilogy, which now has the name Dark Hour. As of today I'm on 57,864 words. Talk about progress! =D I wrote nearly 200,000 words this summer, and read plenty too. It's been great. Now, I'm back at Sixth Form.

Also over the summer I got my AS level exam results: AABC. They're not as great as I wanted (the C is annoying, but I can't do better in that subject, and the B in History was supposed to be an A, but I screwed the exam up due to a wrist cramp). Consequently I'm retaking one of the History exams in January to boost my grade up to an A, and then I'll be happy. Sixth Form is way more difficult this year, already, but I'm going to force myself to cope with it without resorting to some kind of mental breakdown.

I've had to reduce my daily word count goal down to 500 words, because of the school work, but even with this count I still figure I can get to 80k on the novel before NaNo starts. I've decided that I'm going to start a new novel for NaNo this year, and leave my trilogy to more serious writings. I've been having some trouble with my writing lately, which I hate, and so I figure that if I take November out to write something that is complete and utter nonsense I'll be able to relax myself and I'll go back into Black Hour feeling so much better because of it. I need a break, and I need to write something even more shit than this. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense, anyway. >_>

At the very least I'm going to try and make blogging every day a priority, because I feel guilty for writing nothing over this last two months. If I make it something I have to do, then I won't skip it, and I have to admit I do love going back through all these posts and reading them. So, I promise myself, it is as important as writing, or doing homework.

Yeah?

Yeah. :)

Honest.

Anyway. For now I'm going to perhaps write some more while I'm in the mood. You never know when it might end. :/


Peace out.
xxx

3rd July

Yep. she is indeed. :)
My mum's best friend promised that she would take me and my sister down to London to see two shows of our choice. Now, that was two years ago, and everybody has been putting it off, and putting it off as more and more crap has come up, but after my moaning, and my mum's friend (Trish)'s moaning, we're finally settling on a date!

Yesweare. I'm so happy.
We've decided that we're going to go down around my sister's birthday in late September to see the Phantom of the Opera, and Chicago. I was tempted to ask to see Wicked while we're down there, but no offense to Alexia (who has taken over while Kerry's on Broadway), I'd rather see Kerry, so I'm going to head down to see Wicked again in December, when Kerry comes back. I'm super excited for PofO though, and Chicago, because I love the movies, and the soundtracks, and would love to see a show besides Wicked. :D

Anyway. Other news...
Ohyeah. =D I'm almost at 95k with the novel! ^0^ It's been tough these past few days, but I think I've broken through the barrier again, and I'm getting somewhere with my plot. Although we're 95k in though, the end isn't really close, yet. It's getting CLOSER don't get me wrong, it's just not... CLOSE. XD I know where I'm going through, so I can promise you that although it seems like plotless rambles, this is only half the case!! =]

I've also had ideas for the next novel, and the one after that. And, the new title of the series is

Exos: The Blonde, The Bad, and The Artificial.
xD
How awesome? It fits each novel, that way. I've also come up with a working title for the last novel. Roboto. As you can tell, the Queen song Mr. Roboto has had some rather profound effects on my work. >_>

But, never mind that.

AND! Today was my last day of Sixth Form for the year. Tomorrow I head to East Anglia university to have a look around, and then next week, from Sunday to the following Saturday I'll be doing a summer school with Nottingham Uni, which I'm really looking forward to. :) I'm just hoping I can hit 100k on the novel before then, because I'll sleep so much easier if I can.

I guess I'd better get cracking, hadn't I? If I want to get it done...

xx
Peace out.

28th June

80k!
80k on the novel!
I'm so happy. That felt better than to hit than 75k, and yet I'm not really sure why. Though, I'm only... half way through the plot. I'm just hoping that my second half will be shorter than my second half (not possible numerically, but you know what I mean). I don't think that will happen though. I suppose I'll cut some of this out in the rewrite, but, I think it's nearly all important. I mean, okay sure, I did spend some time tonight describing an elevator, but my MC has never been in one before, and so for her to just get in one without any kind of thought or anything would be stupid. Especially since she's a relatively curious, yet paranoid character in comparison to other characters in the novel/in other novels.

Well. Whatever. It's a novel for me. If it's boring, it's boring. I don't care. I'll keep saying it, and saying it. Because, in the end, I'd rather have a long boring novel, with all my character interaction and a summer's worth of writing fun that nothing at all, besides which I love pretty much everything I've written to some extent. There is only one scene of about 100 words that I want to cut out, and only then because it doesn't fit with the narration style. HELL if my novel bores people, does that matter? If I'm the only one really to read it, then hopefully it won't bore my reader(s) at all! XD

Calina is handling being away from Ellette quite well actually. In fact, she seems to be coping better than she did in the scenes were she was alone at the university. She seems to have already developed a sense of confidence, even if her knees are buckling underneath her. And she's already made some VERY powerful friends. I think that's a good thing, personally, and it means that the plot is progressing, because she's about to start the second part of the novel now, with a quest. >D Ooooo. No, it's not really the fun kind of quest- well, it could be if I made a whole novel of it, but that's not the point. The quest is a bi product of the obsession that occurs earlier in the novel, and not the other way around. Do I care if this makes it unmarketable? NOPE! =D I love it!

And, I love Calina, because I didn't think she'd handle this well at all. :]

And, I'm rambling.
So, like any of you care.
It's bed time soon.
xx

26th June

75k on the novel! *dances*

Yes. I feel good. Is that a crime?

Even if it is, I don't care.
This novel means a lot to me right now, and even though sometimes it's a bit hard to write it, I don't let that bother me. It might be boring for other people to read, they might hate it, but at the end of the day it's my novel, and so I can do what I like with it. People don't have to read it, but I do have to write it, so I might as well enjoy it. Right?

So, we're 3/4 of the way to my original goal, right? and I'm still nowhere near halfway through. I mean. There's probably another 7-10k left of this half of the novel. To be honest it kind of feels like nothing has happened, major plot point wise, which I suppose is true. Things have happened, but they're all insignificant enough that people may see them as boring. I have a lot of interaction between Calina and Ellette which will hopefully play towards the plot point that I have just thrown out there, but I don't even know if people see the relationship between the sisters like I do. Oh well. If the novel is an epic, I'll just have to buy a pipe and call myself Tolkien. I'm sure a lot of people won't mind. <33

Anyways, I'm in a rant-y mood tonight, so I have a feeling that it would be a good idea for me to go to bed, and get some sleep. I've been far too tired lately, and thus I'm getting boring.

Actually, I'm boring anyays. My life is basically: Wicked, School, Writing, Wicked, Writing, Reading, Wicked, Writing, Wicked, Wicked, Wicked, Rant, School... Yeah. I'm pretty sure you can see the common themes there... I've listened to the Kerry Ellis version of Defying Gravity 94 times already in the last three days, and that's only the times I've listening to it on the pc. I also have my iPod. (No, I'm not counting. iTunes is. I'm not that sad... Yet. >_>)

So.
Without further ado,
I bid ye adieu.
:3

Oh god. I'm rhyming now! -shoot me?-

xx
Peace out.

23rd June 2008

66,000 words on the novel now. Whoo! Progress!

I 'accidentally' only wrote 31 words on Saturday, because of Alex's birthday party, so I'm 2k behind, but I'm not up to writing that today, really. I'm quite happy though, because my plot is going somewhere, I think. It's not going anywhere fast, but it's moving (hey, snail's pace is better than ROCK). I'm quite happy with how things are working out at the moment, but I'm getting kinda sad because soon I'm going to have to leave behind a number of my main characters (well, ALL, actually) including Medina, Ellette and Azaliah so that Calina can move out into the big wide world on her own. Damnit, that sucks. I think that's what has me stalling. I'll miss Ellette too much, really. I've come to love the dynamic when I put Calina and Letty together, and I'm not going to have that soon. Nuuu!

I could cry. Only, I planned it that way, always, and so I need to stop whining and just get on with it. Really I am such a big baby. D:

I suppose I'd really better get on with it, eah?

In other news. People should SERIOUSLY check out Kerry Ellis' version of Defying Gravity. It'll be on her new album, and WOAH. It's like... Wicked in Rock! (Amazing really, since that's the name of her album... >_>) I love it. It's so rocky, and it makes me want to jump around and sing along, even more than the Wicked original. God I love that woman. If only I could steal her voice... I'd sneak up and- actually, that would be mean. Forget that. Mhmmm... If only I could.... get her to tour Derby? xD That would be better, but almost as mean. Damn. It looks like it's Broadway and the West End forever. D:

But, that's enough. I'll rant about it otherwise. And, even though the song is great, and so are her other songs, I don't want to waste any more time typing this when I could be like... Doing other things. :D

Toodles. <3

----------------
Now playing: Kerry Ellis - Defying Gravity

Just about June 21st...

Kitty is tired, this morning. Early morning.

61,000 words in with the novel, and it's sloppy, and choppy, and horrible, and yet she's loving every minute of it. Well, most of it. xD Calina is being wonderfully fickle, as usual, Ellette's run off with Medina and Azaliah, and Endara is having post-murder breakdowns about the death of her sister. Meanwhile Vanora- oh she annoys me- has decided that she wants to be a novelist. She's the freaking music student. WHY?

They always change their minds. Calina most of all. I have a love/hate relationship with her right now, though. I'm supposed to be fully in support of her wild accusations, but I'm not, which means that it comes across as her being really wild, and that means people don't believe her. And that's annoying, because that's how she becomes the good guy. Holy Exos this is getting confusing.

And jumbled.

I'm jumbled.

A tired, jumbled mess.
I'll go to bed.
I think.

xx

17th June 2008.

Oh Goodness it's been a while. I suppose I'll have to put it down to laziness, really, and lack of motivation and interesting facts to write in this thing... Let's see, what's happened since February?

A lot of writing, for one.

On April 8th 2008, I finally finished Pride, my NaNoWriMo novel from waaaaay back in 2005. I was so proud of myself! The ending was something I've been thinking about for a very, very long time, and so to finally get it finished was a great relief, and to be honest I'm glad I'm rid of it. It's definitely time to move on from that novel for a long while, and I don't even think I'll bother to edit it. My characters went from 2D to 3D, to unsure, to 2D, 3D... Dear goodness. I got so confused. I think I ended on a high note though, so that's that.

I'm also taking part in the Gaian SuWriMos (Summer Writing Months) again this year, and during my exams I had the biggest idea ever. It's a fantasy, almost a moral tale about obsessions, and the thin line between good and evil. I had the luxury of going to see Wicked at the London Apollo Victoria Theatre, in London, on April 23rd, and I loved it so much I went again on May 29th. My sister and I got loads of autographs (though, sadly, we missed the lead Kerry Ellis because she was ill. She's in Broadway now, for six months), and I also read the book Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. It was so inspirational.

So, on the novel: I started on June 2nd, and the idea is that I'll continue writing in a NaNoWriMo until the 31st of August. As of tonight I'm already on 53k, which is fantastic- though I'm beginning to think the novel is going to be longer than I anticipated. at first I thought 100k, like all of my other novels have been, but like I said: I'm already at 53k, and I'm probably only a third of the way through the storyline. That leads me to think that I've got a monster epic on my hands. And, of course, it's another trilogy: the first novel is from Calina's point of view. She's supposed to be the good guy. The second novel is from Medina's point of view. She's purple and supposed to be the bad guy. And finally the third novel is from a more neutral point of view. Big project, no?

Bah. I have very little else to talk about, besides writing and Wicked (since that's all my life consists of... I'm such a boring person) I've done nothing else... Well, nothing that I can remember after a few months. Except my exams. I did those, and probably failed, but that's just as boring. I'll stop.

xx

29th February 2008.

Yey. A leap year.

Jeez, I've been so bust these past few months it's been unbelievable!
On the other hand, I have rediscovered the joy of the Writer's Forum on www.gaiaonline.com. It's been getting me to write more, with an added bonus if I win the contests. Hannah and I set up a sort of goal as well; we each have to write (or start writing) a short story every month. We bring them to the monthly meets, so that we can at least say we're writing during the year. I know that it's a big problem with NaNo writers, we always get lazy during the rest of the year when there's not that pressing deadline breathing down your neck. That's why my goal this year is to write more, even if I do have to pass exams and do awfully hard coursework at the same time.

I'm not doing too badly. Last month I wrote two very short (like, 2-4k each) short stories, and this month I have one complete story at about 7k and another one I'm trying to finish tonight to take with me to the meet tomorrow.

That's what I call progress.

30th November

NaNoWriMo 2007 just officially ended for me.
Go me.
Final word count:
102,420.

I DID IT!! *dances*
And now to sleep. *dies*.

29th November

Oh gosh. Only a day to go. I've just hit 94.5k words, and I'm totally on target to hit 100k tomorrow if I manage to get out another 3k tonight. I've no doubt that I can do it, but it's really sad to see another NaNoWriMo winding down. It's a hard month, but I know that when it's over I'll miss it. I'll miss the targets and the word counts. I'll miss thinking about my novel all of the time... I said last year that I was going to write 1k a day after NaNo finished, but I didn't. This year I have two incomplete novels to think about finishing during the year to come, and I still need to finished my NaNo2005 Novel Pride. 1k a day on these wouldn't go amiss, I don't think, but I doubt I'll be able to keep it going without the deadline. School (especially with exams and such) with definitely keep me on my toes, and I'm sure that will be much more important, so I'm really at a stage now, where I wish NaNoWriMo wouldn't end xD

Awwwww well, I suppose I'll just have to keep people poking me until I finished the novels, especially Portellan- A Love Story, since I'm loving that novel so much at the moment. I don't know if the affection will last, but I'm certainly hoping so.
xx

Kitty.

26th November

So, with the new novel started (which I am LOVING by the way) I now have a grand total of 85.4k! Whoohoo! I think I'll definitely hit 100k since this new novel is just so cute! I love my characters, and I don't miss Roxanne at all. Gypsy is just so sweet, and Nicholas is so sexy *Ummmmm...*

Wish me luck getting there!
I have Half days on Wednesday and Thursday and I actually have November 30th off! Whoopie! I'm SO going to be writing all day... :P

xx

23rd November

My novel has died after 76k words. I'm bored with it; the characters, the plot, the everything. I was so excited before, and it just seems to have crumbled like a castle made of sand when the tide comes in. Hmm. I'm still struggling with letting it go, since I still love it very much, but I think I'll probably write something totally different for the last week of NaNoWriMo. I already won anyway, so I don't really see the point in fighting much any more. I guess I'll have to free write something and hope that I get a week's worth of project out of it, that I won't get TOO attached to. xD

Night.

17th November.

Wow had this week been busy. I've been trying to write, I really have, but it just hasn't been working too well. What with an art assessment and some other horrid assessments to revise for (not to mention all of that homework) I've slowed to a pretty dead halt, at least I did during the middle of the week. This weekend I was trying to get going again, so tonight I'll be on 70k, or just over, and by the end of tomorrow I'll have 7k and I can be back in the competition with Alex again. She was kind and waited for me while I was going through my week 2 blues.

I should be back on track this coming week, so long as I make sure to get all of my homework done tomorrow D:

Night guys.
xx

11th November

HOMGHOMG!!
Last night I hit 50k!!
Whoo!!

Hehe.
I'm feeling so happy, I think I might post an excerpt....
Now to take today off, do homework, chill, read, and then tomorroe we're back in the game! >D

We sat together, all huddled up on Kittie's bed, in a little group of four, private and calm. At first we wept a little, but it was only slight tears, the ones that are forced to come, for we knew that the real tears would flow after we had been parted, if any were to flow at all. We held onto each other, smiled at each other, and spoke small jokes of things that had happened in the the time we had known each other. Red eyed and dry mouthed, we said out goodbyes.

"Remember the time when..."

"Did you ever find..."

"What did she say when..."

"How old were you when..."

"I'm going to miss you." My throat caught up, and my stomach tipped. In two weeks, we would all be gone, all out in the world on our own. These friendships we had formed had been unusual, unlikely, yet strong as carbon bonds. We would never lose the memories we had made, even though they were spotted with the tainting of the Institution.

"It's going to be really strange with you guys gone," Thelma said, her eyes distant and staring as she looked into Constance's face. They shared a look, one which I wasn't familiar with but seemed a little like a hunger, or a lust for something, and then it was gone, as quickly as it had come. Constance's eyes brightened a little. Thelma's mouth turned into a more smiling line. I thought I had imagined it. "I'm going to be lonely, I think."

"What about Roxanne?" Kittie laughed.

"Oh, I'll have Roxanne, of course," Thelma backtracked awkwardly. "I didn't mean it like that." She looked at me apologetically, and I laughed.

"It's fine."

"I'm just used to there being four of us, or at least three of us, and it's going to be totally weird with you not here. That's all. I'm going to miss you both." Again, I thought I saw the flash of admiration, want, fly into Thelma's eyes, but once I looked closer I realised I had been wrong. She was just sad...

"It will be weird it just being us two again," Kittie told her sister. "I haven't spent time alone with you, just with you, in a very long time."

"You have lessons, and at supper," I suggested.

"Yeah, but there were always people around then. Once we go to work, people will leave us alone, they won't be around. We're going to be the lowest of low servants in that house, let's face it, are people going to want to get involved in our affairs? Especially if they know we're ex institute?"

"You'll have people watching over your shoulder," I reminded her.

"That's not the same thing. Somebody watching over you, and being with you all the time, are two totally different things. They'll leave us alone, and besides, if they don't we've always got nighttimes to catch up with each other. They'll definitely leave us alone then. We have our own room, because they don't want us having the chance to steal anything from anybody else. They lock us in, I think, like here."

"Don't you ever feel like we're treated like animals? We're locked in here, trapped like wild animals in cages."

"Like at the circus."

"The circus?"

"Yeah, they have wild animal attractions there, and lots of them. I hear they have lions, and tigers."

"That's horrid. Poor animals."

"Like us, I suppose, locked in but at least they get fed and worked."

"I don't know..." I glanced at Thelma, and realised she hadn't spoken in more than